Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sam Ronson Gets a DUI, is Officially Just as Big a Loser as Lindsay Lohan

photo of sam ronson drunk dui mugshot pictures photos pics

I know there’s, like, different degrees of loserness, and Sam‘s got a lot of friggery to get ahead of Lindsay in this category, but she eeks a little bit closer and closer every day!

I’m not one to celebrate another’s misfortune (not that, you know, DUIs are a mere “misfortune”; it’s not as if she woke from a sleepless dream to say “Oops! OMG! I’m drunk and I’m driving! My bad!”) but being that I like(d) Lindsay a whole lot more than I like(d) Sam during their relationship, I am positively reveling in this news. Sam, though she seemed to try to help Lindsay on the path to sobriety during points in their relationship, always appeared very judgmental and holier-than-thou. “I’m Sam Ronson – look at my heroin arms and cancer patient haircut. I am one painfully sober bitch and I’m letting you know that I just barely tolerate you.” You know?

Also, Sam didn’t just get a DUI – she got a RECKLESS DUI. The reason she was pulled over to begin with was because she was speeding. It all went down somewhere outside of Las Vegas, where she’d been playing a show the previous night. She was pulled over at 10:30 the following morning with a BAC of .08.

Way to go, Sam. Hypocriticism looks super on you, girl.

JLo ‘Likeness’ Not All That Likeable

Faux Jennifer Lopez giving the stink-eye at Tussauds August 1

I’m sorry, Jennifer Lopez. I’m really, really sorry. I’m not sure what I did, but I swear I will never do it again. Please, please stop looking at me like that.

Wait, what? This is just a wax figure? The Real JLo isn’t angry at me? Oh, thank God.

Madame Tussauds Hollywood “relaunched” their wax figure of Jennifer Lopez yesterday; even the replica looked annoyed about attending the event (via Idolator).

Love It or Leave It: Pamela Anderson Is A Lacy Mess

A photo of Pamela Anderson

I’ve never known a time when Pamela Anderson was hot. I’m not sure if I was too young when Baywatch was big or, like, if I was alive or just didn’t care about boobs then or what, but to me, Pamela has always been a scary, trashy lady. And this little ensemble does nothing to change my mind.

The askew straps. The dumb shoes. The entire outfit. Nothing Pam is doing right here is working even a little bit. But you want to know what the worst part is? The crazy eyes. Look at those things. If you lean in real close, or enlarge your screen size or whatever, you can see all the troubles in the world. Who knows, maybe that one strap is falling down because she has the weight of the world on her shoulders. Regardless, Pam’s tale is a tragic one, and this tight little mess of lace doesn’t do anything to make it better.