Today's Evil Beet Gossip

OMFG Someone’s Impersonating Angelina Jolie’s Assistant

Apparently the (untrue) story of Angelina giving birth last week was part of a larger problem: someone is misleading the media by pretending to be Angelina Jolie’s longtime assistant, Holly Goline.

Angie’s lawyers circulated a letter warning of the impostor yesterday:

“A random individual has engaged in a scheme to intentionally harm my client and deceive her fans, the public and the media through illegal and tortuous impersonation of Ms Jolie’s long-time assistant, Holly,” the letter reads. “The individual who claims to be, and to whom the media has relied upon as, a ‘reliable source’ is not my client’s assistant, nor does the email address belong to my client’s assistant.”

Dear Lord. How will we ever know if Angelina’s really given birth or not? This just turns my whole world upside-down.

Quotables

“I can buy porn or kill someone in war, but I can’t have a glass of wine. If I could change one thing about America, it would be its ridiculous age limits on things. That’s why I love visiting Britain. I can walk into a bar and order a drink without having to show my passport. That’s so cool.”

Eighteen-year-old Hayden Panettiere.

Hells yeah, Hayden!

I think our Presidential candidates should have a new running platform: a lowering of the drinking age for Hayden Panettiere. Because here in the gossip world, we need that bitch drunk!

Brangelina Baby Pics Could Bring in Over $15M

Fifteen million dollars.

That’s where bidding is reportedly at for the first exclusive pics of the Brangelina twinsies, when they’re born. And it’s expected to go a LOT higher.

The two mags left in the running are OK! magazine and People magazine.

Brad and Angelina will donate the money to charity.

OMG.

$15 million???

We can’t come up with that sort of cash here at EB, but if there’s some way I could exchange lots sexual favors with someone (or someones?) to get us those pics exclusively, I’m so totally game. Call me.