Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Samantha Ronson Ordered to Pay Everyone’s Damn Legal Fees (Including Her Own)

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Poor Samantha Ronson.

Not only was she ordered to pay Perez Hilton’s legal fees after her defamation lawsuit against him was dismissed, now her own lawyers are suing her for non-payment.

She’s being sued for nearly $165K in unpaid legal fees.

PLUS she has to pay Perez around $100K for HIS legal fees.

Someone better get her fingers off Lindsay Lohan’s clit and onto the turntable.

Work, bitch! Pay them bills!

Britney’s “Illness” Explained

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“She’s sick, both physically and high anxiety. Millions of press outside. It’s too much,” says Britney pal Sam Lufti in an email.

One of the commenters on here suggested that I think it’s a good thing for Britney to have custody of her kids.

I do not think that.

But I’m fascinated by how little she seems to care. I would probably run into a burning building to save one of my cats. I don’t have (human) kids, but I’d imagine I’d be able to brave hordes of paparazzi — sick or not — if it would help me to keep custody of them.

She braves hundreds of paparazzi on her daily coffee run.

How can she care so little about her own children?

Or is she just trying to postpone the inevitable?

Wanna Hear the New Janet Jackson Track?

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Z100 is streaming “Feedback”.

Okay, you guys, is it just me, or does this sound like it comes straight off Britney Spears’ new album???

I wonder if they had some of the same songwriters. The vibe is very similar.

Also, is it just me or does this song contain the lyric “I’m heavy like a first-day period”????

Because what today’s music scene is really missing is more menstruation analogies.

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!

BREAKING: 8000 People Who’ve Never Met Jessica Alba Think She’ll Make a Good Mom

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I love shit like this.

I run polls on here, but it’s always stuff you guys are remotely qualified to answer. Questions like, “Who’s hotter?” or “Would you go to a male brothel?” or “What is a chode?

I have no idea where Us Magazine gets off polling its readers on whether Jessica Alba will make a good mom.

But they think she will.

Okay, okay, I have one for you guys:

Is Britney Spears a good mom?
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Britney Missed Her Deposition!!!

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She is TOTALLY going to lose these kids!!

Like, completely!!

Britney claimed she had some sort of medical condition.

She was certainly feeling well enough to dye her hair dark. These pics are from early Wednesday morning.

Wow.

She is going to completely lose those kids.

Jesus, Brit, get it together.

Image via WENN