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6Gossip Fodder in Training

Abigail Breslin Leaving the Ivy, Pictures, Photos

Here’s little Abigail Breslin leaving the Ivy last night.

I don’t understand what is on her arms.

At first I was like, “Oh my gosh! Did she break her wrist?!” and then I was like, “Oh, no, those things are supposed to be cool.”

Whatever. I still like her better than Dakota Fanning.

April 15, 2008 at 12:29 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Abigail Breslin

8Ashlee Simpson Doesn’t Quite Deny Pregnancy Rumors

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When asked by MTV News’ Kim Stolz (I love that Kim Stolz has a career now) about her possible pregnancy, Ashlee responded with this:

“I just think it’s an inappropriate question to ask any woman. For me, that’s something that I didn’t ever want to respond to, because I think it’s an inappropriate question. Some things, you want to keep personal, and I think that when people deny [reports that they're pregnant], it’s probably because it’s something they want to keep personal.”

This is a far cry from the flat-out denial we got from Pete.

So either she is pregnant, and just doesn’t want to make an announcement until she’s through her first trimester, or Papa Joe’s whispering in her ear all like, “Ride this shit out, baby. Tons of publicity!”

Also: I love how having babies out of wedlock is totally the new black.

April 15, 2008 at 12:24 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Ashlee Simpson

8Oh, Ivana Trump’s Fourth Marriage Is Definitely Going to Last Forever!

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Extra has obtained a transcript of a phone conversation between Ivana Trump and — who else? — the cops. It was recorded on March 17, less than a month before her wedding, and includes this line: “What’s going on is that I have a boyfriend which I want to leave my home and he called the police before and he’s abusive … He got, he got pissed off and I need him out of this house.”

Ivana and the dispatcher then chat a bit about their dogs, she continues to demand the police show up to remove her abusive boyfriend, and then the cops show up and the call ends.

You can read the whole thing here.

This bodes really well for this marriage.

April 15, 2008 at 10:28 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Ivana Trump

6A Match Made in Heaven

Pamela Bach and New Boyfriend Rik Mendoza, TMZ Videographer, Pictures, Photos

Remember Pamela Bach? David Hasselhoff’s drug-addicted, fame-whoring, cheeseburger-tape-peddling ex-wife?

Her new boyfriend is Rik Mendoza. He’s a videographer for TMZ. He also appears to be around 4-5 months pregnant.

See that bill she’s holding in her hands? One of them is clearly paying the other to be in this relationship. But I honestly can’t figure out which one it is.

April 15, 2008 at 6:13 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Pamela Bach

24Rob Lowe Can Expose Himself to Me Anytime

Lowe’s 24-year-old former nanny, Jessica Gibson, is accusing Rob Lowe of sexually harrassing her in an exciting variety of ways.

She also says Lowe’s wife, Sheryl, would walk around the house naked, make crude comments, and discuss she and Lowe’s sex life with the nanny.

Her attorney is Gloria Allred, of course.

One of Gibson’s claims is that Lowe “placed his hand inside Gibson’s pants” several times.

Okay, if this is what’s involved with being a nanny for Rob Lowe, bring it on. I’m so in.

April 15, 2008 at 6:06 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Robe Lowe

45The Marilyn Monroe Sex Tape?

Marilyn Monroe in White Bathing Suit, Pictures, Photos

I swear to you, if they had video cameras in the caveman era, we’d have footage of caveman celebrities giving blow jobs. Did they have celebrities in the caveman era? I bet they did, but they were probably, like, warrior heroes or something. I bet they’d've made videos of their warrior heroes clubbing women and dragging them off to have sex. And trying to shove, like, warrior wine canisters up their vaginas. You think kinkiness is a modern world thing? I bet not. I bet some of those ancient caveman “artifacts” they have in museums were up a vagina at some point in time. Why do I think like this? I’m so weird.

Anyway.

The New York Post is reporting that there may be a Marilyn Monroe sex tape in circulation. It shows Marilyn performing oral sex on a man whose face is outside the camera frame.

I guess the original was confiscated by the FBI (Seriously? The FBI can confiscate sex tapes? Could they just, like, confiscate Paris Hilton? And redact most parts of her? Please?), but an illegal copy was made years ago, and recently sold on the black market for $1.5 million. The buyer is an unidentified man known only as a “wealthy New York businessman.”

Oh, you know this is Donald Trump.

Says the man who brokered the deal: “He said he’s just going to lock it up. He said, ‘I’m not going to make a Paris Hilton out of her. I’m not going to sell it, out of respect.’”

This is such bullshit. You know what this is? This is the best way to get new clients in the history of wealthy New York businessmen. You know this dude’s all cold-calling people and being like, “Hey, sign this deal with me, and I’ll have you over for a screening of the Marilyn Blow Job tape.”

It’s soooo Donald Trump.

Side note: I LOVE this picture of Marilyn. You know why? Because she looks like she weighs about what I weigh. And she was STILL a sex symbol. Love it!

April 14, 2008 at 11:36 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Marilyn Monroe