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18Paris Hilton Got Drunk and Fell Into Some Bushes

Eh. It happens to the best of us.

June 21, 2008 at 2:36 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Paris Hilton

20Smoochie Smoochie!

Ellen Degeneres and hottie girlfriend Portia de Rossi share a hot on-stage kiss at the Daytime Emmy Awards.


June 21, 2008 at 2:35 am by Evil Beet

31Not Really News – But Taylor Hicks is Boring.

I love a few things about this story. First off, I love that WireImage has the EXCLUSIVE look at Taylor Hicks in Grease. That’s like being the least alcoholic Real-Worlder. You’re not accomplishing much there.

Secondly, I love making fun of Taylor Hicks because he is unbelievably boring in real life. I met him right after he won Idol. Then I fell asleep. He speaks in one word clips and he doesn’t seem so “clever”. There’s just nothing engaging about him. I’m guessing this is why he hasn’t transitioned into anything more than “past Idol winner.”

It was pretty sad because I wanted us to be best friends given that I’d voted for him. But I suppose that’s what you get for flying too close to the sun.

Studdard on the other hand is top notch – a total baller. Now THAT’S an exclusive people.

Here are more ridiculous pictures.

June 20, 2008 at 1:14 pm by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Taylor Hicks

7Mario Lopez Does Cash Cab Just Like Us

Oh wait. That’s just a normal cab. Do you realize it’s been almost 20 years since Saved by the Bell started? That blows my mind.

Also, and on a completely unrelated note, I’d like to tell you about the movie WANTED starring Angelina Jolie. Ready?

It’s really good.

Whew. I just wanted to get that off my chest. I saw it a few nights back with my super secret hook-up connection that I also use for meth. So let’s get the buzz started people. I’m not a corporate shill. You can trust me. Leo has actually peed on me… which I’m hoping makes me extremely credible to loyal Beet readers.

June 20, 2008 at 12:53 pm by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Uncategorized

14Kristen Bell Loves Booze and Italian Fountains.

No, not really. She’s filming a little movie called “When in Rome” with Josh Duhamel. Has the universe made a decision yet as to whether she’s allowed to be a movie star? I’m firmly undecided, she seems a lot like a bunch of other actresses. My money is still on Heigl because she’s mean like a snake.

June 20, 2008 at 9:49 am by Spiteful Lars

7Happy Birthday Paula!

Paula Abdul just turned 46. Here she is leaving STK in Los Angeles last night (Note: don’t worry, she’s not driving).

To celebrate how about a lovely music video involving Ms. Abdul and a rapping cartoon cat? Ah yes, this takes me back.

June 20, 2008 at 9:34 am by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Paula Abdul