Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quotables

Elizabeth Berkley to Page Six Magazine on Sunday, discussing her ill-fated role in the cinematic masterpiece that was Showgirls:

“If you just looked at it on paper, it felt like a no-brainer.” After all, the Basic Instinct team of director Paul Verhoeven and writer Joe Eszterhas had just made Sharon Stone a household name. Her only concerns at the time were simple, she says. “I thought, ‘Do I feel comfortable with this director? Do I feel like I will be protected in this?’ Those things all felt like ‘yes’ prior to filming. After filming, I can’t say I felt that way.” Because there, of course, is when the media skewered the movie, unanimously crowning it the year’s worst film.

“I think that was the part where I felt let down. I didn’t feel like any of the filmmakers had my back when it came up — at all. Nobody stood up and said a word when the media was being so mean.” She was all of 20 at the time. The actress says she took the Showgirls fallout on her own, promoting the film single-handedly when the other players backed out. “I didn’t want to run away and hide. It was a nasty moment, but I found out what I was made of, I’ll tell you that for sure.”

Translation: At first she was excited. And then she was so scared.

Aw, Elizabeth. Think of it this way: if that movie had been even marginally decent, it wouldn’t be playing on cable TV all the fucking time today. Seriously, sometimes when I just need a good laugh, I’m like, “Hm, I wonder who’s playing Showgirls with awkward digital bras painted on today?” And someone always is.

The Jenna Bush Wedding Photos

I know a lot of you are like “Why would you give any attention to any member of the Bush family?” but, you know, it’s really not Jenna’s fault that her father is an international war criminal, and I think she looks cute and I love her wedding dress.

These are the photos released officially by the White House, which is why they all kind of suck and George Bush is in almost all of them.

It’s the best I could do.

World Premiere!

The Sex and the City gals all showed up to the world premiere of their film in London. Why it wasn’t in New York is a complete and total mystery to me.

That thing on Sarah Jessica’s head?

Is ridiculous.

I have this overpowering urge to get a gun and start firing at it.

This Is Attractive

Meet Sheyla Hershey.

She’s the Guiness Book of World Records holder for the world’s largest breast implants.

She’s currently a size FFF.

Here she is, walking to the office of Dr. Robert Rey (aka Dr. 90210), who she hopes will agree to increase them further.

This woman needs to see a shrink, not a plastic surgeon. And you’d think that, with all the money she’s spending on plastic surgery, she could throw down some cash for a dress that doesn’t look like it came from the sale rack at Forever 21.

This is just a stupid ratings ploy for Dr. Rey.