Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Willow and Jaden Smith are absolutely bonkers

willow smith jaden smith

Willow and Jaden Smith, children of Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith, aged 14 and 16, have actually lost their damn minds. They teamed up for a new interview with The New York Times’ T Magazine that will make every synapse in your brain misfire with its sheer insanity. I can’t even tell you what they talk about in the interview because none of it means anything. I suppose, in essence, they’re discussing life, time, the spiritual world… but even then, that’s a stretch. Without further ado, I’ll just share some excerpts:

I’m curious about your experience of time. Do you feel like life is moving really quickly? Is your music one way to sort of turn it over and reflect on it?

WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.

JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.

WILLOW: Because living.

JADEN: Right, because you have to live. There’s a theoretical physicist inside all of our minds, and you can talk and talk, but it’s living.

WILLOW: It’s the action of it.

JADEN: Exactly. Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it’s not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness. And you can’t listen to your mind in those times — it’ll tell you what you think and also what other people think.

I… you… it’s… what? I don’t understand! Maybe that’s the problem, though. I mean, THEY seem to understand. They even have thoughts on babies!

WILLOW: Breathing is meditation; life is a meditation. You have to breathe in order to live, so breathing is how you get in touch with the sacred space of your heart.

JADEN: When babies are born, their soft spots bump: It has, like, a heartbeat in it. That’s because energy is coming through their body, up and down.

WILLOW: Prana energy.

JADEN: It’s prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach. They remember. Babies remember.

WILLOW: When they’re in the stomach, they’re so aware, putting all their bones together, putting all their ligaments together. But they’re shocked by this harsh world.

JADEN: By the chemicals and things, and then slowly…

WILLOW: As they grow up, they start losing.

JADEN: You know, they become just like us.

Welp, I’m out of here. I officially don’t know what in the hell is going on anymore.

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Amanda Bynes is sorry you found out about her wanting to murder her dad

amanda bynes

Look, I know Amanda Bynes is seriously mentally ill and in need of real, sustained help, but this is a celebrity gossip site and she is a celebrity. We’re reporting on it, okay? Okay. Last weekend her roommates released some audio recording of Amanda fantasizing about how she wants to kill her dad, and that made it clearer than ever that the girl is not only a danger to others, but to herself, as well. Things have finally gone too far for Amanda, and she’s decided to release a statement (to Access Hollywood, of all places) on the recordings.

“I’m sorry I trusted people who clearly were not my friends and capitalized on my illness. I am doing my best to get better. I am truly sorry for the statements I made. I am sorry for any pain I caused my family and others,” Amanda said in a statement released to Access by her attorney, David Esquibias.

“I am thankful for everyone’s patience and understanding. I never expected others to take advantage and profit from my condition. I’m disappointed with those who lulled me into a false sense of security only to find out they really are only interested in selling my privacy to the media.”

I mean, obviously these “friends” she was staying with are scumbags and she should get away from them (and into a mental health facility, but that’s neither here nor there), but also… she clearly was talking about hurting her family. While she later tweeted that she was “joking” (no doubt on the advice of her attorney), sorry… no one jokes about that. Especially not when they have a publicly acrimonious relationship with their parents. Someone get her some help soon, seriously.

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Kim Kardashian is buying a private island to build North West a theme park

kim kardashian north west

Ah, how the rich live. So dumb, so pointless. Kim Kardashian and Kanye West apparently have so much money between them, that they want to buy a private island off the coast of Australia on which they can build a Neverland-like theme park for their daughter, North West.

From The Mirror:

She is known to shower her only child with lavish gifts while they jet-set around the world together, but Kim Kardashian’s daughter North now reportedly looks set to get own private theme park to play around in.

According to New Idea magazine, the curvaceous TV star is secretly looking into purchasing Turtle Island in Queensland, Australia, for the sum of $5 million AUD.

The publication goes onto to state that Kim will most likely rename the idyllic location Isle Kardashian, which is said to boast views of the Great Barrier Reef.

Private Islands Online says the property in question is fit for a “movie star or recluse celebrity”, and includes a four-bedroom mansion, helipad, botanical gardens and a swimming pool.

Meanwhile, New Idea suggests Nori could soon be enjoying her own water slide and ferris wheel.

Huh. That seems like a colossal waste of money, but then, so’s everything else these idiots do, so…

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Do you want to build a meth lab?

walter

If there’s one thing the internet loves, it’s mashups, and I’m not quite sure why. Two of the most popular pieces of entertainment that people love to mash shit with are Breaking Bad and Frozen. But what if you put them together? What then? Well, you come up with ‘Do You Want to Build a Meth Lab?’ and the results are… well, you decide:

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Newsflash: Jennifer Lawrence is pretty gross

jennifer lawrence liam hemsworth hunger games

Jennifer Lawrence has become a national treasure over the past several years. She’s a great actress, but she’s also not part of the snooty Hollywood crowd – not really. She’s one of us. She loves eating real food and sometimes she shits herself. Don’t we all? I mean… or something. Speaking of eating, her Hunger Games co-star Liam Hemsworth revealed something rather unpleasant about JLaw’s habits during an interview on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon on Friday night.

You know how Jennifer and Liam had to share some passionate moments as Katniss and Gale in The Hunger Games? Well, before they’d get started, Jennifer would make sure to eat something disgusting to have AWFUL breath for their special moment.

“Anytime I had to kiss Jennifer was pretty uncomfortable.”

“When you look at it on the outside, it looks like a great picture. She’s one of my best friends, I love her, but if we had a kissing scene, she would make a point of eating garlic or tuna fish or something that was disgusting. Right before the scene she’d be like, ‘Yeah, I ate tuna’ or ‘I had garlic, and I didn’t brush my teeth.’ And I’d be like, ‘Fantastic, I can’t wait to get in there and taste it!’”

