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6BREAKING: Taylor Swift Is “Obsessed” with The Kennedys

A photo of Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy

From Us Weekly:

For years, Taylor Swift has harbored a not-so-secret infatuation with her new boyfriend Conor Kennedy’s iconic family. “She’s obsessed with the family,” a pal tells Us Weekly. One insider adds that Conor’s cousin Ted Kennedy Jr. even calls the country crooner a “Kennedy groupie!”

The 22-year-old “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” singer first grew enamored while watching the 2011 miniseries The Kennedys, then began collecting memorabilia for her Nashville and Beverly Hills pads and boning up on the clan’s history.

“I just read a 900-page book called The Kennedy Women,” she raved to Rolling Stone last summer. Months later, Rory Kennedy reached out to Swift for concert tickets, and Swift turned up at January’s Sundance Film Festival to catch a screening of Ethel, Rory’s HBO documentary about her mom (and Conor’s grandmother).

Her persistence paid off.

Rory invited Swift to visit the family’s compound for 4th of July weekend, where she met Conor, 18. “She’s a great friend of all of ours,” says Rory. “She’s awesome, and we love her.”

Sources close to Swift tell Us that she’s already fallen hard for Conor, despite their extremely brief courtship. “She’s head over heels,” one insider told Us recently of the country cutie. “[Conor's] a smart, sensitive guy.”

“She says it’s a fantasy come true,” the source adds. “[Taylor] is very smitten.”

Really, this isn’t anything that we didn’t already know, but isn’t it just so creepy to hear all the details? Here, I’ll condense it even further for you: Taylor watched the miniseries about the Kennedys, collects Kennedy memorabilia, and reads books about the Kennedys. Wouldn’t that creep you out? I mean, if you were Conor, or any close member of the family. I might have said this before (I’ve definitely thought it before), but if Taylor was a dude, she would be getting so much flack for this. And she really should.

And just think, poor Conor is barely 18 years old, and he’s still in high school. His mother killed herself in May. He must be going through a lot, and then creepy ol’ Taylor Swift swoops in because she has some weird fetish for his family and lets him touch her boob and now he’s so in love. And that’s shady.

But here, I’ll leave it up to you guys …

Taylor Swift:
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September 2, 2012 at 8:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Taylor Swift

29Victoria Jackson Has Some Important Thoughts About That Todd Akin Thing

A photo of Victoria Jackson

Hey, friends!  If you have a low tolerance for bullshit, you might want skip over this story. On the other hand, if you’re a big fan of Victoria Jackson’s political nonsense, this is the story for you!

Because, ok. Ugh. That Todd Akin thing. I’m sure many of you guys know about it already, but just to recap, Todd Akin is this Republican Senate nominee in Missouri, and he, of course, has strong feelings about abortion. Basically, he doesn’t like it, and he doesn’t want anyone partaking in it, even rape victims. Because check it out:

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape] is really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

Do you see the logic? Rape victims just don’t get pregnant, at least they don’t if the rape is legitimate. So they don’t even need abortions. So, once again, the only people who want abortions are … I can’t even play anymore. This is bullshit, and it’s ridiculous, and it’s offensive. It doesn’t even make sense. And I think that regardless of what your own views are on the subject, we can all agree on that, right?

But, ridiculous or not, Victoria Jackson totally supports it:

“The Todd Akin thing was so blown out of proportion — it’s a joke,” Jackson said at the Republican National Convention in Tampa, Fla., when interviewed for my SiriusXM OutQ radio program. “How many times do people get pregnant from rape? It’s point zero zero one percent. It’s a joke. I read lots of articles. I know people, because I’m 53. I’ve know a lot of people, and I’ve actually never known anyone who got pregnant from being raped.”

“And guess what?” she continued. “If I got raped, I would have the baby. And if I didn’t want to keep it because I had these [mocking tone] horrible nightmares, I would adopt it out. But I think that God can turn a bad thing into a good thing. And that, if I got raped and a beautiful baby who was innocent was born out of it, that would be a blessing. The DNA of a baby is individual. It’s not the mother’s DNA. It’s not the father’s DNA. And that’s why I believe abortion is murder, because it’s not the woman’s body. It has it’s own DNA. If there’s a boy baby inside of me, he has a penis. That’s not my body.”

It’s not even funny anymore, it’s just sad and uncomfortable. So I don’t know about you guys, but I’m just going to spend the rest of the evening wishing and hoping with all my might that Victoria Jackson has just been involved in a very long, very believable goof. That this is all just satire, and that no one on the planet could really think like this. What about you guys?

September 1, 2012 at 3:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Victoria Jackson

6Seal Is Sad That Heidi Klum is “Fornicating with The Help”

A photo of Heidi Klum and Seal

But really, that’s a thing that Seal actually said. Like, in real life. Seal is claiming that Heidi Klum destroyed their marriage because of her decision to “fornicate with the help.” Good lord.

Let’s back it up though for a minute, all right? There are these new pictures of Heidi on a beach with her bodyguard of four years, Martin Kristen. And they were playing around with her kids, and, like, sitting next to each other and stuff. In one of the pictures, the guy went in for a one-armed hug. You know, very serious, very racy stuff. And please keep in mind that Heidi and Seal announced their divorce in January. But hey, what a whore, right?

