Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Ethan Hawke is the latest celeb to be banging the nanny. [INO]

Nice to see Amy Winehouse has really pulled her act together. Wandering the streets of London at 5 am. Healthy. [Celebslam]

Madonna’s stiffing her kids on Christmas. [Celebitchy]

Paris went a little overboard with the collagen injections. [FListed]

Who was named the Most Beautiful Black Man Alive? [Bossip]

The freaky-looking redheaded model, Lily Cole, proves the carpet matches the drapes. [Drunken Stepfather]

In case you haven’t seen Kate Moss’s tits this week … [Ninja Dude]

Blake Lewis’s First Album Drops Tomorrow

Is everyone super-psyched?

Blake co-wrote all but one song on “Audio Day Dream,” out Tuesday on Arista Records, and is already plotting a remix album to add hip-hop and electronica flavors that he favors but wasn’t able to include.

“I just call myself a communicator. And all’s I wanna do is communicate my art,” he told the AP. “And now with this album, I get to communicate myself wholeheartedly without any hiccups or speed bumps, like ‘American Idol’ has, you know? Theme weeks!”

The first single from the album, “Break Anotha,” is included here.

Brandon Davis Has a Plan

Brandon Davis Smokes 10 Cigarettes After Doing a Line of Cocaine

You know, Gatecrasher ran this as a blind item, and I was going to do the same, but you know what? Fuck that. There’s nothing blind about this.

Which oily celebrity hanger-on, who has been through rehab, is telling friends he’s found a new way to pace himself when he’s doing drugs? The bicoastal bum says for every line of coke he snorts he smokes 10 cigarettes.

What. A. Genius.

This is an infallible plan.

You sure are going places, Brandon. Going places like rehab.

Britney Won’t Be Doing Another Rolling Stone Cover

Britney Spears Rolling Stone Cover

The poptart — who just violated her child custody agreement by getting wasted late Saturday night and then hanging out with her kids on Sunday (the agreement states that she cannot consume alcohol less than 12 hours before seeing the kids) — has pulled out of a possible Rolling Stone cover.

The train wreck, who hasn’t done much publicity for her new album, “Blackout,” besides her daily run to Starbucks to get photographed, has pulled the plug on a potential Rolling Stone cover, said an insider. Spears was close to signing a contract with editor and publisher Jann Wenner, to pose for the cover, but called off talks when the Wenner Media boss refused to promise her it would actually land on Rolling Stone instead of Us Weekly, said the insider. Last year, Nick Lachey was duped into believing Wenner’s promise of a Rolling Stone cover and was furious when he landed on Us instead. “It was going to be a good platform for her music to be taken seriously because it had been so long. But she refused to get screwed by Wenner,” said our source. “They kept negotiating, and it got nasty.” Spears has contacted Blender magazine, and a deal is being worked out for a cover there, said the source.

Okay, here’s my question: why is everyone giving Britney shit for failing to promote this album? I mean, is there anyone on this planet who doesn’t know Britney just released a new album? My grandpa knows. My great-aunt knows. My cats know. I’m confident that most of sub-Saharan Africa knows. The problem is just that people aren’t willing to pay money for it. It’s not like Britney’s going to go on the Carson Daly show and be like, “Hey, my name’s Britney Spears, and I just wanted to let you guys know I just dropped a new album. Yeah, yeah, for real. It’s called Blackout. Maybe you’ve heard of it?” and then everyone will rush out and buy it. I’m just saying.

Okay, Jessica Sierra, You Win. I Care About This Story.

Jessica Sierra Police Report

We haven’t been covering the story of Jessica Sierra around here because I think it’s boring as fuck and I don’t know who could possibly still care about this bitch.

But the little hooker went and offered a cop fellatio — saying “I’ll suck your dick if you don’t take me to jail” — and, when he refused that darling offer, she called him the N-word.

So now I care, because this little bitch deserves to be called out for the racist slut that she is.

So there you have it, folks: Jessica Sierra is a racist, drunk little slut.

You can read the full police report here.