Today's Evil Beet Gossip

America’s Newest Line of Defense: Heidi and Spencer

Honestly, when I first heard that Heidi and Spencer were planning on making a trip to Iraq, I was like “As a weapon?”

Are they just going to annoy the living daylights out of the enemy? Explode heads with the sheer force and relentlessness of their egos?

No, no.

Actually, Heidi plans to sing for the troops.

“My brother was an airborne ranger in Afghanistan and Iraq,” she said in an interview. “It’s very important to me and important to Spencer to support the troops and go over there.”

And they’re somehow dragging Meghan McCain into this mess, too.

“She’s very sweet,” Spencer said. “I think Meghan McCain is helping organize Heidi and our Iraq trip. Her dad definitely has some pull with the military. I think she’s going to put that together for us.”

Jesus Christ, how funny would it be if Heidi and Spencer single-handedly destroyed the John McCain campaign? Like, “Yeah, I was gonna vote for him, but if he’s gonna help promote Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, he clearly doesn’t have a clue about what’s in this country’s best interest.”

Also on the Speidi agenda: a video game. Yeah, you read that right. “It’s top secret,” Spencer says. “Get ready. All your wildest dreams are going to be in it.”

Oh, I hope so. I hope it’s a first-person shooter game. And I hope the targets are Heidi and Spencer. I would buy that game.

Clips from Jessica Simpson’s Country Thunder Performance

So some blogger chicks who were actually at Jessica Simpson’s Country Thunder show claim that Jessica was not booed — in fact, they say, the audience loved her and cheered her on, and here are some video clips to prove it.

She also told the crowd “I’m not making another pop record ever again!” And make sure to catch the part at the beginning where she says she almost “tinkled” she was so nervous before the show. Lovely.

Sienna Miller’s New Fling Is Soooo Sad That His Marriage Fell Apart

So very, very sad.

“The breakdown of a marriage is a very difficult and painful experience especially when children are involved,” Balthazar Getty said in a statement released Monday. “In light of the fact that many pictures have surfaced in print and on the Internet which has caused myself and my family great embarrassment, I felt it necessary to at least acknowledge publicly that yes indeed my wife and I have separated and I will not be commenting any further.”

Life is so tragic when you’re sucking on Sienna Miller’s tits on a beach all day.

Tragic indeed.

Jerry O’Connell Says He and Rebecca Romijn Are Trying to Get Pregnant

For those of you who are interested in the happy, drama-free (read: BORING) marriage of Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell, Jerry told reporters this weekend that the two of them are trying to make babies.

“We’re trying to get pregnant,” he said Saturday at the Playboy Mansion, where he showed up for Much Love Animal Rescue’s 2nd annual Bow Wow Wow event. “It would be amazing if it happened. I hope it does.”

Awww, anyone who lends their celebrity to helping animals deserves to be happy!

I love this couple, actually. I just wish they were a little more interesting.

Lindsay Lohan: Still a Working Girl!

Our Lindsay just wrapped filming on Labor Pains without a single report of her being late for her call time, disrupting filming, showing up high or drunk, hospitalization for “exhaustion” or any of the other things we’ve come to associate with Lindsay Lohan being on a film set.

To celebrate, Lindsay and girlfriend Samantha Ronson hit up a bunch of parties in the Hamptons, where, once again, we have NO REPORTS of Lindsay making frequent bathroom trips, throwing drinks at people, insisting other young women be kicked out of parties, driving drunk, or screaming at the waitstaff. Unbelievable.

Lindsay’s back on the East Coast to start filming another guest spot on Ugly Betty, where she’ll be reprising her role as Betty’s high-school nemesis.

Keep it up, Lindsay!!!