Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Lindsay "Lowen" Shills for ProActiv

A daily coke habit gets expensive. Below, La Lohan makes her ProActiv debut, with only the slightest hint of disgust and resentment in her voice. Seriously, why is she doing this ad? Does...

I Have Sprained My Toe

The second one from the left on my right foot. Unbelievable. I walk with a limp now. 50 Cent shakes his head, mutters something inaudible, walks off…

Shannon’s Kind of Hit-or-Miss

But this one’s out of the ballpark. I love this girl. Since blogs began to replace mainstream news media for most of the sub-30 set, we’ve lost touch, I think, with the blogs of...

Drugs Are Bad, Mm-kay?

This 19-year-old self-described “Bridge Troll” was arrested last week after demanding a $1 fee from joggers and bikers wanting to cross his bridge. It later came out that he was...

Breaking: Americans Are Getting Fatter!

When I hear about this sort of thing, I tend to tune it out. I live on LA’s Westside, hang out in South Bay and venture occasionally into Hollywood if someone else is driving. These...

My Cats Are Totally Bulimic

It’s true. I swear. I always said that if we continued to talk about how fat they were while they were in the room, they would eventually develop a complex; they did, and it...

Et Tu, Britney?

Does anyone else feel betrayed by her lately? Maybe it’s just me. I used to feel such a kinship with her. When she first came out with “…Baby One More Time,” the...

Everyone in LA Has a Screenplay

This is not entirely true. To be fair, some of them just have a pilot. But they are all very, very good pilots — kind of like Sex and the City meets Entourage — and they all...