1thePMlinks

Kelly Brook is wearing a green bikini – take note! [The Superficial]

Victoria Beckham takes Harper Seven out for walkies [Lainey Gossip]

Britney Spears takes her puppy out for some pampering [Starpulse]

Celebrities do duck lips just like the rest of us [theBERRY]

Lindsay Lohan owns up to owing Shawn Chapman Holley loads of money [TMZ]

Shirley MacLaine waited around while her daughter lost her virginity [The Frisky]

Sandra Bullock and son Louis went to the Super Bowl [Celebitchy]

Beyoncé announces world tour dates for 2013 [Socialite Life]

Taylor Swift attends the NRJ Music Awards in Elie Saab [Yeeeah]

Katie Holmes doesn’t always want to be single [The Huffington Post]

The 10 most popular Super Bowl ads [Bitten and Bound]

Diplo’s scoring a fashion collection [OMG Blog]

Katy Perry has her own wax figure now [G Celeb]

Harry Styles still sucks his thumb [I Don't Like You In That Way]

Jimmy Fallon’s Saturday Night Live audition is really cute [College Poison]

Miley Cyrus is filming a video with Lil Kim [Hollywood PQ]

Nina Dobrev is pretty in a lacey blue dress [MoeJackson]

Tracy Morgan is on Dan Marino’s site, no matter what [Elite Daily]

February 4, 2013 at 1:30 pm by Jennifer

0theAMlinks

January Jones broke up with her boyfriend before he knocked her up [The Superficial]

Mariah Carey wears a lot of bling to American Idol auditions [Lainey Gossip]

Ah, Amy Adams is adorable in polka dots (and that’s a lot of “A”s) [Yeeeah]

Katie Couric says Larry King “lunged” at her during a date years ago [Starpulse]

Celebrities really like eating food, apparently [theBERRY]

Is Anne Hathaway pregnant and will she admit it soon? [Celebitchy]

Kate Middleton has a baby bump… or, you know, she’s just wearing a cape [Bohomoth]

Is Selena Gomez back with Justin Bieber? [Amy Grindhouse]

Steven Tyler in drag is not a good thing [The Frisky]

Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt get up close and personal with some fish & chips [Splash News Online]

Suri Cruise and Kanye West like ice cream for breakfast [Socialite Life]

Jennifer Love Hewitt runs in a white dress – exciting! [Celebslam]

Beyoncé gushes about Blue Ivy [Bossip]

The Spring Breakers trailer is a bit too hot for TV [The Blemish]

Alessandra Ambrosio wears a bikini and looks good doing it [I Don't Like You In That Way]

Channing Tatum parties in NOLA over Super Bowl weekend [I'm Not Obsessed]

Jessie J looks adorable in her Red Nose Day t-shirt [Hollywood PQ]

Miley Cyrus has a new tattoo [TooFab]

February 4, 2013 at 8:30 am by Jennifer

1thePMlinks

Lindsay Lohan is ready for a new lawyer already – good luck, sucker who takes on that job [The Superficial]

Tom Cruise hopes a $24 million Hawaiian mansion will lure Suri to his side [Celebitchy]

How I Met Your Mother will have one more season [Starpulse]

Taylor Swift is inconsolable over her Harry Styles breakup [The Frisky]

Justin Bieber’s car had another run-in with police [TMZ]

Russell Brand swears that he’s not dating Demi Moore [Socialite Life]

Lady GaGa bores the internet, apparently [The Blemish]

Celebrities dress up in really awesome costumes, sometimes [theBERRY]

Is Katy Perry done with John Mayer? (Please God, yes!) [Celebslam]

Bjork the philanthropist has started an educational Kickstarter [OMG Blog]

Kris Humphries still wants an annulment [PopBytes]

Diddy buys Ciroq for every table at a club [Elite Daily]

One Direction looks a bit out of it as they leave the recording studio [INF Daily]

Prince Harry can’t hide from an upcoming tell-all [Huffington Post]

Charlize Theron’s short hair looks really great [Lainey Gossip]

Bar Rafaeli really likes kissing geeks, apparently [Hollywood PQ]

Kristen Stewart laughs off Rupert Sanders’ divorce [Celeb Dirty Laundry]

Did Nicki Minaj’s boyfriend pay a prostitute? [Bossip]

Brandi Glanville thinks LeAnn Rimes is a “little tramp” [TooFab]

New Man of Steel covers are out! [I Need My Fix]

