Today's Evil Beet Gossip

There Are No Words

Miss Teen South Carolina’s list of topics to mention in her Q&A session during the Miss Teen USA pageant, regardless of the question:

1) The Iraq
2) South Africa
3) U.S. Americans
4) The Asian countries

Miss Teen South Carolina’s list of optional topics to mention in her Q&A during the Miss Teen USA pageant, should the question so incline her:

1) The glaring, and tragic, shortage of maps in this country.

Uh-Oh, Britney’s Being Investigated for Child Abuse

Britney Spears Being Investigated for Child Abuse

I don’t know how she could abuse those children.

She’s never with them! When would she find the time???

Via TMZ:

An unscheduled hearing was held today at L.A. County Superior Court. Present — Britney’s lawyer, Dennis Wasser, K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan and a lawyer from the Los Angeles County Counsel who is assigned to the dependency court.

We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.

A hearing in the custody case has been scheduled for September 4, which will be a follow up to today’s appearance.

The most recent pic we have of Britney is above, leaving a Beverly Hills tanning salon Sunday night. No kids around to abuse!

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Hulk Hogan’s Son Nearly Killed in Drag-racing Accident

Nick Hogan, Hulk Hogan’s Son, in Serious Drag Racing Car Accident

Just when you thought no one in the Hogan family could make a dumber decision than Brooke Hogan’s ass-pants, her brother Nick is there to prove us wrong.

Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick, who you might recognize from Hogan Knows Best, was nearly killed in a car accident on Sunday night in Clearwater, Florida. While no official statement has been made, many are assuming that the 17-year-old was drag-racing. He crashed his Toyota Supra around 7:30 pm, after losing control of the vehicle, hitting a raised median, and crashing into a palm tree.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

You can check out video of concerned Papa Hogan on the crash scene here.

His mother released the following statement:

“My son Nick and a friend were involved in a car accident last night. Nick suffered minor injuries and has been treated and released from the hospital. At this time, his friend, John Graziano remains hospitalized. Nick is currently at the hospital with John and his family. His sole concern is for the well being of his friend. On behalf of my family, we ask that your thoughts and prayers be with John and his loved ones.”

Nick is going to be in a LOT of trouble for this — he was recently cited in Florida for going nearly twice the speed limit, in a construction zone!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!