11Oh Hells Yes: Celebrity Apprentice is FAILING!!!

Oh, die, Donald Trump, die!!!

Rosie O’Donnell must be a happy camper. And so am I!

Last Thursday’s Celebrity Apprentice came in at third place with only 8.2 million viewers.

That’s a 26% fall from its previous week’s premiere.

Back before we all hated the Donald with such a passion, the show could get close to 20 million viewers per episode. But no one cares about poor little Donald Trump again. NOTHING can revive this series.

YOU’RE FIRED, DONALD!!!! You should have walked away while you were on top.

I’m very curious to see what the ratings for American Idol were last night!

Is America just ready for something new????

January 16, 2008 at 10:05 am by Evil Beet

7Everyone Hates Dr. Phil Now

Everything Britney Spears touches turns to shit. Except for Kevin Federline, who apparently turns into Father of the Year.

Anyway.

Dr. Phil is trying to book celebs for his 1000th episode show, but, after the Britney insanity, no one wants to touch him with a 10-foot pole.

“Nobody good wants to go near it,” says a source familiar with the booking process.

Ouch! See what happens when you try to help Britney Spears? Nothing good, people!

January 16, 2008 at 9:58 am by Evil Beet

10Matthew McConaughey’s Girlfriend is Preggers

Of course she is.

Babies are the hot new accessory for 2008.

Says Matty on his website:

“My girlfriend Camila and I made a baby together. its 3 months growin in her womb and all looks healthy and lively so far. we are stoked and wowed by this miracle of creation and this gift from God, and so excited for the adventure that will come in raising this child, being a mother and a father, and [shepherding] him or her through this life…from moms and dads, to family, to community, it takes the best will and support from everyone to raise the healthiest children we have in society…wish us the best, keep us in your prayers, and God bless evolution… thanks for bein fans of me and my work and now this new and miraculous chapter in my life, as me and Camila and our child do our best to just keep livin…

wow, McConaughey”

Of course he’s stoked. Babies are totally radical, dude!

January 16, 2008 at 9:54 am by Evil Beet

23Holy Fucking Shit: Brad Renfro Found Dead

So much for my little mental health day. This was not the news I needed.

He was only 25.

Renfo had struggled with drug and alcohol abuse issues in the past.

The star of The Client was found dead in his Los Angeles apartment, where he’d spent the night with friends.

Drug overdose is “obviously it’s a possibility considering his history, but right now all we have is the history of his drinking the previous night,” says Craig Harvey, chief investigator for the Los Angeles county coroner. “All that we have is that he was last known to be alive during the morning hours and he was snoring.”

RIP, buddy.

January 15, 2008 at 6:48 pm by Evil Beet

13Okay Okay Okay

Before I leave for my mental health day, here’s the Tom Cruise Scientology video everyone’s talking about.

Tom sounds like I feel.

January 15, 2008 at 3:21 pm by Evil Beet

5Oprah Winfrey Begins Phase 3 of Her Plans to Take Over the World

As if Oxygen weren’t enough, Oprah Winfrey has announced she is launching ANOTHER network, OWN, the Opray Winfrey Network.

“For me, the launch of ‘The Oprah Winfrey Network’ is the evolution of the work I’ve been doing on television all these years and a natural extension of my (syndicated daytime) show,” Winfrey said in a statement.

And with that, guys, I’m taking the rest of the day as a mental health day. Sorry, but I need it. Love you guys bunches.

January 15, 2008 at 2:23 pm by Evil Beet