Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Jerry Seinfeld To Launch Reality TV Series

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Jerry’s back with a new show based on marriage.  With the working title of The Marriage Ref, it has one of the most terrifying concepts I’ve heard in awhile.  Picture this:  celebrities and athletes will observe couples in the midst of marital discord and-I’m not sure if I can even communicate this with a straight face-counsel and advise the married folk on how to solve their issues.

I personally would consider any relationship advice doled out by a celebrity or athlete the equivalent of inviting dysentery into my life.

Kate Walsh Says She’s A Wharf Rat. I Can See That.

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Hey, I didn’t call her a “wharf rat.”  I’m just trying to be supportive and agreeable here!

Private Practice star, Kate Walsh appears in the March issue of Redbook and talks about the dissolution of her marriage.  This is it in a nutshell:  When she got married, she didn’t think she would be getting divorced.  She is known for being very persistent and trying, trying, trying.  She got divorced after fifteen months.  She still cares about her ex-husband.  She was sad.  She’s dating.  She’s an insecure and desperate, quivering wharf rat.  She wishes she could call guys and hang up but can’t because of caller ID.  She longs for the days of being able to stalk dudes.

Kate obviously hasn’t heard of Facebook.  Because I stalk my legions of exes on there.  I love when they look really bad and defeated by life.  Oh, I meant to say that I hope they are happy.  Sigh…see why I could never be a celebrity?

Paula Abdul Doesn’t Idolize Kara DioGuardi

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You know how Paula Abdul always appears completely whacked out of her mind on American Idol?  It can no longer be blamed on drugs.  Nope, the Paula you are watching this season is like a pile of fine Colombian-pure and unaltered.

In an OK! interview, Paula tells of the surgery she had this past summer that has changed her life:

For the first time in 12 years, I am pain free. I had my 15th surgery to correct my back and neck problems last August and it worked. Finally! I had a new doctor who tried a new procedure and because of that I’m a new woman. I may have to have one more surgery in the spring but after all this, I can handle it.

Not only is she pain-free, she’s (allegedly!) drug-free as well.  And her audience has noticed the difference (?):

Not only am I pain free, but I am pain-medication free. I weaned myself off everything I’d been taking. There were times in the last few years when I was at an American Idol taping and was in so much agony, I’d tell the guys I wasn’t sure I could do it. It’s great to know that viewers can see how much better I am now.

In addition, Paula feels that new judge Kara DioGuardi doesn’t fit in:  “Kara and I have known each other for years and we get along great.  But we tried four judges before and it doesn’t work. It takes up so much time for each of us to give our opinion that it slows down the pace of the show.

This is the last year of Paula’s contract and she has indicated that she may be moving on.  Translation:  the one and only reason to watch American Idol is about to leave the building.

Albatross judge, Kara, released a statement, as if we’d expect anything else:  “Paula has a right to her opinions, but I was disappointed by her comments, and hurt that she did not address them to me in person.”

She also suggested a sing-off between the two.  Okay.  Not really.

American Idol (Mini) Recap: The Second 12

Sooooo, the U.S. government totally screwed me over by scheduling Obama’s speech on Tuesday. Idol had to move to Wednesday, and I was not expecting that. I had a bunch of other stuff scheduled for tonight, so I won’t be able to do the typical long-form Idol recap this week. But DON’T WORRY. I have plenty to say, and I’m going to make my points, I’ll just do it in shorter form. Here are my thoughts:

1) I think it’s interesting that they didn’t interview the contestants’ families on the red couch like they did last week. It was SO ANNOYING and it didn’t work AT ALL, and the producers obviously noticed that and implemented the change right away. THANK GOODNESS.

2) After seven seasons of having the judges talk in the order of Randy, Paula, Simon, now they’re switching it up so a different judge starts each time. I don’t quite get that. I liked that Simon always went last. I wonder whose idea it was to make that change. Kara’s?

3) I cannot believe how drugged up Paula is. Cannot believe it. Doesn’t she ever watch the tapes of herself and realize how ridiculous she looks? It’s mind-blowing that they keep renewing her contract so that she can go on live television and slur like the underage girl in the bar five minutes before she flashes the bartender.

4) Kara’s bracelet tonight? Is totally from Nicole Richie’s House of Harlow line. It’s on the Kitson website here. I turned to my friend the first instant they showed Kara and said, “I know that bracelet. It’s from Nicole Richie’s line.” And for that I am duly ashamed.

5) Allison Iraheta is probably going to win this whole competition. Un. Fucking. Believable. For a sixteen-year-old? What a natural. I’m in love. She even looks a little like Kelly Clarkson, and she came out of nowhere and gave me chills, just like Kelly did during her very first Idol performance. She’s definitely my favorite so far.

6) I really don’t think Megan Joy Corkrey is very good at all. Her performance was awful and the way she bops around on stage is embarrassing. I think the judges went easy on her because she’s so pretty, and we lost Casey Carlson last week, and it’s important for ratings that we have a total hottie in the Top 12. They should have torn her a new asshole, but they’re secretly hoping she sticks around to be eye candy.

7) I find Jesse Langseth to be super duper annoying. And I can’t believe the judges commented on how her look was an improvement. WTF did she look like before? That one-shoulder shirt was cheap and ugly and she was wearing the wrong bra — her tits were practically down around her waist.

8) So is Adam Lambert gay or what?

9) Love Nick Mitchell. LOVE him. (Not as much as I love Allison though.)

10) Jeanine Vailes is the reason they invented rhinoplasty. The instant she gets booted off the show tomorrow, that girl needs to run, not walk, to the nearest plastic surgeon and get that shit taken care of.

In summary, I think the three that get through will be Allison, Nick and Adam. I have a feeling we’re going to be looking at a male-intensive Top 12 this year, unless the producers pull some strings and make sure the wild cards are all girls, which I’m sure is exactly what they’re going to do.

Who did you guys vote for?

I Didn’t Know Freddie Prinze Jr Was Writing for the WWE, but Now I Know He’s Not

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The former actor, who used to have a career that mattered, has apparently been writing storylines for the WWE recently, but word on the street is that he got fired for leaking storylines to the press.

The official reason for his release is that he couldn’t keep up with the demanding schedule, but inside sources say Vince McMahon was furious with the amount of information being leaked to the press, and he thought Freddie might be involved.

Wow, Freddie must be pretty desperate for work. His only films last year were the indie flop Jack & Jill vs. The World and the animated Delgo, which was the lowest-earning wide-release film ever. And he’s got nada on the agenda for 2009. His wife, Sarah Michelle Gellar, hasn’t been doing much better career-wise either. They can fade into obscurity together! How quaint!

Thanks Jason!

Lindsay and Sam Reschedule Valentine’s Day Gig

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Good news!

Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan have rescheduled the gig they flaked out on due to hangovers illness on Valentine’s Day.

The duo will host and DJ at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel on March 7 — and tickets are only $20!

Here’s a shot of Samantha and Lindsay holding hands as they left Samantha’s acoustic gig at Genghis Khan last night. For video of Samantha performing earlier that night, click here.

Our President Brings in the Ratings!


Turns out something on this planet can compete with American Idol!

Barack Obama’s first speech to Congress was a ratings win, bringing in 52.4 million viewers across cable and broadcast networks. VERY impressive, Mr. President!

Whatever. I’m still bitter than they moved Idol for this speech. It just messes up my whole week to have Idol airing Wednesday/Thursday. Don’t you think the country should have to vote on things like this? Why couldn’t Obama have given this speech on Monday? How do I watch Top Chef and Idol tonight? And do my recap?? It’s like nobody thinks about my needs anymore.

You can watch President’s full address in the video above.