Sounds charming! Except not. I can dig Jennifer Lawrence, but that’s just disgusting. “Funny”? Eh, I guess depends on who you ask.

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The Daily Links

ben affleck

Ben Affleck and his penis went to the Hollywood Film Awards [Lainey Gossip]

Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka are adorable for London Fog [Socialite Life]

What the hell was Victoria Justice wearing at the Nickelodeon Halo awards? [Moe Jackson]

Kristen Stewart has graced the world with another nip slip [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

Megan Fox looks really hot in her skin-tight jeans – damn! [Popoholic]

Well, kudos to Lisa Rinna for being totally predictable, anyway [Celebslam]

Kourtney Kardashian‘s baby shower was a pyjama party at IHOP [Too Fab]

Dakota Johnson went fully topless while in Italy and here are pics [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Surprise! Katherine Heigl is “terrible” at politics – is anyone surprised? [I'm Not Obsessed]

Let’s see what our beloved Taylor Swift was actually like in high school [The Blemish]

You know you want to win a free Aretha Franklin CD! [PopBytes]

George and Amal Clooney want to adopt from a “war-torn country” [Celebitchy]

Diem Brown‘s family remember her life and legacy after her death [The Frisky]

Let’s admire Carrie Underwood‘s killer pregnancy style [theBERRY]

Donald Trump just paid for another expensive wedding [Romance Beat]

Anastasia Ashley went surfing in Ireland and it was hot [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Is everyone ready for the new Band Aid video? It’s here! [Celebuzz]

Mike Comrie took his son with Hilary Duff to the park [ICYDK]

Nick Jonas created that Kim Kardashian ass shot and it’s weird [Socialite Life]

Here’s your Top 3 supermodel Instagram accounts this week [Moe Jackson]

Johnny Depp may have been very drunk when accepting his award [Lainey Gossip]

You have to enjoy a little Jennifer Lawrence in workout gear [Popoholic]

Charli XCX showed some nipple on stage, surprise! [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

Ariana Grande‘s sexy schoolgirl schtick is getting old already [Celebslam]

Lady Gaga really dressed down for a bike ride – she looks great! [Too Fab]

How do you bond with your baby bump? Vanessa Lachey has ideas [I'm Not Obsessed]

The cast of ‘The Hunger Games’ sang ‘Shake It Off’ on SNL [The Blemish]

Have a look at Miley Cyrus‘ ass in pantyhose [Drunken Stepfather - NSFW]

Kathy Griffin might take Joan Rivers‘ place on ‘Fashion Police’ [PopBytes]

Sir Mix-a-Lot reveals which celeb inspired ‘Baby Got Back’ [The Frisky]

You’d almost feel bad for cutting into these cakes… but not really! [Romance Beat]

Mama June thinks she might have cancer now [Celebitchy]

Benedict Cumberbatch is really good at celebrity impressions [theBERRY]

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are looking gorgeous in Syndey [Celebuzz]

Hollywood really loves fingering females :( [Taxi Driver Movie - NSFW]

Bill Cosby doesn’t want to talk about those rape allegations

bill cosby

Until recently, most people weren’t aware of the fact that Bill Cosby had several allegations of rape and sexual assault against him. The number of women claiming that they were abused by Cosby is at about 20 now – all different women from different places, of different ages and who encountered him at different times – and it took a joke from a recent Hannibal Burress stand-up routine to get anyone talking about it again. One person who doesn’t want to talk about it, unfortunately, is Cosby himself.

During an interview on NPR last week about an unrelated project, host Simon Scott asked Cosby for his response to the allegations brought against him. His response? Sit and stare silently while shaking his head. Seriously.

According to host Scott Simon, Cosby shook his head and didn’t say a word.

Cosby and his wife Camille had been discussing their collection of African art on NPR’s Weekend Edition.

Simon prodded: “There are people who love you who might like to hear from you about this. I want to give you the chance.” But Cosby stayed quiet. (via HP)

Wow. Of course, people wanted to know why, if Cosby was an innocent man who 20 random women just decided to lie about because they had nothing better to do with their days, he didn’t defend himself. Well, he’s got a lawyer to do that for him, now (via TMZ):

Cosby’s lawyer says, “Over the last several weeks, decade-old, discredited allegations against Mr. Cosby have resurfaced. The fact that they are being repeated does not make them true.”

The lawyer adds, “Mr. Cosby does not intend to dignify these allegations with any comment. He would like to thank all his fans for the outpouring of support and assure them that, at age 77, he is doing his best work.”

Uh, in what world does this dude live? I mean, I know Cosby is paying him to say nice shit and basically try and defend his honour, but “he’s doing his best work”???? Yeah, okay.

It’s a shame that people are so reticent to believe something so blatant, simply because Cosby was a beloved TV and family figure from our pasts. Jimmy Saville was one of the most charitable and well-known performers in England, and it only came to light after his death just how vile and disgusting he was and how many children and teenage girls had their lives ruined by his predatory sexual abuse. Sorry, Cosby is no longer a national hero – and it’s clear as these allegations come out that he never was. Just because we don’t want to believe it doesn’t mean it’s not true. Too bad he’ll probably kick the bucket before he has to pay for any of his crimes.

I understand that we live in an “innocent until proven guilty” country, and that’s fine – maybe there’s a tiny sliver of a chance that ALL of these women made up random stories about being abused by Cosby just for fun and because they’re sad and pathetic. The fact that many of their narratives are shockingly similar – despite not knowing one another and never having met – is a total coincidence! Cosby is innocent! But sorry, I just don’t think so. He had the access and the status to take advantage of women and he did it, and that makes him disgusting.

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