Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Britney’s assistant got served with a subpoena from K-Fed. [Cele|bitchy]

Season Two of The Hills is now on DVD. [popbytes]

The entire Jolie-Pitt clan checks out a Chicago museum. How very wholesome! [Celebslam]

Now I understand why Erykah Badu usually wears a wrap of some sort on her head. [Bossip]

Amy Winehouse never actually made it to rehab. She’s waiting until her drug and alcohol problem gets serious, I suppose. [Yeeeah!]

Paris Hilton’s still advertising her cheap-ass hair extensions. [Agent Bedhead]

Brad Garrett doesn’t want the world to think of him as a racist; he needs to make it clear that he’s actually a violent racist. [The Blemish]

American Idol Contestant Goes into Labor While Auditioning

American Idol Contestant Goes into Labor While Auditioning

The show must go on, I guess.

A woman auditioning for American Idol in Texas last Monday went into labor while singing for the judges. Antoria Gillon, 20, wasn’t actually due until August 9, so she thought it was totally reasonable for her to wait in line for 16 hours and go through with the audition process.

“I felt something over my body when I was walking,” she said. “I knew right away what it was. I was singing, and the judge stopped and asked if I was OK, and I said, ‘I just want to finish my song.’”

An ambulance pulled up and everyone urged her to get in. “I said, ‘Well, I haven’t gotten my golden ticket yet,’ ” she said. She finished singing, got the “golden ticket,” and went off to the hospital, where she delivered her second child, a healthy baby boy.

So what’d she name the kid? Jamil Labarron Idol McCowan. Which I’m sure will be a really fun reminder for the rest of her life when she doesn’t make it to the finals.

Kevin Federline’s Services No Longer Needed by Anyone

Kevin Federline Role Cut from Keanu Reeves Film The Night Watchman

Hopefully he does end up getting more custody of his kids, because they seem to be the only ones who have a use for Kevin Federline these days.

Federline was supposed to have a small role in the 2008 film The Night Watchman, starring Keanu Reeves and Hugh Laurie, but his part was cut, and he wasn’t informed by his manager, who clearly considers him a really valuable client. So he actually showed up on set, only to be embarrassingly informed that his services were no longer needed.

Didn’t something like this happen to Drama on Entourage a couple months ago?

“He only had a very small role,” says a source. “However, he was fired from the film and his manager didn’t tell him. Kevin found out when he turned up for a wardrobe call.”

Hey, at least he showed up for the call. That’s more than can be said for his ex-wife most of the time.

Christina Applegate Now Officially Divorced

Christina Applegate Divorced from Husband Johnathon Schaech

Kelly Bundy is back on the market, boys!

Kelly and her husband, actor Johnathon Schaech, have been separated since November 2005, and Schaech filed for divorce in December 2006. The divorce was finalized on Friday in an LA court.

Schaech was awarded more than $1.5 million in bank accounts and a 2001 Mercedes-Benz S500. Christina scored $7.5 mil in bank accounts, a 2006 Lexus, and two of the couple’s LA residences. I think it’s clear who won.

Joe Francis! We’ve Missed You!

joe_francis1.jpg

It’s been awhile since we’ve heard from our favorite exploitative rapist around these parts. Joe Francis is still in jail but back in the press, this time speaking out against Hugh Hefner for failing to support him while he’s in a Reno, Nevada jail for using underage girls in a sexual performance.

“Hugh Hefner was arrested in 1963 for a similar offense and pursued by law enforcement for decades. It’s sad how quickly he forgets,” said Francis in an interview from the slammer. “What I am going through now is exactly what Hugh Hefner went though, and what Larry Flynt went through, and I will prevail, because I’ve done nothing wrong.”

In an interview on Larry King Live in May, Hefner was asked what he thought about Francis and his predicament. “I’m not a fan,” he said, “because I think it’s [exploitative], and I don’t think he’s a very nice guy . . . I don’t see any parallels [between Francis' work and Playboy]. . . What sets the magazine apart is it really is a lifestyle publication, you know, with good fiction and good articles . . . It doesn’t have much to do with what he’s doing.”

Francis faces up to 40 years in prison if he’s convicted on four felony charges. While Playboy has been accused of using underage girls in sexual performance, Joe Francis took it a few steps further. First, he was sentenced to contempt of court by a Florida judge after launching into a two-minute profanity-laced diatribe during his mediations with the accusers, and he revoked an agreed-upon settlement (Playboy settled out of court with their accusers). He then attempted to bribe a guard for a bottle of water in jail, and was subsequently found to have smuggled drugs into his cell. So his case is a little different than Hef’s, and I hope he serves all forty of those years.