Today's Evil Beet Gossip

A Statement from Lindsay Lohan

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“It is clear to me that my life has become completely unmanageable because I am addicted to alcohol and drugs.

Recently, I relapsed and did things for which I am ashamed. I broke the law, and today I took responsibility by pleading guilty to the charges in my case. No matter what I said when I was under the influence on the day I was arrested, I am not blaming anyone else for my conduct other than myself. I thank God I did not injure others. I easily could have.

I very much want to be healthy and gain control of my life and career and have asked for medical help in doing so. I am taking these steps to improve my life. Luckily, I am not alone in my daily struggle and I know that people like me have succeeded. Maybe with time it will become easier. I hope so.”

Awww …

I’m amazed by how easily Lindsay got off here, especially when you consider the super-stern sentence Paris Hilton had to deal with in an equally high-profile case. Both had lots of money and excellent attorneys. Lohan’s crimes were more serious than Hilton’s. So how’d Lindsay get off so easy?

Of course, it has something to do with the judge. The judge in Hilton’s case was out for blood. But I think it also has a lot to do with public perception. People hate Paris, but they’re rooting for Lindsay. She’s obviously in a struggle with an awful disease, and I think the public feels like she’s more accessible and more vulnerable than Paris. We care about Lindsay like she was a friend, a daughter or a sister. I don’t think anyone really wanted to see her do a lot of time in jail, whereas we were all rooting like crazy to see Paris do some hard time. The attitude toward Lindsay during this time has been almost tangibly different from when Paris was in a similar sitch.

GET BETTER LINDSAY!!!

Lindsay Lohan Will Do Jail Time! (But Not Much)

It’s not the multiple years people had speculated she might do.

It’s not even the 40+ days Paris Hilton got for driving on a suspended license.

No, Lindsay’s plea deal stipulates that, for her second DUI in less than a year, she will do around four days in jail. It’s the Nicole Richie sentence.

She just struck a deal by pleading no contest to two counts of DUI (driving with a .08 blood alcohol level or higher). By law, Lohan becomes a second offender (with two DUIs) and must serve a minimum of four days in jail.

Lohan also pled no contest to two counts of being under the influence of a controlled substance (two separate incidents) and reckless driving — all misdemeanors.

The judge just said Lohan will serve 36 months probation and attend an alcohol education program for 18 months for the first DUI.

Looks like the Paris Hilton thing was just a blip on the horizon. Celebrity justice is back in full effect.

Justin Timberlake’s Movie Career Marches Forward

Justin Timberlake to Star in the Love Guru Opposite Mike Myers and Jessica Alba

After two relatively ill-received attempts at live acting in film (Alpha Dog and Black Snake Moan), Justin Timberlake is hoping the third time’s the charm, and has signed on to play opposite Mike Myers in the upcoming The Love Guru.

Storyline revolves around an American (Myers) raised by gurus on an Ashram in India. Returning to the U.S. to make a fortune in the self-help biz, his unorthodox methods are put to the test when he provides marriage counseling to a hockey star. The wife of the hockey star retaliates by starting to date a rival player (Timberlake).

The movie also stars Jessica Alba, so I really think this has potential in the gossip world.

Alba’s been spotted recently with her on-again-off-again boyfriend, Cash Warren, but it’s obvious the two are on shaky ground. Relationships with Jessica Biel have a four-to-six-month shelf live, so you know that’s going to be winding down soon. I smell hot co-star sex.

Will There Be a Ferris Bueller Sequel???

A Ferris Bueller Sequel?

Ooooh, this could be so very good or so very, very bad.

There is a finished script being shopped in Hollywood for a sequel to the 1986 teen classic.

Titled “Ferris Bueller 2: Another Day Off,” the movie places Ferris on the eve of his 40th birthday. The script was written by Rick Rapier, a screenwriter based in Arizona. Rapier provided “Stuck in the ’80s” with an exclusive and complete copy of the 106-page script.

Is it good? I thought it was a blast. I read it in a single afternoon and was impressed with the care Rapier took with the original story and characters. The story has the same feel, humor and pace as the 1986 movie, which should please hard-core Ferris fans.

The movie fast-forwards Ferris’ life about 20 years. In the years since high school, Ferris has turned his carefree “Life Moves Pretty Fast” motto into a motivational self-help career — think Tony Robbins, only with a beret and sweater vest. His best friend Cameron is still at his side, managing his massive business.

But despite his phenomenal success, Ferris is a bit distracted on his 40th birthday (which, considering his massive fame, is being watched on pay-per-view TV by millions of devoted fans). He decides to take the day off, sending Cameron, his business associates and family into a frenzy.

The screenwriter hopes John Hughes will get back into the director’s chair, and that the original cast will come back for the sequel. They want to get Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Jennifer Grey and, of course, Ben Stein, whose character is now an airline gate representative.

Good idea?

Bad idea?

What do you think?