Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lifetime Gives Carson Kressley Talk Show the Thumbs-Up

Remember Carson Kressley, the main gay from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? That show that was popular back when we, as a nation, were celebrating our realization that gay people can be on television and it’ll be okay?

I remember I had a huge crush on Kyan from that show. I thought he was just the hottest thing ever. I have this problem with falling in love with gay men. I can’t help it that they’re so damn hot. Anyway one of my coworkers (this was back when I had an office job) emailed me a bunch of photos of Kyan, and I printed them out (on the color printer! take that, profit-sharing!) and posted them on the walls of my cubicle and stared at them adoringly all day long.

We were based in LA but worked very closely with a company in Fort Worth, Texas, and I will tell you that I found a majority of the men from that company (they were almost all men) to be kind, intelligent and open-minded, but some of them were still the stereotypical men who’d been born and bred in Fort Worth, Texas. Old-school cowboy types with old-school cowboy ideas. One older guy in particular was especially Texan, and he was visiting our LA offices when he walked by my cube and saw the pictures of Kyan.

Dude: Oh, is that your boyfriend?
Me: (Genuinely flattered that anyone could believe I’d landed a guy who looks like Kyan.) No, no. He’s just a guy on a TV show that I have a crush on.
Dude: Really? What TV show?
Me: (Realizing now that this isn’t going anywhere good) Um … Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?
Dude: Ahem! What for the What?
Me: (Praying for the best) It’s this show where gay men help straight men learn how to dress and socialize and take better care of themselves.
Dude: And the men on it are homosexuals?
Me: Yes. They’re gay.
Dude: (Pointing to photos on my wall) But this guy isn’t a homosexual.
Me: No, he is. He’s gay.
Dude: He’s gay?
Me: Yes.
Dude: This one? On your wall?
Me: Yes.
Dude: (Truly more perplexed than upset at this point) And … um … so … you … like that?
Me: I just think he’s hot.
Dude: (Gives me strange look, shakes his head) I don’t understand you Los Angeles types.

I realized after that I should have just said “Yes, that’s my boyfriend and he’s a ill-tempered UFC fighter and we’re getting married,” because a coworker of mine told me later that a bunch of the guys went out and got drunk after work that day and this dude was telling everyone, in intimate detail, the things he was sure he’d be able to get me to do in the bedroom if he had the chance. Sexy!

All of this has a point.

Oh, yes, Carson Kressley is shooting a pilot for a daytime talk show for the Lifetime network. The show will focus on “real people” rather than celebrities, who we all know are made of clay.

It’s Beginning!

Newly minted Disney starlet Selena Gomes hit up the opening of the Pop Factory in LA with a friend.

Wanna know who was at the same party?

Paris and Nicky Hilton!

Selena’s getting a taste of LA nightlife and obviously loving the cameras. How long until she starts hitting up the clubs?

Joe Jonas and Taylor Swift?

Is this the hot new up-and-coming couple?

Evil Beet sources report that Joe Jonas (of the Jonas Brothers) is now dating Taylor Swift. She joined the guys on tour in Dallas last night and will be hitting up Anaheim with them as well.

Why do you care?

I’ll tell you.

First of all, because, aside from Taylor Momsen, Taylor Swift is definitely my #1 underage girl-crush. So that should be reason enough. But I really want Taylor to be a huge star and a relationship with Joe Jonas could help increase her star status in the mainstream tabs, which would thrill me. Oh, and they both purport to be “virgins.”

But, most importantly, Joe Jonas is Miley Cyrus’s ex-boyfriend!

Drama????

Oh, I hope so!

Remember when Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff went head-to-head over Aaron Carter? (Who?) I want this to be like that all over again!!!!

NEW BLOOD!!!!

Update: Oops! Miley dated Nick Jonas, not Joe. Eh, I still want them to fight.

