Miley had been scheduled for weeks to participate in the Disney Channel Games, a charity competition taking place in Orlando on Friday.
No reason was given for her pulling out of the competition, but word on the street is that Disney is trying to keep her out of the spotlight until this I’m-a-good-role-model-if-you-want-your-fifteen-year -old-to-have-bedroom-hair-and-no-clothes thing blows over.
The girls over at Hollyscoop are claiming they have it on good authority that Beyonce Knowles is “100% pregnant, which is why the couple rushed their wedding.”
Man, I love it when people say things like “100% pregnant.” The alternative is something like “Beyonce Knowles is 75% pregnant. The other quarter of the fetus is in Jessica Simpson’s uterus. Long story.”
Anyway, the source goes on to claim that everyone at Beyonce’s (still unconfirmed) wedding was well aware that she was pregnant, and that she was rushing the wedding due to her strong Christian beliefs.
Um, did I miss the major tectonic plate shift that resulted in Florida being a part of Africa? I mean, it’s not like I ever read non-celeb news, so it’s possible it just never came across my radar, but that seems unlikely, because doesn’t Jennifer Lopez own a home in Miami? I definitely would have heard about Jennifer Lopez’s Miami home and the tectonic plates beneath it moving to Africa. I’m just going to go ahead and assume that Florida is still a part of the United States, like it was the last time I took geography.
So let me get this straight, Edie. You adopted a child from America? And you didn’t immediately issue a press release?
What kind of a fucking celebrity are you? I get it, I get it. You’re embarrassed that your adopted kid isn’t from Africa. It’s kind of like when you get a new pair of jeans at Express and you like them, you really do, but you don’t really want to advertise that you got them from Express because, like, all the cool kids are wearing Paper Denim. I feel for you, Edie.