First: I would like to sincerely thank all of you who left me advice about puppy ownership on my first post about Charlie. I read all of the comments — more than once — and I genuinely appreciate the time some of you took to leave me thorough advice about raising and training Charlie. It’s been very useful.
Second: Yes. I am going to be one of those obnoxious people who blogs about their dog. Why? Because this is my blog and I am obsessed with this dog and I’ll blog about him if I see fit. If you don’t like it, skip that post.
In fact, I am rapidly becoming one of those obnoxious dog people in general. Charlie comes everywhere with me. I nearly had to reschedule my annual gynecologist appointment today because they wouldn’t let Charlie in the exam room. The secretary was like, “Um, Ma’am, you can’t take the dog in there with you.” And I was like “Why?” And she was like, “Look, it’s not that he’s not cute — he’s very cute — but we can’t allow dogs in the exam rooms.” And I was like, “Oh, he’s very well-behaved. He’ll be fine.” And she gives me this look that says, “Lady, they’re going to be putting metal objects inside your vagina in that room. Do you really want a fucking dog in there?” But instead she said “You can reschedule if you like.” And I thought about that, but then they won’t renew my birth control prescription and the guy I’m dating will have to wear a condom and his feelings about wearing condoms run somewhere parallel to my feelings about wearing nylons — I’ll do it if there’s a good reason, but I’m going to complain the whole damn time — so I agreed to leave Charlie outside.
They won’t let him in the grocery store, either. Something about health department regulations blah blah blah. The manager was basically like, “If he’s not a seeing-eye dog, he can’t come in.” Which gave me a brilliant idea. Once Charlie learns how to walk on a leash (we’re working on that), I’m going to get a pair of those ridiculous, huge dark eye-glasses that old blind people wear. Like the kind they give you when you get your eyes dilated. Then my little Shih-Tzu and I are going to waltz into the grocery store. And if the manager tries to say anything to me, I’m going to glance frantically around the room, like I’m trying to figure out what direction the voice is coming from, and be like, “Excuse me? I’m sorry, I’m not sure exactly where you are, but I rely on this dog to help me do the grocery shopping. I’ll starve to death if he can’t come in!” And we’ll see what the health department has to say about that.
Here’s more pics of Charlie.
And to celebrate these new photos, I’ve also included here the music video for *NSYNC’s “God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You,” because that’s how I feel about little Charlie.
I am an obnoxious dog owner and I am loving it!
April 1, 2008 at 1:56 am by Evil Beet
Brad Pitt already has his own production company. It’s called Plan B Productions. When it was originally founded, Jennifer Aniston was a partner. She split from the company after her marriage to Brad fell apart.
Now Jennifer has her own Plan B. I suppose Plan A was to be married, have a family, and live happily ever after. That didn’t work out so hot, so Jen just founded her own production company with friend Kristin Hahn. It’s called Echo Productions, and they’ve acquired the rights to the British bestseller Getting Rid of Matthew, among other projects.
Who needs a happy marriage or an Ethiopian baby when you can have your own production company?
Yay, women’s lib!
April 1, 2008 at 1:04 am by Evil Beet
Okay: What is wrong with Rosie O’Donnell’s face?
Is this some sort of disease?
Or did she just break out with adult-onset freckles?
You have to truly love someone to stay with them when their face looks like that. Although I guess we could have said that about Rosie even before the weird freckle thing.
And check out her hands! Was she in a bar fight?
Anyway, here’s Rosie and wife Kelli at the Sherie Renee Scott benefit concert in NYC.
April 1, 2008 at 12:54 am by Evil Beet
Someone just alerted me to the existence of YouPorn.com.
It’s still in Beta.
Master-beta, I imagine.
It’s very very NSFW.
April 1, 2008 at 12:34 am by Evil Beet
Here’s the charming and wonderful Buzz Aldrin and his wife, Lois, being adorable outside Cipriani.
Buzz Aldrin, in case you didn’t know, was the second person to set foot on the moon, immediately after Neil Armstrong. He was a childhood hero of mine, back when I dreamed I’d be an astronaut rather than a gossip blogger.
I had an unexpected opportunity to meet Mr. Aldrin several months ago. It was in a situation where I certainly was not planning to meet a man I so admired, and I was wearing a T-shirt from a pool hall/strip club that I’d stolen from an ex-boyfriend years ago. It had the silhouette of a naked woman on it, and something about racks written on it.
So I went up to Mr. Aldrin and said, “Hi, Mr. Aldrin. I saw you and I just had to come over and say hello. You were a childhood hero for me. I just wanted to shake your hand.”
And he seemed genuinely pleased to hear this, and shook my hand, and then he was like, “Young lady, what is on your shirt?” I was like, “Oh, it belonged to an ex-boyfriend of mine.” And he was like, “Well, it sure is a good thing he’s not your boyfriend anymore. What kind of a jerk buys a shirt like that? You’re better off without him.” And I was like “I love you, Mr. Aldrin.”
April 1, 2008 at 12:31 am by Evil Beet
I just think this is so funny. And by funny I of course mean aggravating.
Patrick Dempsey has signed onto a “fragrance partnership” with Avon.
“This is an extremely exciting opportunity for me to work with Avon — a brand I have long respected as a global powerhouse with a lot of heart and soul,” said Dempsey. “The brand reaches every corner of the globe with more than just high quality products — it creates economic empowerment for women through its earning opportunity, and has an excellent reputation for corporate philanthropy through their Avon Foundation. My wife Jillian has enjoyed her experience working with Avon, and I look forward to joining the family as well.”
OMG. Gag me with a spoon. “Economic empowerment?” Through its “earning opportunity?” Jesus Christ, people, go to fucking college. And why just women? Are men not allowed to be Avon reps? They’re certainly allowed to enter into fragrance partnerships with Avon.
I dunno, it’s not that Avon isn’t a good-hearted organization; I think what bothers me about this is that women don’t enter into “fragrance partnerships.” They launch perfume lines. But when a man gets involved the press release reads like JP Morgan Chase just took out a non-recourse loan from the Fed for him. Ridiculous.