Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Expect a Lot More Naked Jacuzzi Make-Out Sessions on the Upcoming Season of Project Runway

Not only is the show moving to Lifetime and to Los Angeles, but it looks like Bunim-Murray will be taking over as its producer. That’s right, the people who brought you The Real World for the past 63 seasons are getting their puke-and-semen-covered hands all over my precious Project Runway.


The only glimmer of hope here is the distant possibility that one day we’ll have a Project Runway/Top Chef Challenge hit the air.

So Long, Once-Promising Career!

Remember Paris Bennett, the little belter who could from the fifth season of AmIdol? She was only sixteen when she first appeared on the show.

She’s nineteen now, and she’s pregnant.

No, not the married kind of pregnant. Just the pregnant kind of pregnant. She’s due in October, and she plans to name the little girl Egypt. Which is a stupid name but at least little Egypt won’t have to share her name with a trolloppy socialite. So that’s something.

She’s reportedly engaged, but no one will talk about who the guy is or what he does and the whole thing leads me to believe that she met him on Craigslist and the condom broke.

“I’m proud of how she did it. I was 16 when I got pregnant,” says her mother, Jamecia Bennett.

This statement makes my head explode.

What part of it, exactly, makes you proud? The fact that — even though she got knocked up out of wedlock and as a teenager — she held out for three years longer than you did? Are you proud because she was almost not a teen pregnancy statistic? Proud because your teenage daughter is fertile? Proud because she was doing it doggy-style? Proud because she could have had an education and a career and will now have to give up all these things — much like you did — to be a single mother? This is the stupidest statement in the world.

Congrats, Paris.

Alanis Takes the Gloves Off

Well, Leo and I are safely in NYC, checked into our gorgeous hotel room in Chelsea, where Leo promptly pooped in front of the bellhop and then knocked his food bowl all over the room. I was like, “Uh, he’s not normally like this …” He was pretty quiet on the plane flight but I think the whole thing has been stressful for him. Maybe he just misses the cats, ha ha!

Anyway I was thrilled to find this clip of Alanis Morissette on Howard Stern. She won’t go so far as to actually talk shit about Ryan Reynolds, but there’s certainly the implication that she thinks he’s a worthless piece of shit. You know, I kind of like how this whole thing has really knocked Alanis down a peg. I was getting really sick of her whole “I’m so spiritual and life is beautiful and don’t you wish you were this spiritual?” act. She admits herself in this interview that the whole thing worked great in philosophy but not so hot in practice. But she’s much easier to listen to in interviews now that she seems to have realized that she’s every bit as human as anybody else.

New York, New York!

And we’re off!

Leo and I are leaving early Sunday morning for our big trip to NYC. Leo in the City! It’s Leo’s first plane flight, and he’s very excited. He’s been running around the house all day barking to the cats about it. They are less excited, although they are delighted that they’ll have the house to themselves for a few days, without Leo’s face in their asses at all times.

I went to Petco today to get Leo a special travel carrier, and they had these adorable doggy shirts for Fourth of July. So now Leo has a new shirt that says “American Born and Bred” and he is going to wear it for the Fourth whether he likes it or not (note: he will not like it).

Anyway posting will be non-existent on Sunday, but I’ll be back for late-night Sunday and back full-time on Monday.


That is how far I got into this interview Michael Lohan did on Chelsea Handler’s show before the nausea and fury got to be too much.

Can you beat my time?

I think he’s wearing a SCRAM bracelet, too. Chelsea mentions there’s something in his sock at the beginning of the interview and he gets all weird about it and she changes the subject.

God, he’s just so despicable in so many ways. Normally I love that Chelsea is so kind to all her interviewees, but this time it just pissed me off. I wanted to be like “CHEW INTO HIM, CHELSEA! I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!”

Oh, and another fun fact: in his formal “statement” announcing that he may have another child, Michael refers to the baby-mama as “Christie.” Her name is actually spelled “Kristi.” Which, like, okay, it’s been awhile since you’ve fucked her and all, but if you’re currently going through a paternity battle (as you claim you are), wouldn’t you have seen her name written more recently?

Michael Lohan, you’re an idiot.