The last season of Jersey Shore was so intense, right? There was all that drama with Jionni, we got to see Snooki’s problem with alcohol become painfully obvious and undeniable (as if it wasn’t already, right?) and, possibly the best part of all, we got to see The Situation ram his head into a wall. The fourth season of Jersey Shore was not a joke. It came at us hard and fast, and it didn’t slow down. So the fifth season should be the craziest yet, right?
Well, if you watch the trailer, not so much.
It looks like the highlights this season are going to be Vinny going home for a couple days and Snooki hitting the Situation with a plastic baseball bat. And that’s so disappointing. I mean, if you watch the whole trailer you don’t see one second of Ron and Sam fighting. Not one! It almost makes me not even want to watch it when it premieres on January 5th on MTV.
Unfortunately, this clip from TMZ is the only video I can find that contains any of Vinny‘s original rap. See, shortly after he posted the song on his YouTube page, it offended the entire world, so he took it down. Let me give you some of the original lyrics though, just so you can get a taste of the stylings of Vinny:
“Oh you a fan? You wanna take a pic?
I like your crack girl … I wanna take a hit.
Yeah I’m takin’ it … I’m a get you naked bitch …
We can f*ck and make it fit… boomin shit and slatin’ it.
Actin’ like I’m raping it …
f*ck her til she fakin’ it.”
So, there’s that. Are you charmed? No, I know, it’s disgusting. But thankfully, RAINN, as always managed to jump in with a quick schooling:
“The lyrics in Vinny Guadagnino’s new rap song that glorify rape are ignorant. Trivializing this violent crime sends a dangerous message to the public. Use of the term ‘actin’ like’ doesn’t mitigate the harm this crime has on survivors of sexual violence. We hope that Mr. Guadagnino will reconsider his stand on this issue and leverage his platform to reinforce a zero tolerance policy for sexual violence, as he has with bullying.”
And after being properly chastised, Vinny apologized:
“I’d like to apologize for the rap. Was meant to be a funny take on an already ‘dirty’ song - funny since I’m known as the ‘good boy’. I am 100 percent against violence of any kind. I work with many organizations to stop violence and bullying, and will continue to. It’s something I strongly believe in. Very sorry to anyone I’ve offended.”
Oh, Vinny. This kid was always my favorite of those lovable Jersey Shore lunkheads because he actually seemed like he had a pretty good head on his shoulders. I’m not saying this completely negates that or that after this truly shitty rap song he’s now a horrible person to be scorned for life, but really? How can you make a song with the lyric “actin’ like I’m raping it” and assume that’s going to go over smoothly?
But, seriously, dude. This is the second time I’ve read about Jersey Shore‘s Vinny—and his dreams of acting—in as many days. From his interview with New York Magazine:
That’s the reason I do [reality television]. I’ve always been in school plays and performing monologues and taking drama. Now I’m in acting classes. I do it the real way. I want to be a working actor. I would love that. I just like being on a series and having a script, and I want that to be my nine-to-five.
And in an interview with the HuffPo only two days ago, the reality star talked a little more about his theater background. “I have been doing acting my whole life. I did plays in high school,” he explained. “I take it pretty seriously. I used to do a lot of Shakespeare and Shakespearean festivals and monologues.”
Oh, Vinny Guadagnino! I love that you were a theater nerd in high school! May you know every happiness.