February 1, 2013 at 1:30 pm by Jennifer

4theAMlinks

Courtney Stodden may or may not have staged her own paparazzi pics at home [The Superficial]

Jason Momoa is kind of exactly like Khal Drogo in real life [Lainey Gossip]

Sigourney Weaver could benefit from a personal stylist [Yeeeah]

Harvard students have good taste in women: Marion Cotillard named Hasty Pudding Woman of the Year [Starpulse]

Celebrities are really loving the whole Polaroid trend [theBERRY]

Nicole Kidman swears she’s only tried Botox once – uh , okay! [Celebitchy]

Now we know where Lady GaGa got the “monster” nickname for her fans [Bohomoth]

Dakota Fanning couldn’t wait to take her clothes off once she turned 18 [Amy Grindhouse]

One Direction’s Niall Horan apparently doesn’t spend his riches on clothes [The Frisky]

Kate Beckinsdale, however, enjoys a bit of shopping on her down time [Splash News Online]

Ricky Martin waves goodbye to Broadway, hello to Australia’s version of The Voice [Socialite Life]

Alyssa Milano is still looking good [G Celeb]

Jennifer Garner’s daughter Violet is her spitting image, and she’s adorable [I'm Not Obsessed]

Lindsay Lohan’s moved back in with her mom because she’s broke as a joke [I Don't Like You In That Way]

Kim Kardashian shares another baby bump photo on Instagram [Hollywood PQ]

Kelsey Grammar takes his baby for a walk, remains irrelevant [MoeJackson]

Willow Smith has dropped out of the Annie remake and now we must mourn [Bossip]

Donald Trump is suing a singer for using his name [Celebzter]

February 1, 2013 at 8:30 am by Jennifer

51So Long, Farewell

Oh guys. It’s really, really that time: my final (non-celebrity-related) post. I’m glad to say that I went out with a bang on that last John Mayer post. I mean, I guess. You know. If I could have chosen, the last celebrity-related post would have been something LeAnn Rimes/Brandi Glanville-related, but hey. It can’t always be flaccid penises and boob cutlets all the time, you know.

On that note, oh my goodness. My personal voyage with Evil Beet Gossip started off back in 2009, when I was just chomping at the bit to stop writing link exchange posts and move on to bigger things. In late 2009, I got my wish: Sasha, who is the original Evil Beet herself, had hired me as an official staff writer for Evil Beet Gossip. I thank her so, so much for taking a chance on someone like me way back then. 5,394 posts later, I leave you with this, my own personal, sentimental, and irregularly inappropriate and ill-placed advice for those to whom it might be applicable: never stop moving forward. Seriously. No matter what life throws at you—good or bad—just never stop moving forward. Go after what you want, but be so, so thankful for what you have in the meantime.

That, of course, brings me to be so, so thankful for all of you guys, because many of you are so, so wonderful. I’d like to call a few of you out, here, so be prepared:

evilbeetdouche. You were one of my very first allies on Evil Beet, and I’m eternally grateful to you. You stuck by my side when there was that weird transition where everyone and not just some people hated me, and by the way? I think I know who you really are! BOOM. ;)

Chaz! Oh Chaz. You know where I’m going, because we go way back like that, and I hope you’ll come and stir the shit in the new joint, too. Also, please, please bring guest with you. It just won’t be the same.

Mireee. Girl, you’ve been around forever. You were even around on Zelda Lily, and that’s where I really got to know you. You’re smart and kick-ass and never let anyone put you in a place where they think you belong. You’re one of my most favorite commenters because secretly, I want to be just like you.

CranAppleSnapple: I’m sorry that certain things drove you away, but I have a book from you, and I will always think of you whenever I look through it. YOUR NEW CAT IS SO CUTE and your husband is, too!

Angry Pirate. I don’t know where you’ve been, but the last time I saw you was on a Courtney Stodden post on the twentieth of the month. I still officially never got a goodbye! Boo on that business. Do come back, OK?

puddin. Could you possibly win more Caption This contests? You’re hilarious, girl. I’m going to miss sending you free crap.

I’m sure there’s probably many, many more that I’ve interacted with on a personal level, and if I left any of you out, I’m sorry—I’m going to blame it on the tears and the big, big, really big glass of Merlot that’s currently clouding my vision.

