“I am married to David Jones. David Bowie and David Jones are two totally different people. I did not want to get involved with a rock star. No way. It is not a sane thing to do but David changed my mind. He wooed me. … I remember once the laces on my trainers came undone and David was down on his knees in the middle of the street tying them for me. I thought to myself, ‘This one’s a keeper.’ He’s not an enigma at home!”
So, alright. Are we all in agreement around here that David Bowie is among the world’s greatest people ever? Because if we’re not, I suppose we’re going to have some trouble seeing eye to eye throughout the rest of this article.
And how lucky is the gorgeous Iman? Jeez. Married to the legend, the man, David Bowie for over two decades now? I wonder if she ever makes him sing the corny songs from Labyrinth. I mean, I know if I were David Bowie’s wife, that’s what I’d do.
You guys watch TV, right? Okay: Are TNT and USA in some kind of Sisyphean competition to see which network can have the freakiest Magritte-style promos? (Imean, really.)
And what is with this photo of Kyra Sedgwick? Can you even call it a photo?
Here she is, airbrushed within the last spindly inch of her life, in a promotional still for The Closer. Poor saintly Kyra has been snipped, cropped, and dropshadowed, but worst of all—and, granted, you might have to adjust your monitor a little to see this—what has the artist done to Kyra’s dress? Specifically, in the bosom area: it’s as if someone painted two errant jockstraps where boobs would go.
Seriously. Look again. THIS IS A BREACH OF HUMAN ANATOMY.