A-Rod Was Emotionally Cheating on Wife with Madonna

So now A-Rod’s wife is all like, “My husband didn’t have sex with Madonna, but he was in love with her.” Basically, The Sun says she’s denying that his affair with her was sexual, but basically accuses him of emotional cheating. Cynthia Rodriguez says she has copies of text messages sent between Madge and A-Rod, and a source says the messages “were instrumental in convincing her that he was besotted. The messages could be released if things get really ugly.” My British-to-Americanese translator thinks that “besotted” means “in love” or “crushing.” British readers, please correct me if I’m wrong.

A friend of Alex says he acted like a “smitten schoolboy” while exchanging text messages. Um, I love it when British newspapers make up quotes. Somehow I don’t think anyone who’s friends with Alex Rodriguez has ever used the term “smitten schoolboy” ever ever ever.

Is emotional cheating as bad as physical cheating?

IMHO, it’s worse.

This is gonna come back to haunt me, but I’d way rather have my boyfriend or husband get wasted one night and pork some random chick at a bar who he doesn’t care about than be secretly falling in love with another woman and not acting on it while it slowly chips away at your relationship and sense of self-worth.

I’m sure you guys have your own opinions.

Quotables

“I think Jesse Jackson, he’s the biggest player hater. His time is up. All you old niggas, time is up. We heard your voice, we saw your marching, we heard your sermons. We don’t wanna hear that shit no more. It’s a new day. It’s a new voice. I’m here now. We don’t need Jesse; I’m here. I got this. We got Barack, we got David Banners and Young Jeezys. We’re the voice now. It’s no more Jesse. Sorry. Goodbye. You ain’t helping nobody in the ‘hood. That’s the bottom line. Goodbye, Jesse. Bye!”

Rapper Nas, responding the Jesse Jackson’s recorded comments about how he wants to cut Barack Obama’s nuts off.

Isla Fisher Would Rather Be a Star Than a Jew

Oy vey!

Trouble abounds in Borat-ville!

Sacha Baron Cohen was supposed to get hitched to baby mama Isla Fisher this summer, but that’ll have to be postponed, because Isla’s been slacking on all the studying she needs to do to convert to Judaism. She’s doing it “part-time,” apparently, but her “full-time” job is filming Confessions of a Shopaholic.

It doesn’t seem like Sacha’s too concerned about this, but you know who is? HIS JEWISH MOTHER. Oh, yes.

Says a source: “Isla was supposed to spend her time after giving birth hard at work on her Torah studies, and that’s gone far slower than expected. It’s very much frustrated her future in-laws, especially Sacha’s parents, who were really hoping for a wedding this summer … Right now there’s no wedding date set because Isla hasn’t fully converted yet, and even though she’s working at it part-time, she’s far from being close to completing her studies.”

I guess Isla just wrapped filming on Confessions, and now her soon-to-be in-laws are expecting her to hunker down with the Torah hardcore.

Continues the source: “Sacha is not as worried about the relationship between his parents and Isla as everyone else is because he’s extremely devoted to her and their child. He also believes that putting too much pressure on Isla is only going to make the wedding happen later rather than sooner. He is happy taking his time to get married the same way he was happy having a long engagement. But in the meantime Isla’s had to endure a lot of awkward moments with Sacha’s mother, who just doesn’t seem to understand her future daughter-in-law’s drive to become a big star.”

Ugh. I had to go to Hebrew school (in addition to regular school!) for YEARS when I was a kid so that I could become a full-fledged Jew and then spend the majority of my adulthood attempting to explain to my mother that, yes, Judaism is nice and all, but Jewish men are skinny, short and/or nerdy and I don’t want to go out with them, Mom, even if you are going to pay for the JDate subscription, and yes, Mom, I know there are lots of nice Jewish boys in Los Angeles and maybe if I went to temple more often I’d meet some of them but, see, let me reiterate, Mom, that I don’t really want to date a Jewish guy. Sigh. I kind of represent the reason that old Jews are sad about my generation of Jews. Mainly, we want to date anyone other than our fellow Jews. All that Hebrew-learning, wasted. If I could just hand it over to you, Isla, I would.

Heh.

Anyone know any tall, hot, ripped, funny, smart and awesome Jewish guys living in Seattle? My email address is on the Contact page.