But according to Seal, yes, what a whore, indeed. He says it in a more passive aggressive way, but it’s pretty obvious what he’s getting at. Here, just read what he said:

“That’s what happens when two people separate, they move on and generally meet other people in their lives,” Seal, 49, told TMZ as he arrived at Los Angeles International Airport.

“I certainly don’t expect Heidi to all of a sudden become a nun. But as always my main priority is the emotional well-being of my children, and to be quite honest if there is going to be someone else there in their lives there, I would much rather it was a familiar face,” the singer said.

Added Seal: “That’s the only thing I would have preferred. Whilst I didn’t expect anything better from him [the bodyguard], I would of thought that Heidi would have shown a little more class and at least waited until we separated first before deciding to fornicate with the help, as it were.”

As for what might have caused the end of their marriage, he said, “I guess you all now have the answer you have been looking for for the last seven months.”

I don’t know, ever since I saw those photos of Seal waving around his hands and wearing yellow fingernail polish to highlight the fact that he wasn’t wearing his wedding ring anymore, I find it hard to take him seriously. When news of this couple’s divorce was just starting up, one of the most prevalent rumors was that Heidi was leaving because of Seal’s temper. And really, anyone who actually uses the phrase “fornicated with the help” seriously probably has some issues that they need to work on. So yeah, I’m still leaning towards that theory.

Also, I hope Heidi has a super time with her new partner in fornication.

September 1, 2012 at 2:00 pm by Emily
Filed Under: Heidi Klum, Seal

5Kim And Kanye Are Probably Getting Their Own Show, Kris Jenner Wants to Direct

A photo of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West

From Hollywood Life:

Kim Kardashian and Kris Jenner are at war over Kim and Kanye West’s upcoming reality show. Kim wants the show to focus on her relationship with Kanye and their adventures in the fashion and music world. But Kris is demanding that she have complete creative control over the show, and wants it to be full of drama and chaos to pull in top ratings!

A friend of the Kardashian family tells EXCLUSIVELY, “It’s not pretty! Kim is sick and tired of Kris trying to control every aspect of her new reality show with Kanye. They don’t share the same vision at all. Kim wants it be cute and sweet and Kris wants drama, drama, drama!”

How does Kanye feel about the drama? He wants to keep both ladies happy!

“Kanye is keeping his mouth shut about the reality show. Of course, his number one priority is making Kim happy, but he doesn’t want to get on Kris’ bad side. He has agreed to go ahead with the show, but refuses to get in the middle of Kim and her mother,” the friend said.

Kim and Kris are planning on buying a pricey flat in London, where they hope to film part of their reality show. Kim wants to tape episodes of the November launch of the Kardashian Kollection line in London.

The insider says, “Kris is convinced that the show will only do well if there is drama, so she wants Kim and Kanye to pretend like they are fighting over which flat to purchase in London. Kim thinks this is completely ridiculous and is not willing to put on an act for ratings. Until Kim and Kris can see eye to eye, nothing is going to happen unless they can somehow meet in the middle.”

Please keep in mind that, sadly, The Kimye Show is just a rumor at this point in time. You know it’s going to happen though, right? I hope you’ve already accepted that, because it doesn’t matter if it’s full of Kris Jenner‘s made up drama or full of Kim and Kanye‘s perfect love, it’s going to be a Very Big Deal. So just brace yourselves for that.

But you know, even though I understand that this show’s definitely going to happen, I still think it’s a little weird. It raises a few questions, doesn’t it? See, Kris Humphries married Kim, and they never got their own show. He was on Kourtney and Kim Take New York, but there was no spin-off. And yet there are already plans to create a show about Kim and Kanye, the couple who’s been dating for a few months? Is it just me, or did all those marriage rumors just get a little more realistic?

September 1, 2012 at 12:00 pm by Emily

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September 1, 2012 at 11:00 am by Sarah
Filed Under: Uncategorized

3What Did Courtney Stodden’s Parents Get Her for Her Birthday?

A photo of Courtney Stodden

A puppy! No, wait, that was her creepy husband’s gift. Ooh, no, they gave her the chance to be immortalized on film forever! Shoot, no, that gift was from porn companies, far and wide. So what did Courtney‘s parents give their beautiful daughter on her 18th birthday?

A divorce! Yay!

The day after Courtney’s special day, her mom, Krista, decided it was time to make a statement about the state of her marriage. Here it is, because I know everyone cares so much:

“After being separated for a year, Alex and I are in the process of a divorce. In truth, we’ve been living separate lives for many years. It is time we both pursue our own happiness. Courtney is the most important thing to the both of us and she knows how much both her parents and her husband love her, and that’s what matters most.”

Now here’s the part I think you just might care about: do you think this divorce is happening because Courtney’s mom is so fond of literally whoring her daughter out? Because Krista here is always the one pumping Courtney up. She’s the one who said that her 16-year-old daughter didn’t need to wait for marriage, and that the 51-year-old creeper who wanted to marry her “loved her for her heart.” She’s the one who moved to L.A. to manage Courtney’s career (without her husband, natch), and who actually said that she looked up to mothers like Dina Lohan and Kris Jenner. She’s the one who participated in racy photo shoots with her 17-year-old daughter wearing stripper heels and underwear and pretending that cake icing was some other sticky white substance. And where has Courtney’s dad been? Probably huddled in a corner somewhere, trying to forget that any of this is happening. Because it’s GROSS.

But man, what a shitty birthday present, huh?

September 1, 2012 at 10:00 am by Emily
Filed Under: Courtney Stodden