Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Dakota Fanning is Terry Richardson’s Latest Victim

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Oh girl WHAT HAVE YOU DONE. Posing for Terry Richardson? What’s next, buying magic crystals off the street from some shady-looking dude your ex-lesbian lover used to frequent? Making racist comments in public? Showing your vagina? Donning a pink wig?

Last, has anyone ever told you about the uncanny resemblance between you and Eminem? ‘Cause it’s there, sweetie.

Morning Wood

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Lindsay‘s not good enough for anyone anymore. [The Superficial]

NYC Subway Groper caught, was not Brett Ratner. [The Frisky]

Conrad Murray‘s got a lot of secrets to spill. [TMZ]

Jennifer Lopez goes for a thigh-high split dress. [Starpulse]

Ryan Gosling and Rooney Mara? [Lainey Gossip]

Natalie Portman: almost unrecognizable. [Socialite Life]

Diane Kruger shows you her goods. [Yeeeah]

Clint Eastwood talks politics. [LA Times]

Lindsay Lohan was “scared and cold” during the four hours spent in jail. [Amy Grindhouse]

Coco’s big, big, BIG bare ass at the beach. [IDLYITW]

Chelsea Handler breaks up with a dude I didn’t even know she was dating. [Cele|bitchy]

Still together, despite rumors. [Lainey Gossip]

Helena Bonham Carter still looks amazingly good. [Pajiba]

This is Kim Kardashian‘s sad face. [The Superficial]

Let’s Catch Up With Brad and Angelina, Shall We?

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Sometimes, guys, I feel like we get caught up in all of the unimportance of celebrities like Courtney Stodden and her boobs and Olivia Munn and all her seafood sexcapades, and we fail to really acknowledge celebrities to the likes of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. Yup, folks, they’re still a thing and they’re still as amazing as they were six months ago.

See? Wasn’t that fun now? There. We checked in, alright? And you know what we found? That they’re just as boring as they were six months ago, and six months before that, and, oh, right, six months before that. They still look great, their kids are still adorable, and they’re still traveling all around the world doing admirable things with their millions and billions of dollars, all while looking casually fashionable and put together.

Can we go carbon date Courtney Stodden’s vagina now or something?