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11More of This ScoJo Mess

For those of you who are willing to exist in the same reality where Scarlett Johansson records an entire album of Tom Waits covers, we now have six of the album’s tracks streaming. Listen to them here.

The full album drops May 20, on which date President Bush will release his book of fart jokes, Paula Abdul will move into her position as the U.S. Drug Czar, Mary-Kate Olsen will defend her PhD thesis in comparative literature (full title: “Ethical and Aesthetic Elements in Sartre’s Roads to Freedom Vol. I Age of Reason and the Influence of Hemingway on this Novel”) and a young chimpanzee trained by Dakota and Elle Fanning will win the National Spelling Bee.

Me? I’ll be hiding in a storm shelter somewhere, waiting for the reality I know and love to return.

April 22, 2008 at 9:05 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

11Is That a Baby Bump, Nicole?

Nicole Kidman Baby Bump, Pictures, Photos

Either Nicole Kidman isn’t actually pregnant, or she is dead set on not letting us get even a half-decent shot of her baby bump.

She hasn’t even gained an ounce of weight since she announced her pregnancy. I refuse to believe that she’s actually knocked up until I see a full-on shot of that baby bump.

Here she is at the UN, discussing a new UNIFEM Campaign Against Violence Against Women.

Nicole Kidman Baby Bump

April 22, 2008 at 8:44 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

9Mama on the Move

Nicole Richie hits the streets of LA in an airplane-themed dress. Yeah, those are airplanes on the dress. And one of the airplanes says “Chanel” on its wing. I don’t understand it, but I kind of like it.

WHERE’S THE BABY, NICOLE????

[Image via Splash]

April 22, 2008 at 8:38 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

10Father/Daughter Time

Britney Spears and Father Jamie Go to the Bank, Pictures, Photos

Here’s Jamie Spears taking his daughter to the bank in LA.

I assume this is happening because Britney is currently legally unable to make any financial decisions without her father’s approval.

Thank God.

April 22, 2008 at 8:28 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

14Larry Rudolph Hits MySpace

I wonder how much you have to pay to be one of the “Cool New People” on the MySpace front page.

Larry Rudolph is there today. You can check out his full profile here. His comments are mostly just people begging him to help Britney. Hee hee.

Also, I can’t for the life of me get the plugin working that was allowing me to show photos of myself on here. And I get no end of emails from you guys like “What do you look like???” Seriously there was one guy who emailed me five times, like, “Me again! I’ll stop emailing you if you send me pics of yourself!!!” So I’ve decided to take the plunge and let people I don’t actually know in person be added as my MySpace friend. I will hear no end of this from my parents, who are fairly certain I will inevitably be stabbed to death by a stalker or a dissatisfied celebrity. But whatever. If you wanna be my MySpace friend, the profile is here. If you’ve tried before and been unceremoniously rejected, try again. I won’t be such a bitch this time.

April 22, 2008 at 3:05 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

23Out and Proud

Heather Matarazzo and Girlfriend Caroline Murphy, Pictures, Photos

Here’s Heather Matarazzo — who I adore — at the premiere of Then She Found Me, posing with her real-life girlfriend, Caroline Murphy. They’ve been together since 2003, and Heather came out publicly in 2004.

April 22, 2008 at 2:47 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized