Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Stupid Pictures of Paris and Nicky in Japan, Because It’s That Slow a News Day

Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos

I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this.

Seriously, I’ve been sitting on these pictures all morning like, “I really don’t want to run these. Please let something happen. I really don’t want to have to run these.” But nothing has happened, guys, so I’m sorry.

Here’s Paris and Nicky tooling around Japan. They’re promoting some line of handbags and, tragically, helping to choose the new Miss Japan. Which is totally appropriate, because if anyone’s in a position to select the woman who best represents the culture and background of Japan, it’s someone who thinks a kamikaze is a shot they serve at Les Deux.

In fact, I am so annoyed with this whole story that I almost didn’t notice that Paris is dressed like a 5-year-old on Easter. I mean, there’s fashion-forward, and then there’s pink fucking tights, Paris.

And I like how all the pictures from this event are taken from, like, two feet off the ground, looking up. Are the Japanese really that short?

Okay, I’ll stop now. Back to hunting for stories.

Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos

Quotables

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‘It could all go away tomorrow if I’m at a club drinking like an asshole. Someone like Lindsay Lohan’s personality is [more] famous than her performance. You’ve got to maintain some mystery. Part of me wants to go out and see my peers. But if I go to a club and get my picture in the press, then I am that young Hollywood asshole. That would shatter my world…. There’s no way you get Tom Hanks’ career without thinking about this stuff. Everyone turns 21. Not everyone gets to be in Indiana Jones.”

Shia LaBeouf, in June 2007, to Entertainment Weekly. Shia was arrested this weekend for drunkenly trespassing at a Chicago Walgreens.

Looks Like Britney’s #1

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Congratulations to Britney Spears, whose unique approach to marketing her album will land her the #1 spot on this week’s charts, selling between 325,000 and 350,000 albums this week. Which is a nice consolation prize after she’s basically lost custody of her children. These sales still pale in comparison to her earlier albums, but it was enough to inch out Carrie Underwood for the top position this week. It’s possible she’ll hold the #1 spot for the coming week, too, but then she’ll probably get slammed by Alicia Keys’ Nov 13 release.

So.

Record labels, take note!

It’s not particularly cost-effective to schlep your talent around the country to appear on talk shows and radio when you want to promote an album. No, no. That’s way too much work for way too little result. Instead, just send your client out to get wasted every night in the midst of a heavily publicized child custody battle. That seems to do the trick. Extra points for some manner of umbrella violence.

She’s Come Undone

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I love it when Jessica Simpson gets a case of the fuck-its. It’s like every now and then she snaps and says, “You know what? I just don’t fucking care anymore,” and then we get pictures like this. It’s wonderful.

Here she is acting like a drunken ass in front of the AP’s photographers in NYC on Monday night. Check out all the people around her trying to make sure she doesn’t fall down. Loves it.

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