Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Olivia Wilde shares her workout tips in the new issue of SHAPE

olivia wilde

Olivia Wilde had a baby not too long ago – almost a year ago, which sounds longer than I’d have expected in writing it, but it’s not REALLY that long ago. Anyway, she’s been doing the whole breastfeeding thing and spending time with her little one and totally not at all worrying about ~bouncing back~ to society’s standards of what’s acceptable for post-childbirth bodies. Of course, she looks absolutely amazing and is, in fact, completely back to her pre-pregnancy body to the naked eye, but that’s neither here nor there.

For her April 2015 SHAPE Magazine cover feature, Olivia wanted to turn things on the head by writing the feature herself to get real about health and fitness. Here are some great quotes:

On her post-baby physique: “I am not in perfect shape. In fact, I’m softer than I’ve ever been, including that unfortunate semester in high school when I simultaneously discovered Krispy Kreme and pot. The photos of me in this magazine have been generously constructed to show my best angles, and I assure you, good lighting has been warmly embraced. The truth is, I’m a mother, and I look like one.”

On the first weeks of motherhood: “First of all, you haven’t seen your vagina in months, even though it’s all her fault you’re in this situation. Now that you can finally confirm that she is, in fact, still there, she isn’t the gal that you remember, and would rather you back off and give her some space (and an ice diaper) for the time being, thank you very much.”

On getting back in the workout groove: “If I wasn’t at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man—and by ‘party’ I mean, of course, endless rounds of the ‘Itsy Bitsy Spider.’ Also, I like beer. And pizza. And these two ingredients are not found in the purely fictional book I like to call How to Look Like You Never Made a Human: A Guide to Socially Acceptable Motherhood.”

Well, isn’t she lovely (or at the very least, completely inoffensive and rather pleasant)?

Scans of the entire feature – which includes a step-by-step of some insane hip hop workout thing that I don’t quite understand, but it seems to work for her – are below:

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Chris Brown is getting his own Vegas residency

chris brown

Las Vegas is where pop stars go to die (or at the very least, waltz slowly towards retirement), so I suppose it only makes sense that Chris Brown is the latest “musician” to be given a residency in the city. However, unlike his industry-mates like Celine Dion and Britney Spears, Chris won’t be performing in a legendary venue like Caesar’s Place or Planet Hollywood. Instead, he’ll be relegated to the illustrious Drai’s BeachClub & Nightclub. LOL, kewl scoop, dude.

From Vibe:

Breezy’s installment of the Drai’s LIVE concert series starts May 2, the same night of the highly anticipated Floyd Mayweather vs. Manny Pacquiao fight. To double up on the fun, the show launch will double as a pre-birthday celebration for Breezy, who’ll be turning 26.

The next set date in his residency is July 4th, but Drai’s LIVE will announce more dates in the coming weeks.

Well, I’m sure that’ll be a major sellout. Actually… it probably will be. Vegas is full of scumbags just like anywhere else and I’m sure the club’s capacity ain’t that big, so he might be in for something good. Why this asshole hasn’t been forced into exile by now (from the music industry if not from the world at large) is beyond me, but here we are.

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Kim Kardashian’s doctors told her she’s having too much sex

kim kardashian north west

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have been trying for a while now to get Kim pregnant with their second child, but to no avail. Clearly, God is trying to spare yet another child from being raised with these two as parents, but Kim’s not taking the hint. Instead, she and Kanye are having sex at least 10 times a day, and a doctor has finally told her she’s a hot ass mess (in so many words).

From Life & Style:

“The doctor said he thinks I’m having sex too much,” Kim revealed. “He said one time is more powerful .. so we’ve tried everything. The doctor said when I have sex, I have to lay down for like 10 to 20 minutes .. He said it takes 10 minutes for a sperm to swim up there.”

Kim is frustrated that pregnancy isn’t coming along as easy as she’d like. “Literally teenagers on meth get pregnant in two seconds. It’s crazy. When you don’t want to be pregnant, it happens,” Sighing, she added, “I’ve done everything so perfect to try and get pregnant. There’s a list of things you shouldn’t be doing and I was perfect for 8 to 10 months and now I don’t understand.” Now, she says, she’ll try a different method. “I’m going to do everything that I want to do and that includes going platinum. Hopefully I will get pregnant doing all the wrong things.”

Once again, I love that she doesn’t at all consider that she’s not meant to have any more children. Enjoy the one you’ve got – you’re barely raising her, as it is. What the hell do you want another one for? Frankly, I hope, for the sake of any potential future child, that she can’t get pregnant again. Sure, she has the money to take care of them, but that entire family is toxic and being raised by nannies is NOT giving a child a proper upbringing, regardless of how much you spoil them with material shit.

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Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris are dating, apparently

calvin harry taylor swift

I really want to believe that this is just another foundless Hollywood rumour, because if it’s true… I don’t even have words. Reports have been making the rounds lately that Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris are dating, and oh man, if that’s happening… wow. In case you can’t recall who Calvin Harris is off the top of your head, he used to date Rita Ora and makes some pretty great pop music (and a shit ton of money doing fuck all as a “DJ”) on a regular basis.

Apparently Calvin previously said that he’d “swipe left” on TSwift on Tinder and called her “the opposite of his type”, but now he’s seeing cartoon hearts and dollar signs when he looks her way.

