Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Another Day, Another Winehouse Drama

Amy Winehouse fainted at her home on Monday, and her father, who was there, rushed her to the hospital.

“Amy was at home this afternoon when she briefly fainted. Fortunately, her manager’s assistant was there to stop her falling,” publicist Tracey Miller said. “She quickly recovered and her father Mitch took her to hospital as a precaution. Doctors are unsure of the cause of the incident and Amy is currently undergoing tests. She may be kept in overnight for observation.”

Uh, you don’t have to go to medical school to figure out what happened here. I should be Amy Winehouse’s doctor. I’d be way less puzzled about this.

Incredible Hulk Crushes the Competition

A guy I used to date is friends with Liv Tyler, and he gave me no end of shit for saying “mean things about her legs” at the premiere of Incredible Hulk last week. “She’s really nice!” he insisted repeatedly, as if that somehow negates the possibility that she could have poor fashion sense every once in awhile.

I’ll note two things here:

1) I did not know he knew her prior to writing that post, so I wasn’t being “mean” to her out of jealousy or anything, and

2) I did not say mean things about her legs. I said she has legs that could be really sexy … in a different dress.

Anyway, Liv has the last laugh this week, as Incredible Hulk topped the box office charts with a $54.5M opening. Liv is already signed on to do two sequels, so she’s gonna be okay on the cash flow for awhile. Kung-Fu Panda came in a distant second, followed by the feel-good mass suicide flick of the year, The Happening.

Pictures of Jonathan Lipnicki As an Adult Make Me So Happy

“Did you know the human head weighs eight pounds? Also there’s a gun on my shirt.”

Seriously this kid just needs to give it up and go to college. He will never outgrow the typecasting that was thrust upon him when he was six years old.

He’s eighteen now. Yeah, you read that right. Little Ray Boyd is college-aged. You’re that old.

Here he is at the party for the U.S. launch of Russian brand Kira Plastinina. The event planners for this shin-dig put together one of the oddest assortment of folks I’ve seen in awhile: we’ve got Trishelle Canatella (love her!), Raven Symone (cute but needs to stop dressing like Queen Latifah right now), Audrina Patridge, Tara Reid (drunk or not? you decide!), Garcelle Beauvais, Hayden Panettiere, Katy Perry (did someone tell you it was a slumber party, sweetie?) and Katharine McPhee.

Also, and this is totally unrelated, but OMG you guys I feel like total shit tonight after three days on the road. The main problem is that you get totally dehydrated from being in the dry air all day long without much water. I try not to drink a huge amount of water while I’m driving so that I don’t have to stop and pee every half hour. But I do drink some water (like 1-2 bottles, plus soda with food) on the road, and then I try to drink a lot of water at night in the hotel. But clearly it didn’t work, because tonight I have a raging headache, my skin looks like shit, my lips are chapped to the point of being bloody and my throat is sore. (I will note, though, that I have not yet checked myself into the hospital for “dehydration.”) Does anyone have any suggestions for what to do differently on the drive back? I really don’t want to be drinking a gallon of water a day on the road, because then the drive will take my five days because I’ll stop so often. Any other options?

At any rate, I ate a healthy, vitamin-filled dinner and I’m loading up on water tonight, and I’m gonna try to sleep in a bit tomorrow to help ward off any illness that might prey on my dehydration. So don’t get all mad if posting doesn’t start until a little later than usual.

Happy (Blended) Family!

A rare photo of Ethan Hawke and his Uma-babies, Maya and Levon, and his soon-to-be baby mama, Ryan Shawhughes, who he’s said he plans to marry soon. And they’ve even got the family dog with them! Cuteness!

Maya and Levon are already very familiar with Ryan: she was their nanny before she was porking Ethan.

Introducing … Some Beet Pussy!

Okay okay. You guys made it clear in the comments that you wanted to see the cats, even though they’re fat. There’s nothing else much going on right now, so I’m going to introduce you to my other babies. You have to promise not to make fun of them for their weight, because they’re very self-conscious about it right now.

Up first: Josephine. Josie was my very first cat. I got her when I was 20. My longtime boyfriend was moving out of state for school, and I was devastated, and I decided I would get a cat for company. I adopted Josie from a rescue when she was just a baby, and I’ve had her ever since. Wow, that’s over six years now. Josie is an absolute sweetheart. She’s very quiet, not very demanding, and just loves to be held. For years she’s slept right on top of my chest all night every night. Josie is to me what Holly is to Hef.

Second: Ashley. I got Ashley when I started grad school. Since I was gone so much, I wanted Josie to have a friend. One of my girlfriends was fostering kittens, and I was over at her house and met Ashley, and decided to take her home with me. Josie pretty much raised Ashley by herself, since I was rarely around. Ashley is the Ice Queen. She’s very independent, and doesn’t like to be told what to do or where to be. She never sleeps in bed with me; she likes her own space. She also likes boy humans much better than girl humans. She’ll never come sit with me, but if I have a guy over she is instantly on his lap. She has always been the tiniest cat, just super-skinny her whole life. She is not so tiny anymore.

Once, on a road trip from LA to Phoenix, I thought I’d lost her. I stopped at a bank, and when I got back in the car, I couldn’t find Ashley. I had three people help me search my car, which was a tiny Eclipse. We looked everywhere, including the trunk and the luggage. We also searched the property all around the bank. She was nowhere to be found. I was hysterical, but after hours of looking, there was nothing to do but leave my phone number with the bank and get back on the road. I was crying my eyes out on I-10 when Ashley popped her little head out from the back seat. To this day, I have no idea where she’d been hiding.

And last but not least: Maxwell. I never intended to get a third cat. Two was plenty. But after I broke up with another boyfriend, and was really depressed, a neighborhood boy came by my apartment with Max. He’d found him on the street, and he didn’t know what to do with him. Max was super skinny and very sick. He looked like he hadn’t eaten in weeks. I took him in, glad to have a new man in my life, and planning to get him healthy and then put him up for adoption, but he was such a sweetheart I just couldn’t part with him. When I took him to the vet, they actually found a microchip on him and said they had to call his owner and return him. I cried for hours, until the vet got a hold of the owner, who said Max had run away months ago and he’d adopted a new cat, so I could keep Max.

Max is a diva. He likes attention all the time, and he’s the only one of my cats who cries regularly. There’s been more than one night where, at 3 a.m., I have desperately wanted to throw him out the window. But I can’t, because he’s my baby. Once he got healthy again, he was always a big cat, but this is definitely the biggest he’s ever been. We think he’s about the same age as Ashley: about three years old. He and Ashley dated for a little while, but they seem to be less loverly now. I think it’s because Ashley put on so much weight. Max sleeps at the foot of my bed every night, except for 15 minutes right after I go to bed when he gets to be on my chest. Then he has to go to the foot of the bed and Josie gets my chest for the remainder of the night. They worked out this system long ago, after many months of fighting.

So now you’ve met all the Beet Babies: Josie, Ashley, Maxwell and Leo. I know, I know, I’m raising a small zoo, but I’m a very maternal person and it makes me very happy to take care of all of them. I love them all very much!