Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Always a Winner

Carrie Underwood Wins CMA for Best Female Vocalist and Best Single, Pictures, Photos

Taylor Swift Wins CMA for Best Newcomer, Pictures, Photos

Congratulations to Carrie Underwood, who won the CMAs for best female vocalist and single of the year (“Before He Cheats”). I bet she’s gonna have some crazy award-winner sex with hottie boyfriend Chace Crawford tonight. Those awards actually look like they’d make some pretty damn kinky sex toys. Hmm.

Underwood lookalike Taylor Swift, age 17, won for best newcomer. She’s gorgeous! Someone get that girl to Les Deux, pronto!!! There’s no way she can get into enough trouble in Nashville.