Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Baby Bump Baby Bump!

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Jessica Alba shows off that teensy-tiny bump as she does publicity for her new film, The Eye, in LA.

I saw this movie over the weekend — it was not my choice — and let me summarize the film for you guys:

Jessica Alba is blind. Then Jessica Alba is not blind. Now Jessica Alba sees dead people. Jessica Alba wears a white tank top. Jessica Alba takes a shower. Jessica Alba goes to Mexico. Jessica Alba saves the dead people. Then Jessica Alba is blind again. The end.

There. I saved you $10.

Ugh. Denise Richards Is Dragging Her Poor Children onto TV.

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Despite Charlie Sheen’s objections, a court ruled last month that Denise Richards can use her poor young daughters as pawns on her upcoming reality TV series on E!.

Those kids hate being on camera.

“The show will give viewers an inside look at what it’s like for Denise to go through these ups and downs while always in the public eye,” said Lisa Berger, Executive Vice President, Original Programming and Series Development for E!, in a statement. “At the core of this series is a resilient single mom who is trying to get her life back on track.”

Ugh.

GO AWAY, DENISE! And keep your fucking kids out of your mess of a life.

Dita Von Teese and AJ McLean?

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Man, Grammy night sure does bring out the worst in people.

Today we’re hearing reports that Dita Von Teese was “getting snuggly” with Backstreet Boy AJ McLean at Clive Davis’s pre-Grammy party.

Is she trying to find the anti Marilyn Manson? Or does AJ have a goth side the rest of us don’t know about?

Is Fergie Preggers?

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Page Six is reporting that Fergie and Josh Duhamel have moved up their wedding date — because she is P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T.

“She picked up a wedding dress while she was in New York for Fashion Week and wants to move the wedding up so she is married before the bump becomes too obvious,” one insider said. “At Clive’s, she just drank water.”

It’s baby year, people! Hurry up and get pregnant before you become one of those losers who gives birth in 2009. By then, babies will be so last year and you’ll need to spend all sorts of money on a Hermes clutch to be cool. Much simpler to have a child.