Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I’m Sorry, But Jenna Fischer Looks Like Crap Here

Jenna Fischer on Red Carpet for Walk Hard Premiere

I thought long and hard before writing this article, because the Film.com office is staffed almost entirely by fervent Jenna Fischer admirers, and I like my job a lot, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

And in this case, it’s calling Jenna Fischer out for looking like crap on the red carpet.

I like you, Jenna. I do. But, woman to woman, this look does not work. And you’re single now, so you have to be looking good!!!

(I know, I know. I bought my one-way ticket to feminist hell long ago. I’ve made my peace with it.)

I mean, forget about the Girl Next Door; Jenna looks like the Housewife Next Door. And not MILF-style, either. That dress was a horrible choice for her complexion — and speaking of complexion, have you ever heard of a tanning salon, Jenna? They’re open even in winter. And if you’re going to wear that awful drape of a dress, you cannot wear dark red nail polish.

And I’m trying to figure out in what decade that hair would have been appropriate, and the answer is never. The decade of never, Jenna.

Plus she looks absolutely miserable to be there.

Please don’t fire me. :)

Jenna Fischer on Red Carpet for Walk Hard Premiere Jenna Fischer on Red Carpet for Walk Hard Premiere

So That’s What He Looks Like!

Sacha Baron Cohen No Costume Out of Character at Sweeney Todd Press Conference

Sacha Baron Cohen makes a rare out-of-character appearance at the press conference for Sweeney Todd.

He’s a cutie!!!

I know he’s not gorgeous in the traditional Brad Pitt sense, but there’s something absolutely adorable about him. Then again, I’m a total sucker for tall, geeky Jewish guys. What can I say? Isla Fisher is a very lucky girl.

Sacha Baron Cohen No Costume Out of Character at Sweeney Todd Press Conference Sacha Baron Cohen No Costume Out of Character at Sweeney Todd Press Conference

Scott Weiland Formally Charged with DUI

Scott Weiland Charged with DUI

Scott Weiland was formally charged today with driving under the influence of drugs and refusing a chemical test that is required by law.

Weiland faces a “maximum penalty of one year county jail and a $1,000 fine, and a minimum penalty eight days in jail,” in light of his prior conviction and refusal to take a drug test,” Los Angeles City Attorney spokesman Frank Mateljan said in a statement.

Scott will be in court tomorrow for the arraignment.

Old alcoholic rockers getting DUIs is so boring.

How long until Miley Cyrus gets her drivers license?

Wine in a Can!

Claaaaaaaaaassy!

The newest ridiculous thing Paris Hilton’s hawking is Rich Prosecco, a white wine in what looks to be a gold Red Bull can.

How sophisticated!

My company softball team used to drink wine out of a bag during our games. Like, they actually make bags of wine. With spigots. That was awesome. Our team was called The Swingers. We never once won a game, because the stupid referees decided the winners based on who got people around the bases instead of who was drunker. Otherwise we would have been league champions many times over. Drinking wine out of a bag is way cooler than drinking wine out of a stupid gold can.

Anyway, check out Par-Par’s commercials for the junk.