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22The Graziano Family Is Threatening the Hogan Family

Really?

What took them so long?

Clearwater police are investigating threatening phone calls made by a member of John Graziano’s family to the family of Terry Bollea, also known as Hulk Hogan, according to Clearwater police spokesman Doug Matthews.

Matthews could not say which member of the Graziano family allegedly made the threats; nor could he say which member of the Bollea family received them.

Morris “Sandy” Weinberg, an attorney for Nick Bollea, 17, who is serving a jail sentence on a charge of reckless driving with serious driving bodily injury, confirmed that the police had listened to the threatening voicemails.

“Does the family take it seriously?” he asked. “Yes, they do.”

This is probably related to Hulk Hogan going on Larry King and talking about how the crash that left him permanently vegetative was really the best thing for John Graziano. But if I were the Graziano family, I would have started the threatening a long long time ago, like when the Hogan family started blabbing about how this is John’s own fault since he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt. Like, yeah, Hulk, John should have been wearing a seatbelt, and your teenage son should have been supervised and sober and not driving a ridiculously souped-up vehicle that you paid for after drinking beer you bought him. But we all make mistakes.

June 15, 2008 at 12:04 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

12Kid Rock Hospitalized with “Dehydration”

What? It’s June, people. It’s very important to stay well-hydrated. Clearly Kid Pebble did not pack enough juice boxes when he partied into the wee hours of the morning at Central London’s Whisky Mist nightclub, because he failed to appear as scheduled on stage at the Download Festival the next day. He had been hospitalized for “dehydration.”

Dehydration was a very serious summer issue in Arizona, where I grew up. We were lectured again and again about the importance of drinking water all day long, and we were always given juice boxes and water bottles wherever we went. And let me tell you, even as small children running around outside all day, we managed to keep ourselves hydrated. I lived in Phoenix, Arizona for twenty-one years and I never knew a single person who was actually hospitalized for dehydration.

I did, however, know plenty of people who were hospitalized for alcohol poisoning and drug overdoses.

I’m just saying.

Oh, and while he was in London, Kid Pebble gave an interview to The Guardian, and he had this to say about his failed relationship with Pamela Anderson: “I touched the stove, it’s fucking hot, I don’t want to touch it any more.”

June 14, 2008 at 11:51 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Kid Rock

37David Letterman Rips Spencer Pratt a New One

My love for David Letterman knows no bounds.

When I first heard Spencer Pratt was going on Letterman’s show, I was like “Really? Why?” And it turned out that it was so that David Letterman could make an ass of him.

Brilliant. I encourage you to watch every minute.

June 14, 2008 at 11:02 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

24Well, Britney Spears Couldn’t Have Made This Worse

Here’s the video for the new Pussycat Dolls song, “When I Grow Up.” Britney Spears filmed a cameo for it, and it was cut. I really don’t understand why. Not even Britney Spears could have lowered the level of class in this video.

It’s kind of even a stretch to call this a song. It’s more like a chant you make up with your bunkmates at Girl Scout Camp or some shit.

Look, people can talk all the shit they want about bloggers, but at least I’m not gyrating on faux construction sites for a living. I mean, really.

June 14, 2008 at 10:51 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

13There Is Nothing Going on So Here’s a Photo of Abigail Breslin

Everyone’s hanging out with their fathers this weekend. This includes publicists, paparazzi and the rest of the media machine, so we don’t have anything much going on.

Here’s Abby Breslin at the premiere of Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. I like this photo because it makes her look about two feet tall.

June 14, 2008 at 10:32 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Abigail Breslin

21Snoop Dogg Is Married?

I guess he is, because his wife was arrested for DUI in Fullerton this weekend.

Her name is Shante Broadus, and she’s been married to Snoop since 1997. She was taken to jail in Fullerton and released. There was no one else in the car.

Look at this chick! She’s been doing a lot more than drinking and driving. That is some serious crack-face. You’d think Snoop would have ditched her ass long ago.

June 14, 2008 at 10:26 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Snoop Dogg