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40Women: Our Orgasms Are Smarter Than Men’s, Too

Wow. A study of women in China reveals that women report having more orgasms when the men they are married to are richer.

This result cannot be explained by possible confounds such as women’s age, health, happiness, educational attainment, relationship duration, wealth difference between the partners, difference between the partners in educational attainment, and regional location. It appears consistent with the view that female orgasm has an evolved adaptive function.

Let me reiterate: The female orgasm has an evolved adaptive function.

Meaning our orgasms know it’s go time when the dudes we’re with have money. Suck in that sperm, pop out that baby, lock down that cash for us and our kiddo.

Dudes will just rub one out into a goat if you’ll let ‘em. Women are soooo much more sophisticated.

Thanks Ines!

January 19, 2009 at 3:52 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

58They’re Vegan, Too!

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My goodness, I am quite the trend-setter.

I decided back in November that I was going to go vegan, and now it appears Portia de Rossi and Ellen Degeneres have made the same choice.

Former Ally McBeal star De Rossi reveals she and her wife went meat and dairy-free late last year – and De Generes’ healthy diet choice is already paying off for her.

The actress explains, “We just made that shift in our lives. The benefit of it is weight loss. For her more than me. Her body responded to it very well. It is amazing.

“We are just both very happy. It feels like such a compassionate choice. We are such animal lovers, why stop short of cows and chickens? It didn’t make any sense.”

I would highly recommend going vegan, or at least trying to eat vegan a couple days out of the week. Not only will you probably lose weight, your skin will clear up and you’ll feel a lot better physically and emotionally. It is healthier for animals, for the environment, and for you! If you want a quick, easy read on the advantages of veganism, pick up Skinny Bitch. If you want to hear the scientific facts and studies, and you are prepared for a denser read, pick up The China Study.

January 19, 2009 at 3:35 pm by Evil Beet

25Can We Send Her to Porn-hab?

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Miss USA 1991 wants her vagina to win Miss Congeniality!

It’s being friendly to EVERYONE in her upcoming porn flick, Faithless.

“I enjoy acting, and I really like sex,” says Kelli McCarty, “so this was the perfect opportunity to combine two of my passions. I approached Vivid with the idea of shooting a film with a sexy but interesting storyline, and I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of control I was given throughout the production process. I am very pleased with the final edit of Faithless, and I just may do another adult film.”

I can’t believe they’re ADVERTISING that she was Miss USA in the ads for it.

I betcha Donald Trump’s gonna sue over that shit. This is not how he wants his precious brand used.

January 19, 2009 at 2:00 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Kelli McCarty

13Kelly Osbourne Arrested for Assault!

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Okay, okay, so the actual event happened last summer — what took Scotland Yard so long to investigate?

Kelly Osbourne has been arrested for allegedly slapping a journalist in a London nightclub last summer.

The 24-year-old daughter of Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne was released on bail as inquiries continue. She is scheduled to return to see authorities in March.

The allegations stem from a claim that Osbourne hit gossip columnist Zoe Griffin after Griffin wrote an article mocking Osbourne’s model boyfriend Luke Worrall. In a piece last August in the U.K. newspaper The Mirror, Griffin wrote that she was approached in Punk nightclub by Osbourne, who took issue with a story Griffin had written saying Worrall had to ask how an earthquake was caused.

Griffin quoted her saying, “I have an issue with you. My boyfriend knows what an earthquake is and everyone has been laughing at him and he’s upset.”

As the conversation drew to a close, Griffin wrote, “That’s when I felt a hard slap to my right cheekbone.”

I’m sorry, I’m such a dork, but all I can think while reading this is “Didn’t this guy have to learn about tectonic plates in school?” I was not much of a science kid in school, and, to be honest, the only damn thing I remember from any of my science classes was about how tectonic plate shifts cause earthquakes and volcanoes and mountains. I feel like that’s all they taught us every week. It’s really all I can recall.

That’s not true, I remember one more thing: We had to dissect a grasshopper once, and my friend Rebecca and I, who were lab partners, didn’t really have the heart to cut into our poor grasshopper. This was right after that Heaven’s Gate mass suicide, so instead we covered him in purple construction paper and made little black construction-paper Nikes and taped them to his many feet and told Mr. Anton that we couldn’t dissect him because he had to meet his comet. He was our Heaven’s Gate Grasshopper.

I didn’t excel in my science classes, needless to say. BUT I WAS ALWAYS FUNNY.

What’s the point here? Oh, right, okay. This whole thing is totally dumb because asking what causes an earthquake is not the same as not knowing what an earthquake is. Also everyone should know what causes an earthquake because, as far as I can tell, it’s the only thing they teach in high-school science these days.

January 19, 2009 at 1:55 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Kelly Osbourne

9Happy Martin Luther King Day, Bitches!!!

WASSUP YOU GUYS???

Sorry I have been gone forevah-evah, but a big huge THANK YOU to Wendie for covering for me as I ran 13.1 miles in the Arizona Rock ‘N’ Roll half-marathon yesterday. I have made so many positive and healthy changes in my life the past year, and this was really the culmination of it, and I am so proud of myself for finishing. Honestly, you guys, if I can do this, anyone can. Deciding to do this half-marathon, and training for it, has really changed my life for the better. It has helped build my self-confidence and my physical and emotional strength, and I would recommend it to anyone looking to make a big change in the way their life works.

And is everyone psyched for the inauguration of President-elect Obama tomorrow? How freakin’ awesome is it that MLK Day immediately precedes it? The timing is just perfect. I’m so excited!

What are you guys doing tomorrow for inauguration night?

Does anyone know of anything going on in Scottsdale? I have no plans and I definitely want to be a part of some festivities!!!

January 19, 2009 at 1:46 pm by Evil Beet

17President-elect Obama is Basically King Midas

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Looks like the lovebirds may be back on, if they were even off to begin with, and they owe it all to Obama.  Sam Ronson, working as the DJ at the Declare Yourself event in Washington D.C., is hanging in the booth with Linds.  Witnesses say that they are very much together as they appear at various pre-inaugural events and celebrations.  

I, for one, am glad to hear that the dramz is not over just yet.  Whew, national crisis averted.  Thanks Obama!

January 19, 2009 at 12:16 pm by Wendie