Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Real Kanye West And Rihanna Video

Last week Kanye West’s new video for his song Paranoia was posted on his blog, but apparently it wasn’t quite ready for human consumption.  This probably explains why Beet and everyone else didn’t understand what the video was all about when it was originally broadcast last week.

West wrote, “It hurts me to see the old and very wrong version of the ‘Paranoid’ video get leaked all over the net while I was on an 11-hour flight and couldn’t do anything about it. It’s just frustrating when this stuff happens because I really care about the product and, since videos never get played anyway, you might as well tweak them and make them as special as possible.”  Now, I’m not sure how a video can be “leaked all over the net” when it was embedded on his own blog, and I can’t help but think that Kanye West needs an assistant to handle his website maintenance, but really I was just relieved that he temporarily STOPPED WRITING EVERYTHING IN CAPS.

Anyway, now it has been released for real.  Rihanna doesn’t sing but gets lots of camera time.

Caption This

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Tracy Morgan on the set of A Couple Of Cops.  Isn’t it amazing how sometimes one picture can confirm your suspicion that a movie is going to be a total flop?  A flip phone flop if you will…

Brangelina Splits! Again!

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I make it a policy to only report every tenth “Brad and Angelina Are Over!” story that gets floated out to the internet and today is that day.

As the Enquirer reports it in their Breaking News section, Brangie’s appearance at Cannes was staged for the media in hopes that no one would know that the truth:  they are ovah! 

After months of behind-the-scenes battles, it’s finally over between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.

Hollywood’s most glamorous power couple – who never married despite having six children – have grown tired of trying to gloss over their problems following five tumultuous years together, say sources.

Brad and Angelina are going their separate ways with the hope of reuniting in the future if they can repair their volatile relationship, disclosed an insider.

“They will make it official. It looks like Brad will be shooting two movies in California and in the Amazon, while Angelina is retreating to their French chateau with the rest of the family.

“It’s an official split.”

Listen, this is all crap.  I just report these stories as a trial run for the real deal.  Of course, when the inevitable break-up actually does happen, it’s not like any of us will believe it. 

To recap:  Brangie aren’t pregnant, adopting, broken up or interesting.

This Is The Fault Of Those Olsen Twins

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Miley Cyrus is the newest in a long line of teen singers/actresses to launch a new clothing line for Wal-Mart.  She has teamed up with famed designer Max Azria to offer a collection of dresses, tops, shoes and — what else? — leggings, that will be available in time for back-to-school shopping.  Everything will cost under $20 and will undoubtedly be crafted by seven-year-old sweatshop workers.

Seriously, though.  Taylor Swift has a line of dresses, The Jonas brothers have some sweater vests they peddle, and now Miley is on the fashion merchandising bandwagon.  This whole Poly-Talented Child Star requirement really all started with those little Olsens, didn’t it?  They were on Full House and before you knew it they were making movies, CDs, then they showed up on tubes of lip gloss, t-shirts, tennis sneakers, etc.  Then again, today those chicks charge and get $1700 for a pair of pants, so perhaps Miley Cyrus is just a brilliant business woman.

I Take Back My Apology

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You know what?  I tried being nice to Melissa Joan Hart, but it’s just not working for me.  Yeah, she lost a bunch of weight and yeah, she opened up a candy store but she’s not a nice person.  I think, on some level, I knew that.  Therefore, I’m back to using the most unflattering pictures of her that I can find.

New York Post is reporting that Hart was telling people at KTLA in Los Angeles that she’d been hoping Farrah Fawcett wouldn’t die last week because then she’d be bumped off the cover of People. 

A couple of things here:  Melissa Joan Hart should be grateful that People even wrote an article about her.  As a matter of fact, MJH should be grateful that she’s even permitted to live in the Hollywood area.  Secondly, Melissa had nothing to worry about it.  People makes it a practice to leave irrelevant bottle-blonds on the cover, even when television legends die.

Leann Rimes: Married White Female

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It was only a couple of months ago that actor Eddie Cibrian was sucking Leann Rimes’ fingers.  Us Weekly got it all on video and the two “stars” parted ways.

Since then, Eddie and his wife, Brandi Glanville have been being photographed all over Hollywood with their pelves firmly pressed together, sending a message of unity.

Now Brandi is talking to Us Weekly, because they’ve been so helpful to date regarding her marriage, and she wants everyone to know that Leann is a nut.

“LeAnn is a stalker,” Glanville tells Us. “She refuses to leave us alone — it is shameful and scary. People are going to say it takes two to tango and I get that, but at some point LeAnn needs to stop asking him to dance.”

Glanville, a model (and mother of Mason, 6, and Jake, 2) alleges that Rimes (who was caught on video sucking Cibrian’s finger during a date) intentionally tracked down her husband at a L.A. Lakers game on May 17 — two weeks after he changed his phone number to end her “constant texting and calling.”

Glanville says Rimes’ motivation for her “disgusting” behavior is to get back in the limelight.

Adds Glanville, “She’s hurting my family and messing with the wrong mom.”

Gee, Leann.  Why don’t you leave Eddie alone and concentrate on having sex with your own husband?  Oh, wait…