Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Bushy Gets No Love from NBC Audiences

President Bush is a Fucking Idiot

Our Commander in Chief’s much-heralded visit to “Deal or No Deal” on Monday night did nothing to improve the show’s ratings. In fact, that episode matched its lowest Monday rating ever. Ahhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha. Britney Spears scores HIMYM its highest ratings ever. President Bush lands this show its lowest ratings ever. Loves. It.

Maybe it’s just that everyone knew that the part with President Bush would be all over the Internet, like, five seconds later. But everyone knew that about Britney’s appearance, too, and they still watched. Maybe Americans are just sick of seeing his lame duck face anywhere, period.

We have it here, in case you care.

Oh, Man, Miley Cyrus Is Like Two Years Away From a Full-Blown Alcohol Problem

Miley Cyrus Kisses Mom Leticia Cyrus, Pictures, Photos

It’s like they’re grooming her to become Britney Spears. Warts and all.

Like, remember when Britney went crazy and decided she hated her mother and wanted absolutely no contact with the woman and blamed her for the entirety of her problems? And remember how that was really funny because just a few years back Britney and Lynne had written a book about how much they loved each other and how close they were and what a fantastic, indestructible relationship they had?


So now Miley Cyrus is doing the same thing.

She’s signed a 7-figure deal with Disney Book Group to write an autobiography about her life (all 15 years of it), and especially her relationship with her mother.

The book will focus on the 15-year-old’s road to fame, from growing up in Tennessee to navigating the spotlight as an international star, and how her family – especially mother Leticia – helps keep her grounded. According to Disney, the book will feature never-before-seen photos, family stories and a look at the star’s inner circle.

“I am so excited to let fans in on how important my relationship with my family is to me,” Cyrus said. “I hope to motivate mothers and daughters to build lifetimes of memories together, and inspire kids around the world to live their dreams.”

Oh, man, you guys. It’s totally happening all over again.

Daddy’s Little Girl

Madonna\'s Daughter Lourdes and Biological Father Carlos Leon, Pictures, Photos

Look out, Manhattan!

Madonna’s daughter Lourdes has reportedly been begging her mom to let her go live in New York City with her biological father, Carlos Leon.

Sources are reporting that Madge has agreed to let the 13-year-old spend the summer in the city with her dad.

This can only end in a Page Six item involving the words “Beatrice Inn,” “Mary-Kate Olsen,” and “frequent bathroom trips.”


Here’s Taylor Swift, pimping out her senior prom night for an MTV show called Once Upon a Prom. Taylor chose to go to prom with Whit Wright, of Hillcrest High School in Tuscaloosa, Alabama. She narrowed the group of applicants down to about 14, then picked Whit’s name out of a hat. Taylor will be on tour when her own high school has its senior prom.

Wearing a beige BCBG full-length gown, Swift picked up Wright in her new tour bus. But when she discovered that her date was wearing a pink tie and vest to honor a friend’s mother who is battling breast cancer, she ran to the back of the bus and changed into a pale pink dress by Sue Wong.

Aw, that’s really cute. This dude seems really, really uncomfortable, but also very sweet.

I didn’t get to go to my senior prom, either. But that was more because I’d dropped out of high school by then, and less because I was an international superstar. It’s okay, though. I’m pretty sure I got laid that night, anyway, which is more than I can say for Taylor. “I don’t kiss on the first date!” she lied, when asked if there was any monkey business between her and Whit.

Connor Cruise to Take On First Movie Role

Tom Cruise, Wife Katie Holmes and Adopted Son Connor Cruise, Pictures, Photos

I guess the adoptive Cruise children aren’t being completely ignored.

Connor Cruise, age 13, has landed a small role in the upcoming Will Smith drama, Seven Pounds. He’ll play a younger version of Smith. Connor supposedly had to audition for the role. Riiiiight. In much the same way Tori Spelling “auditioned” for her role on 90210.

“Tom is so proud of Connor,” says a source. “He’s proud of him for really doing this on his own.”

I have to admit, I’m always kind of relieved to hear that the “other” Cruise children have some manner of involvement with and support from Tom. I always imagine them being, like, shipped off to boarding school in Iceland or something, never to be heard from again.

Yup, Our Old Lindsay’s Back

Lindsay Lohan Passed Out Drunk at Beatrice Inn, Pictures, Photos

The stories of Lindsay “Crazy” Lohan are hitting the gossip scene at around the same time we keep hearing stories of her pounding vodka. Surprise, surprise.

Lindsay was apparently at the Beatrice Inn in NYC on Friday night, with Samantha Ronson. Ashley Olsen was there, too. Ashley decided to say hello to Samantha, who’s probably sold her drugs on more than one occasion.

Lindsay’s response?

“Get your 15-year-old ‘Full House’ ass away from my girlfriend.”


Whitney and Ray J: Back On?

Ray J and Whitney Houston at Bernard Hopkins-Joe Calzaghe fight in Las Vegas, Pictures, Photos

Despite persistent rumors of a split, the two were spotted in Vegas together at the Bernard Hopkins-Joe Calzaghe fight, and later they hung out at the roulette tables together.

They flew to Sin City in a private jet, which was also carrying Whitney’s daughter, Bobbi Kristina, and Ray J’s big sis Brandy.

The two were reportedly booked in separate rooms for the night.

Eh, they’re totally still banging.