Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Okay, Jessica Sierra, You Win. I Care About This Story.

Jessica Sierra Police Report

We haven’t been covering the story of Jessica Sierra around here because I think it’s boring as fuck and I don’t know who could possibly still care about this bitch.

But the little hooker went and offered a cop fellatio — saying “I’ll suck your dick if you don’t take me to jail” — and, when he refused that darling offer, she called him the N-word.

So now I care, because this little bitch deserves to be called out for the racist slut that she is.

So there you have it, folks: Jessica Sierra is a racist, drunk little slut.

You can read the full police report here.

Quotables

Katherine Heigl Says Knocked Up Was Sexist

“[It's] a little sexist. It paints the women as shrews, as humorless and uptight, and it paints the men as goofy, fun-loving guys. It was hard for me to love the movie.”

Katherine Heigl discusses Knocked Up in Vanity Fair.

Also: about her Grey’s character’s relationship with married O’Malley: “It was a ratings ploy. I’m trying to figure her out and keep her real.”

Sometimes I have to remember that I love Katherine Heigl and hate Izzie. It’s not her fault Izzie sucks so hard.

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo: Total PDA

Jessica Simpson and Tony Romo

Jess and Tony are still going strong, sucking face at Cacee Cobb’s 30th birthday party at Teddy’s.

At first, the singer – wearing a form-fitting black dress and spike heels – and her new beau kept things low-key in a secluded booth. But as the night wore on, the two were spotted with their arms around each other. Then, after a few seconds of conversation, they leaned in for a kiss – right in the middle of the crowded club.

Also, I guess Cacee’s still going strong with Scrubs star Donald Faison. Cute!!!

Hey, Guess Who Totally Lied When She Said She’d Never Posed Nude?

Heather Mills Nude Naked Nipples Tits  Breasts Pictures, Photos
Can you guess? Can you?

HELLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOO, HEATHER MILLS!!!!

Thank you for finally being interesting!!!!

News of the World unearthed these photos. They haven’t released the fully nude ones yet, but I’m sure they’ll surface eventually, and we’ll have them for you when they do.

Uncensored version is after the jump.

Update: We’ve got the fully nude shots here.

Read More

If At All Possible, I Would Like Beyonce Knowles to Give Birth for Me Whenever I Choose to Have a Kid

Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock

I mean, for reals, people, those are birthing hips. This is a woman who was made to accidentally pop out a kid while she’s taking a shit, pull the baby out of the toilet, wipe, and get on with her day. Like I’m pretty sure I could emerge, at age 25, from that woman’s uterus — while clutching my television set and, you know, my car — and we would both be in pretty good shape afterwards.

Jesus, those are hips.

Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock Beyonce Knowles Hips at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock Beyonce Knowles Hips Green Dress at Condé Nast Media Group presents 2007 Movies Rock

It Was a Really Shitty Weekend at the Box Office

While the weekend after Thanksgiving is always pretty bad, this one was especially awful. It was Hollywood’s worst in ten years.

Among all releases, Enchanted was the only movie to top $10M.

Jessica Alba’s new flick, Awake, snored through the weekend to the tune of $6M. That’s pathetic. Hopefully they’ll put some shots of her tits on the DVD and recoup their losses.

I wonder if this has anything to do with the late-night talk shows being off the air due to the writer’s strike. It sure makes it harder for studios to promote their films.

Go to the movies, people!