Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Vanilla Ice

Career SOS: Vanilla Ice

 

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Vanilla Ice‘s birthday is today. Happy birthday, Mr. Ice! He turns 46.

Mr. Ice recently gave career advice to Justin Bieber, but I think he’s in need of a little career SOS himself. So I ask you: if you could cast Vanilla Ice in any TV show, which would you choose? Am I absolutely f-cking crazy for thinking he would kill it on the campy delightful TV show Revenge?

How would YOU revive Vanilla Ice’s career? Because dude needs help.

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Vanilla Ice Agrees With Miley Cyrus, Thinks Justin Bieber Is A D-Bag

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Vanilla Ice‘s ears perk up whenever his name is mentioned, like a well-meaning but clueless doggie. Miley Cyrus compared Bieber to Vanilla Ice, as an insult, saying, “I just don’t want to see him f-ck that up, to where people think he’s Vanilla Ice.” But all Mr. Ice needed to hear was “Vanilla Ice” and so he jumped on the train…against not only Justin Bieber, but Vanilla Ice. He talked about it with TMZ:

Vanilla Ice wants Justin Bieber to stop acting like a shirtless douchebag all the time and take Miley Cyrus‘ advice — before his career becomes a big, fat joke.

Rob was honored Miley name-dropped him as the bad example — and paid respect with his own Miley-esque foot pic — telling us he knows exactly where Biebs is coming from … but only Justin has the power to make a change.

“It’s like living an artificial life” Van Winkle says, adding, “when the dust settles, no one can figure it out or help you but yourself.”

And then I guess he wrote “MILEY CYRU$” on the bottom of his feet because, why not?

I want to feel sorry for him, but I think he’s taking it all in stride and having fun, so I won’t.

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Let’s Watch Nature Take Its Revenge on Vanilla Ice

Ok, I know that the ice rink ice doesn’t technically qualify as nature, but I think it’s close enough.  I’d be way surprised if Vanilla Ice doesn’t also get regularly pummeled by hail or if he doesn’t always mysteriously find that one patch of ice when it snows just a little, and that’s because, just like me, nature won’t ever forgive him for what he’s done.

This little clip is from Vanilla’s latest job as a competitor in England’s Dancing on Ice.  And for that hiring decision, England, you get a warning.  Don’t let it happen again.