What would you do on the day you found out your little sister was pregnant? Would you:
a) Kick her ass
b) Kick the dude’s ass
c) Kick your mom’s ass
d) Grab a coat hanger
e) Make Lisa Kline open late for you to go shopping
Britney’s answer was (e).
On the day she found out — along with the rest of the world — that her sixteen-year-old sister was knocked up, Britney Spears and her ubiquitous cowboy boots did some late-night shopping at Lisa Kline on Robertson. She then checked into L’Ermitage in Beverly Hills (because the Four Seasons has — no joking — banned her temporarily).
Shopping makes everything better.
Shopping and CONDOMS!!!
CONDOMS CONDOMS CONDOMS, PEOPLE!!!
Unwed mothers are the new black.
Lily Allen and her boyfriend, Chemical Brother Ed Simons, 37, are reportedly expecting.
Can these people not afford condoms?
Forget about having rubbers in the high schools; we need to have condoms in the Nickelodeon green room and under the bleachers at TRL.
LISTEN UP, PEOPLE: When he says he’s just going to put the tip in, two things are relatively certain:
1) You risk getting pregnant
2) You’re going to end up giving him head anyway
HEED MY WORDS.
I love Alicia Witt!!!!
As I’ve said before, she is single-handedly making Law and Order: Criminal Intent watchable again. (Fuck Vincent D’Onofrio.)
Here she is singing and playing piano at The Bitter End in NYC.
Is there anything this chick can’t do?
Just guess, guys.
Here’s a clue: her 16-year-old daughter is pregnant and her 26-year-old daughter is a cokeheaded cum dumpster who doesn’t even seem to want custody of her two young children.
Can you guess? I’ll give you some more time to think about it.
The mysterious answer is after the jump.
Jamie-Lynn Spears, 16, sister of Britney Spears, is motherfucking pregnant.
The baby daddy is her live-in boyfriend, Casey Aldridge, age 19.
This oughtta be fun.
And what does Nickelodeon think of this?
They’re shitting their damn pants.
But what they’re saying on the record?
â€œWe respect Jamie Lynnâ€™s decision to take responsibility in this sensitive and personal situation. We know this is a very difficult time for her and her family, and our primary concern right now is for Jamie Lynnâ€™s well being.â€
OMG OMG OMG.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, KIDS!!!
At least, according to OK! magazine she is.
Their new cover announces that Jamie-Lynn and her mom are going on the record about the 16-year-old’s pregnancy.
Was she tired of her sister getting all the attention for being crazy???
What is wrong with this family?
They need to start putting birth control and Lexapro in the water in their household.
This is INSANITY!
We’ll have more details as they come.