I also want to send a major, major thankyou to Emily, who has been my partner in crime and cohort at Evil Beet Gossip for longer than anyone else ever has. She’s the most amazing, most sensitive, most hardworking lady I’ve ever met, and while I’m sorry that she’s leaving Evil Beet, too, because I know how well-loved she is, I’m also super happy that she’s coming along with me and embarking on a whole different, crazy adventure that will hopefully prove successful for both of us. Emily’s a real gem, and I count myself blessed to know her.

Last, I want to thank A., who entered my life sometime around 2010 (I can’t even remember when, it seems like it’s been so long) and had faith in me even when I wasn’t sure I had it in myself (hid that one pretty well, huh?). A. has been the best boss anyone could ask for, and rest assured, friends, there’s so much going on behind the scenes at Evil Beet that’s going to just knock your socks off in the coming months, so be on the look out for it, guys.

I love you all immensely, and I will never, ever forget you, or the various parts you’ve played in one of the greatest and most rewarding experiences of my life.

On a final note, I’m going to let my homies, Boyz II Men, do the rest of my talking for me, because that’s appropriate right now, maybe:

Although we’ve come to the End Of The Road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you
Come to the End of the Road
Still I can’t let you go
It’s unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you

Catch you on the flip side, guys. Promise you’ll belong to me forever! xo

Sarah’s Facebook
Sarah’s Twitter

January 31, 2013 at 5:30 pm by Sarah

78The One Where I Feel Too Many Feelings

So that song doesn’t have any real relevance that I can think of right now, but it’s my favorite Bowie song of the moment. And besides, what am I supposed to do here, take a picture of myself or something? Gross. I’m sick and pale, plus I’m crying. DON’T JUDGE ME.

Anyway, this is going to be a post of me saying bye to you guys. It’s probably going to be too long, and I’m probably going to ramble. You know how I do.

I’m going to miss you guys so much! I feel like I’m breaking up with you, and it’s not because I don’t love you anymore, it’s just because things are changing, and I still want to be friends, I really do. You can holler at me on Facebook or Twitter, and you can keep up with my cats on Instagram. I have a blog that I update sometimes. In due time, you’ll be able to read me rant about Taylor Swift again. This isn’t goodbye, this is see you later.

I am the biggest p-ssy ever, you guys. This is so lame.

But you know, I feel like we’ve had some good times, right? We got to watch the aforementioned Taylor Swift commit statutory rape together. We got to document how crazy Victoria Jackson is together. We even got to witness David Bowie‘s miraculous return to music together. We’ve gone through a lot of celebrity gossip milestones together. And hey: we’ll always have the conception of the spawn of Kimye.

I don’t know, friends. Basically, you’re all wonderful. I mean, maybe a couple of you aren’t, but for the most part, you guys are just too awesome. There’s Mireee, who is just the coolest, and crab, who I can always count on for some great kitty talk. There’s Chaz, and even though he asks for pictures of dirty tampons, I have to respect such a funny dude who loves my dear Sarah so much. There’s Simon Jadis, who has the most wonderful comments and who is just such a delight. There’s Ike Nash, who I truly hope never stops writing songs. There’s Harriet Meadow, who always sounds so neat (is this getting weird? Let’s get weird). There’s Mercy, who is so, so great. And guest … we all know how I feel about guest. Hint: it’s the same way everyone else feels about guest.

Major shoutouts (oh god, I’m giving shoutouts now, what have I become?) to Sasha, who liked my play about Jesus and my Twitter account enough to give me this crazy amazing opportunity, and A., who was so wonderful to let me keep on keepin’ on afterwards. And the other ladies I’ve had so much fun working with – Molls and Jenn, those absolute darlings – this has just been such a fantastic experience. And you know, I don’t even have enough words to say how completely phenomenal Sarah is, so I don’t think I can even try. Just know that she is one of the sweetest, smartest, funniest people I’ve ever met in my whole entire life, and you should probably consider yourselves lucky that you’ve gotten to hear what she has to say for the past few years. And yes, I’m still crying.

But don’t worry! I’ve read lots of things by Jennifer and Bobby, your new Evil Beet crew, and you guys are in such good hands. Seriously, have you looked at their blogs yet? No excuses. Get psyched.

And one last time, here’s a picture of my cats. I couldn’t get a new one of them together because they both need their testicles removed so they quit running around the house for hours and hours at a time, but here are my precious angel babies taking turns sleeping on my lap:

I love you guys! Don’t be strangers! I’m going to go drink NyQuil and stop feeling so many feelings! Later!

January 31, 2013 at 3:30 pm by Emily