Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Focus on the War Itself, Troops, Not the Effects of Biological Warfare

photo of paris hilton appearing at the uso event in new york city

Read: Parasite Hilton.

She was supposedly asked to appear at this week’s USO event in New York City, “Swinging Salute to Our Troops,” but she only showed up because she thought the event was “Swingers in Support of Troops.” Mistake, anyone can make it, really, but she’s single now so all options are wide, wide open.

So … since she was already there, she decided to suck it up (no pun intended) and make the best of it, while hamming it up for cameras (real ones and imaginary ones, too, or maybe that’s just her wonk-eye throwing us all off) and servicemen.

[Take a moment to listen to the ambient noise of a dozen bored crickets.]

Come on. Even the guy to the right is thinking, ‘What the fuck is your problem, lady?’ Get off it, Paris. You’re so over. Go back to begging Doug Reinhardt to take your STD-swarming ass back. You might have more luck.

Check out the gallery for more photos of Paris making an ass out of herself.