From TMZ:

So why the change of heart? Our sources who are prominent in the DJ world say Calvin got to know Taylor through the Haim sisters, Taylor’s best friends. Calvin and Haim have a hit song, “Pray to God,” that was released earlier this month. He got to know her and liked her.

But our sources say Calvin is the best businessman among DJs and knows the cache of dating the biggest pop star in the world.

They believe Calvin has developed feelings for Taylor, but they say he’s wired for success and there’s no hard dividing line separating his personal life from business.

Oh God, this is going to be a MAJOR disaster. Also, it looks like there’s more truth to this than any of us would like to admit since there are pictures and videos of them holding hands, snuggling and being all romantic with each other. Poor Taylor – she should have stuck a bit more strictly to her vow to stay single.

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The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards got pretty crazy last night

modern family

The Nickelodeon Kids Choice Awards aired last night, and as you can see from the photos, things got preeeeetty crazy. Isn’t it funny how simple kids are? All they want to do is laugh at people getting slime dumped all over them. It’s universally hilarious!

Everyone in Hollywood was there – Angelina Jolie and her two kids, Zahara and John; Katie Holmes and Suri Cruise, Nick Jonas, Emma Stone, etc. etc. Angelina won Best Villain for Maleficent, Emma Stone was the Favorite Movie Actress for The Amazing Spider-Man 2 and Selena Gomez was the favorite song. Full list of the winners is available here.

Looked like fun!

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Tom Cruise has “tantrums” if he doesn’t do his own stunts

tom cruise

Tom Cruise has always made it a point in interviews to bring up the fact that he does all his own stunts because he’s totally fit and heroic. He’s performed nearly every stunt in his Mission Impossible movies and a bunch of others that I’m too lazy to IMDB because I’m not a Cruise fan, but needless to say, he’s a bit of a daredevil. Apparently so much so that he throws “tantrums” on sets if the director prefers to use a stunt double.

From Page Six:

It all begs the question — with millions upon millions of box-office dollars on the line, how on earth does one of the world’s biggest movie stars get the insurance to tempt death?

“He stomps his feet and fights for it and tells [the studio] that basically if they don’t [let him], he’s not going to do the movie,” laughs Wade Eastwood, the movie’s stunt coordinator and Cruise’s friend. “When he wants to do something cool, he’ll fight to the death in order to do it.”

Brian Kingman, the managing director for Gallagher Entertainment, which insures studio films, says that safeguards and qualifications make it possible for big stars to do their own stunts — if someone’s willing to pay.

“I mean, if you’ve got enough time, talent and money, anything is insurable,” he says. “All insurers want to know is that things are done safely and any risk is a reasonable one.”

Brad Bird, who directed the last “Mission,” has said that Cruise’s role as a producer on his films gives him the leverage to do it all.

But most action stars don’t get the chance to do their own stunts because they don’t have the power to make it happen.

“You’ve got a lot of actors that get close, like the Hugh Jackmans of the world and the Daniel Craigs — but Tom Cruise and Jackie Chan are the only two I know that do a hundred percent of it themselves,” says Eastwood.

Apparently this really doesn’t matter to anyone else – most stars just don’t want to do their own stunts. I can’t really hate on Tom for wanting to. It’s dangerous, sure, but if you’re a thrill-seeker, of course you’re going to want to perform these insane, impossible feats. I’d shit myself and wouldn’t hesitate to bring in a stunt double, but to each his own. The tantrums are a bit corny, but we are talking about Tom Cruise here.

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Zayn Malik opens up about One Direction departure

zayn malik

Zayn Malik‘s decision to leave One Direction last week made the world go insane. Employees requested compassionate leave from work to mourn the departure (yes, seriously), girls were threatening to kill themselves on Twitter and even Justin Bieber took the news pretty hard:


Of course, the world goes on. But Zayn has finally sat down to speak to The Sun (via The Telegraph) about his feelings and thoughts behind his decision and he comes off sounding kinda like a dipshit:

On finally coming to the decision to throw in the towel…

“It is crazy and wild and a bit mad.

“But at the same time I’ve never felt more in control in my life.

“And I feel like I’m doing what’s right — right by myself and right by the boys, so I feel good.”

On knowing he wanted out for a quite some time…

“You know, I did try to do something that I wasn’t happy doing for a while, for the sake of maybe other people’s happiness.

“And that was mainly the fans. And I only ever tried to do it for the fans, and it was only ever for them.”

On feeling like he’s let his fans down…

“That’s the main thing that I don’t want to happen.

“It’s not that I’ve turned my back on them or anything, it’s just that I just can’t do that anymore because it’s not real to me.”

On whether he thinks the band will stay together…

“They still want to do it for a while, so they’re going to carry on doing what they want to do.

“And I think they’re going to do ok for a while, do you know what I mean?

“I think they’re going to be cool.”

On confirming he is still engaged to Perrie Edwards…

“Yeah, she’s always supportive. She’s always good, man.”

Well, that was… enlightening. There have been some suggestions that Zayn was actually removed from the band rather than choosing to leave on his own, but who knows. Fans are nuts and have been calling Perrie Edwards the Yoko Ono of One Direction, too, which… LOL.

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