Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Google’s Trying to Get Its Employees Laid

Google may seem like the perfect place to work if you’re a nerdy computer genius. You can be among lots of other nerdy computer geniuses. They have free gourmet food on site. Free massages. Dry-cleaning. Stock options. None of which is really doing a lot to help you get laid. But now Google’s taking steps to change all that, according to Page Six:

GOOGLE’S “media” soiree at its new Chelsea office on Oct. 3 is looking more like a singles mixer than a meet-and-greet with reporters. The invitation reads, “Please join us for a media cocktail party” to “meet Googlers in the know.” But many veteran media reporters for business and tech publications weren’t invited, while the fashionable, mostly female staffers at W and Women’s Wear Daily were. “It’s not a ‘media party,’ ” one invitee snickered. “It’s a party for horny tech nerds who want cute girls to show up.” Party organizer Anne Espiritu told us, “We are hosting an event for consumer and broadcast media.”

Sounds like fun!

Dancing With the “Stars”

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As you all know the T is a big fan of DWTS. I am in love with Apolo Anton Ohno and really last year his adorable mug kept me watching each week.

This year we have an interesting group of kids dancing for us…here is the list.

Mel B aka “Scary Spice”- Singer

Marie Osmond – Singer/Entertainer

Floyd Mayweather
- Heavyweight Boxing Champion

Helio Castronetes – Race Car Driver

Jennie Garth – Actress

Cameron Mathison – Actor, “All My Children”

Albert Reed – Model

Jane Seymour – Actress

Sabrina Bryan
– Actress, “Cheetah Girls”

Mark Cuban – Owner, Dallas Mavericks

Joise Maran – Model

Wayne Newton – Entertainer

I have met Cameron Mathison and he makes me super excited because ladies…he is a dreamboat. Mark Cuban should be amusing as he is always quite animated during Mavericks games. Jennie Garth fills the new “90210″ slot…I promise you next year we will have Gabrielle Carteris. The real shocker is Wayne Newton. He is of course going to be paired with some hottie dancer and stay through the competition longer than he should because he will be the loveable old guy. Mel B is a bit of a shocker since the Spice Girls are getting ready for their world tour but it should be some good free press for them.

DWTS premieres Monday Sept 4th 8/7c

Elton John Hates the World Wide Internets

Elton John is Occasionally Crazy

Personally, I love me some Elton John. I like “Tiny Dancer.” I like the entire Lion King soundtrack. Hell, I even like that “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me” duet he did with George Michael (and let me tell ya, I could get murdered for that if the wrong sort found out). But let’s face it, he’s probably descending slowly into madness.

(more after the jump)
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Nick Hogan’s Friend Still in Critical Condition in Hospital

While Owen Wilson’s in good condition, the friend of Nick Hogan who was injured in The Hulk’s son’s recent car crash — John Graziano — remains in very serious condition in a Florida hospital.

“John’s condition hasn’t changed since he arrived,” say sources inside the hospital.

Meanwhile, the Florida police are investigating other vehicles they think may have been involved in the accident.

How can a car be “involved” in an accident without actually being in the accident?

Drag-racing, people. Drag-racing.

“We suspect there may be others and we encourage them to come forward,” say the Florida police.

If this kid dies as a result of drag-racing — and I hope and pray he doesn’t — these kids are in deep, deep shit.

Blind Item!

WHICH wealthy bachelor who was living at the Peninsula got a pretty concierge at the hotel fired when her bosses found out they were having an affair? He took his business across the street to the St. Regis, where they continued their trysts

[source: Page Six]

Expect a TON of Owen Wilson Articles that Don’t Make Sense

Owen Wilson - The writing was on the wall!

Check out this madness from that bastion of journalism UsaToday. Wait, no don’t. I’ll break it down for you. Here’s the headline:

Suicide, depression are common in Wilson’s films

Ah yes, we’ve found a crack reporter on the case. Should we mention that Matt Damon played a demented killer in Talented Mr. Ripley? Or how about Ed Norton and obscene racism in American History X? Tom Cruise as a hitman in Collateral? No, nothing? Oh, I see… we’ve found a trend.

Here are the films that the article mentions along with my one second comeback:

  • Bottle Rocket (his first movie, filmed in college)
  • Rushmore (he is UNCREDITED in Rushmore)
  • The Royal Tenenbaums (well, at least he’s in this one, though it was Luke who attempted suicide in the movie)
  • The Life Aquatic With Steve Zissou (He’s looking for his dad…. uh, okay.)
  • The Darjeeling Limited (this film has not yet been released but I’m sure all the signs of Owen’s suicide attempt were there… if only we’d thought to look!!)

I only wish UsaToday had been on this case sooner. For the record, here are some other tragic films Owen has done.

  • Starsky and Hutch
  • Zoolander
  • Meet the Parents/Fockers (okay, you got me, these are pretty fucking depressing.)
  • Wedding Crashers
  • You, Me, and Dupree

So, yeah, the writing was definitely on the wall.

Here’s another genius comment from the article:

A look at Wilson’s collaborations with filmmaker Wes Anderson, which he has called his most personal films, are often comedic meditations on depression, alienation and suicide:

So, wait a sec… might it actually be Wes Anderson we should worry for? After all, he wrote and directed all those darned sad flicks. Someone get a team to his house, quick, before it’s too goddamn late!