Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Danica McKellar Is Probably the Most Awesome Person in the Whole Wide World

Winnie Cooper is currently promoting her second book about math for young women, titled Kiss My Math: Showing Pre-Algebra Who’s Boss. Her first effort, Math Doesn’t Suck: How to Survive Middle-School Math without Losing Your Mind or Breaking a Nail, was a bestseller.

One of the girls from Jezebel attended her book signing in downtown Brooklyn last night, and Danica said that she wants to show young women “that you can be that girly girl who wears four-inch heels and is good at math.”

I LOVE this.

In my past life, I studied engineering in college, and a group of us women formed a little society called the “Cute Engineering Girls Club,” or the CEGC. There were only a handful of us; young women who wanted to dye our hair blonde and wear short skirts and lip gloss and cute purses and still kicked all the boys’ asses on the physics exams. Like I said, we were a small crew, but it was empowering nonetheless to hang with other women who weren’t afraid of being fashionable and good at math. I love that Danica’s able to carry this message to young women everywhere.

A Scene That Occurs 1000 Times a Day in Hollywood

A reporter for the NY Daily News recounts what happened while he was trying to interview James Franco at the after-party for The Pineapple Express, and two attractive women walked up in the middle of it.

Girl: You look familiar.

Franco: I dunno. Have we met?

Girl: I saw you on screen an hour ago.

Franco: On the street?

Girl: No! On the movie screen! You were in the movie we just saw!

Girl 2: I loved it. I’m [Name redacted].

Girl: I’m [Name redacted]. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

Franco: Hi. I’m James.

Girl 2: Where are you from?

Franco: Well I’m moving here to New York City very soon …

Publicist (interrupting): You know girls, this is the Daily News right here …

Daily News: Give me two seconds, and then you can tell him everything that you ever wanted to.

Girl (grinning widely): Like all my favorite sexual positions?

Franco (turns to the Daily News and smirks): I’ll borrow your tape recorder for that!

Heh.

James Franco just got way more attractive to me.

Lil’ Kim Birthday Killer Arrested!

Unfortunately, it turns out that Lil’ Kim didn’t go on a jealous rampage and kill a woman attending her recent birthday party in a Times Square club. Police have arrested a man who confessed to the killing.

Sources said Rahman Syed, 24, a bartender’s assistant, admitted that he killed Ingrid Rivera, 24, of Richmond Hill, who had been kicked out of the party at Spotlight Live on Broadway for being drunk, sources said.

Rivera’s body was found in a deserted area on the roof. Investigators said she led her to the roof, after telling her to “come take a walk with me.” He led her to a restricted area for which he had a key.

Police began looking at Syed when they learned of his access to the area.

Earlier, sources said, Syed had brought another woman to the roof, where he kept trying to rub up against her.

But that woman got away, called him “crazy” and complained to someone at the bar.

Very, very sad! Watch how much you drink when you’re out and about, ladies, and don’t head up to rooftops with crazy men! Ha, you know, it’s easy for me to say this stuff now that I’m older and wiser, but in my teens and early 20s it’s truly a miracle that I was never murdered on a rooftop. I was all about drinking too much and wandering off with strange men. And there was this one time in Mexico where my best friend and I spent the evening getting wasted with the children of drug traffickers, who politely respected the fact that we had boyfriends and dropped us back at our hotel by our curfew. I am blessed.

Kate Moss Agrees to Spend Time with Her Daughter as a Birthday Present for the Nanny

So I’m telling my mom the other day about my grand scheme for child-rearing. I’m going to have a baby, keep the baby until it’s eight or nine or so — whenever they develop their own personalities and start asserting themselves — and then I’m going to send this child to boarding school and not deal with it until it’s an adult and prepared to make some sense. Because if my own child is anything like I was when I was a teenager, I want nothing to do with him or her. It’ll just make my own mother too smug to watch me struggle against a teenager just like myself.

“See,” I explained to my mother, “then the kid can’t resent me, because I won’t have been involved in any of the major decision-making processes in his or her life. There won’t be anything he or she can hold against me.” My mother glared at me, as mothers do. “Well, Mom,” I said, “I’ll call him on his birthday every year. It’s not like I’m going to be totally absent.”

Anyway.

I thought of this when I read that Kate Moss switched places with her daughter’s nanny as a birthday present for the nanny.

The nanny – on hols with Kate in Ibiza, looking after her daughter Lila Grace – woke to a fancy showbiz brekkie of smoked salmon and champagne.

She was then wined and dined, taken out on a yacht and lavished with gifts.

So, once a year, Kate Moss spends time with her child while the nanny sleeps and gets drunk. The rest of the year, it’s the other way around. This approach to motherhood, I feel, would work well for me.

Um, Some Chick Got Murdered at Lil’ Kim’s Birthday Party

The body of Ingrid Rivera, who was last seen on Sunday night, attending Lil’ Kim’s birthday party at the Spotlight Live club in Times Square, was found on the roof of the building where the party took place.

The woman suffered massive head injuries, among others.

Um …

Wow.

The worst thing that ever happened at one of my birthday parties was when someone made me do a shot of Three Wise Men. That’s Jack Daniels, Jose Cuervo and Jim Beam. Which is pretty much equivalent to suffering massive head injuries, but the difference is you’re still alive the next day, albeit barely.

RIP, Ingrid.

By the way, this pic was taken at the party where this woman was killed.

A Dixie Chick Divorce

Marriage doesn’t work for anybody ever so just don’t bother.

Dixie Chick Emily Robison and her husband, singer Charlie Robison, have divorced.

The divorce filing states their marriage had “become insupportable because of discord or conflict of personalities.”

They’ve been married nearly ten years and have three children.

See, this is why pets are good. Pets will not divorce you nor create discord. Right now my cat Max and my dog Leo are having an epic battle which has, at this point, involved every room in the apartment. They just chase each other from room to room, run in circles around each other for awhile, swat a bit, and then take the adventure to a new room, galloping at full speed. Also, I swear I just heard Max bark. See? This is so much more entertaining than any man has ever been.