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18Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake Team Up for Obama

Apparently, it is so important that Barack Obama win the upcoming election that Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel have agreed to make a public appearance together.

I know.

It’s that big.

The couple showed up to speak to the crowd on Saturday at a Las Vegas rally for the Democratic candidate.

Timberlake performed an off-the-cuff riff, singing “Vote in a Box,” a spoof of his infamous raunchy Saturday Night Live sketch, a campaign source tells

“Me and Jess, we’re here as Americans. We’re here as humans because this is something we had to do,” Timberlake told the crowd at the Clark County Government Center amphitheater, according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal.

He added, “We’ve never publicly endorsed before. But we’ve never been so inspired by one person.”

(A source tells Us that Timberlake’s mother, Lynn, helped him write his opening remarks.)

Noting that the next president’s Supreme Court appointments could determine the future of legal abortions, Biel told the crowd, “Nobody should be able to say what you can do with your body.”

Joked Timberlake, “I give Jess the right to choose where we go to eat all the time. The funny thing is, what the woman chooses is usually right.”

“Brownie points for you,” Biel kidded back.

Teased Timberlake, “I know where my bread is buttered.”

Added Biel: “The bread is his penis and it’s buttered inside my vagina. In case you didn’t get that.”

Oh, and Justin: Comparing elective termination to the age-old Olive-Garden-vs-Buca-di-Beppo debate? Probably not the smoothest tactic. Just for future reference.

October 13, 2008 at 4:37 pm by Evil Beet


“We’re gonna take it week by week. If she wins, I’m done. I can’t do that for four years. And by ‘I’m done,’ I mean I’m leaving Earth.”

Tina Fey, on her doppelganger and current meal-ticket, Sarah Palin.

October 13, 2008 at 3:35 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Sarah Palin, Tina Fey

17Drugs Are Bad, Mmm-kay?

Former Marilyn Manson bassist Gidget Gein, age 39, was found dead in his Burbank apartment on Thursday of an apparent drug overdose. Gein had recently finished a stint in rehab, just one of many throughout his life.

Remember, kids: You can’t get addicted if you never start!

RIP, buddy.

October 13, 2008 at 3:26 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Gidget Gein

18You Guys Have to Hear About Sophie Monk for Awhile So I Can Pursue a Fantasy Relationship with Matt Felker

It’s not that I’ve ever given you a reason to care about Sophie Monk in the past, other than the fact that she’s the chick Benji Madden was with before Paris Hilton, but we’re going to start caring about her around here, and I’ll tell you why: I’m trying to sleep with Matt Felker. Who’s Matt Felker, you may ask? Why, he’s the hot guy from the Britney Spears “Toxic” video, a longtime crush of mine who is also the producer of Sophie’s upcoming television show, Bigger Than Paris. He would like for me to plug Sophie and the show. Now, normally I would be all like, “Um, my opinion cannot be bought. I don’t much care about Sophie or her show, and I’m not going to start just because you tell me to. This is an independent blog and I say what I want.” And it’s true: my opinion cannot be bought. It can, however, be seduced.

We’d like to add that, if Matt is reading this, we would also enjoy some exclusive shirtless photos of him to go along with the plugs for Sophie Monk’s upcoming television show, Bigger Than Paris. Exclusive shirtless pics would help us to better plug the show. Exclusive shirtless pics and tight pants. We’re just saying.

Here’s Sophie — star of the upcoming television show Bigger Than Paris — promoting Hollywood Fashion Shapes in Sydney.

October 13, 2008 at 3:09 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Matt Felker, Sophie Monk

5Stars: They’re Just Like Us!

They look like crap when they go to the airport!!!

As much as I love giving Jessica a rough time about her ensembles, I’m going to let this slide, because she actually looks remarkably put-together compared to the way I normally look when arriving at the airport. I just have to ask, though: why wear the jewelry? I mean, you’re going to have to take it off when you go through security, and it’s not like Joan Rivers is going to be looking at these pictures like, “You know, Jessica’s look would have been perfect if she’d paired the oversized sweatsuit with some thin silver hoops.”

Leaving Dallas last week.

October 13, 2008 at 2:53 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jessica Simpson

117Is Selena Gomez Single????

First we hear the devastating news that Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas have called it quits, and now it’s looking like little Nicholas may be on the market, too.

Selena Gomez — who’s been linked to Miley Cyrus’s ex Nick Jonas for the better part of the year — reportedly told red-carpet reporters she was single at the St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital’s Runway for Life benefit.

When a reporter asked her about any celebrity crushes, she shouted “Let Shia know I’m available!”

Hmm …

Is this a declaration of singledom from Ms. Gomez???

October 13, 2008 at 2:43 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Selena Gomez