Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Ali Lohan Thinks We Think Her Mom’s, Like, Respectable or Something

photo of ali lohan page six interview magazine pics 2011
Isn’t that a hoot? Ali says this about the public’s interest in her recent non-plastic surgery plastic surgery:

“I was cracking up. Because, like, when would I do that (surgery)? I’m 17 years old. That’s not legal! I would need my mother’s signature, and do you think my mom would sign off on that? No! Its not the right thing to do. It’s stupid. I don’t listen to it. Its absolutely not true.”

In the same interview with Page Six magazine, she also counters allegations that her drastic weight loss could possibly be attributed to drug use:

… Aliana insists she is the opposite of a wild child, she doesn’t drink or smoke, and, “I just say no [to drugs]. I’m lucky enough that I had my sister to learn from…I’ve seen people do it to her and I’ve learned to be like, ‘That’s stupid, no’. That’s why Lindsay and me are so close, because we’re able to talk about those things together.”

I don’t know. I’m just all ‘meh’ about this girl. She claims she’s a big girl, she’s grown up, she’s learned from her familial mistakes, and now she wants to be called by her given name, Aliana Lohan, but guys? I honestly just don’t give a shit enough about this girl (this Lohan) to make the effort to change her damn category tag to “Aliana Lohan.” It’s just not worth it to me – I’m sorry.

I Seriously Thought Ashton Kutcher Was Surrendering his Twitter. I Was Wrong.

photo of twitter ashton kutcher with a cow in the country pics
See that photo? That was posted on Ashton‘s Twitter page, complete with the caption “Country Giving,” whatever the hell that means. What’s he giving? Is he secluding himself in the sticks and giving up cheap, sell-out vadge for the upcoming Lenten season? Is he giving the cow in the background a rectal? Is he giving himself time to grow out that stupid, pube-looking beard?

What the hell, Ashton?

Courtney Stodden Talks About her Grandpa Husband and Other Important Things Like Mochas

Aw, now, isn’t that sweet? The life of a princess. Sleeping ’til noon, sexy outfits, hair and makeup done like what, mochas? She’s totally industrious, too, with that whole making-her-own-coffee thing. That’s pretty impressive. I have a damn hard time foaming my own milk, but Courtney here has apparently got the gig down pat. I see I have some stuff to catch up on, criminy.

Oh, also, I apologize profusely for the “two Courtney Stodden posts in one day” thing. Sometimes you just can’t help yourself, and folks, this is one of them. I simply couldn’t deprive you of the goodness and entertainment that is girlfriend’s whole-body facial tic.