Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tyra Banks

Quotables: Tyra Banks Wants You to Impregnate Her Right This Instant

A photo of Tyra Banks

“I’m really ready to have some babies. I want babies! I’ve always wanted them, but I’ve been saying ‘I want babies in three years’ since I was, like, 27. And now I’m 28. No, I’m 38 — I think it’s time. [My eggs are] going to be hard-boiled and fried and scrambled up in there, so it’s time to get those eggs working!”

- Tyra Banks reveals her real thoughts on childbearing and NOT doing a monologue from How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days.

No, but really, does that sound crazy to you? Maybe it’s just because it’s crazy ol’ Tyra, but I feel like this sounds really crazy. Like, I feel like this sounds like something she’d say on a first date and then the guy would sort of giggle and then find a way to sneak out of the bathroom window, and she’d kept texting him things like “call me” and “I miss you” and “I think our DNA would mix really well.”

Also, the rumor is that Tyra is dating a 24-year-old male model. Girl. If that’s still going on, and you want that to keep going on, you better stop going on so hard about babies. Oh, and you better stop talking about your scrambled eggs. That’s just gross.

Love It or Leave It: What the Hell, Tyra Banks?

photo of tyra banks pictures photos
So, I decided to show my four-year-old this picture and told her that I wanted to hear a story about it after she finished studying it. The following is my four-year-old child’s take on the monstrosity that is Tyra Banks‘ makeup:

Once upon a time, there was a lady. And she met a man. And then she went somewhere in particular. And after that, she went to the beach. So, she went to the beach and saw some dolphins and fish and sharks. And she looks like this because she looks old. And she looks like this because she’s a rockstar. And she looks very mad. And she probably is mad, because I know I’d be mad if I looked like an explosion happened in my eyes. When she went to the beach, all of the dolphins and fish and sharks were very afraid of her because she made mean faces and she probably doesn’t like children. The man didn’t even like her actually, but he played with her anyway because we should be nice to everyone—even if they have scary witch faces.

Can you see where my daughter gets her talent? Come on now.

But really, this is some God-awful makeup application, huh? This looks like something I did by accident once while I was trying to put my makeup on in a moving vehicle (I was the passenger, duh). Only difference is that I had the smarts to wash my face off at my earliest convenience, and definitely before anyone really saw me. Damn. You’re a supermodel, Tyra. You probably have mirrors all over your frigging house. Look into one every one in awhile, huh, girl?

Tyra Banks Just Fired Everyone You Love on America’s Next Top Model

A photo of Jay Alexander, Jay Manuel, and Nigel Barker

Do you guys watch America’s Next Top Model? If you do, then you definitely recognize those three people up there in that photo. Those people are J. Alexander, Jay Manuel, and Nigel Barker, also known as Miss J, Mr. Jay, and the hottest photographer that I’ve ever seen in my whole entire life. They’ve been on Top Model since the very first cycle in 2003, but not anymore. Because they all got fired.

From Us Weekly:

TyraBanks has one photo in her hand . . . and none of them belong to America’s Next Top Model‘s Nigel Barker, J. Alexander or Jay Manuel.

Host and producer Banks, 38, has fired her panel of experts, The New York Post‘s Page Six reported Friday. They were reportedly informed Thursday morning that their contracts would not be renewed for Cycle 18.

Banks later confirmed that photographer Barker, 39, runway coach Alexander, 53, and creative director Manuel, 39, will be leaving America’s Next Top Model via her official Facebook page.

“To my Nigel Barker, Miss J, and Mr Jay: Thank you for all of our years together on America’s Next Top Model,” Banks wrote. “Working with you is always an absolute pleasure. Excited for what the future holds for us.”

Barker, Alexander and Manuel have been with America’s Next Top Model since its inception in 2003. Previous judges include Janice Dickinson, KimoraLee Simmons, Twiggy, Paulina Porizkova, AndreLeonTalley, BeauQuillian, Eric Nicholson and Nole Marin. As of Friday, judge KellyCutrone is expected to return for Cycle 18.

In a statement, executive producers Bank and Ken Mok tell Us Weekly: “Nigel Barker, Jay Manuel and J. Alexander have been an integral part of the America’s Next Top Model brand and they helped turn this show into the household name it is today. They have been amazing assets to the show and will always be a part of the Top Model family. We will continue to actively work with each of them on future projects.”

I love this show, but I haven’t watched it in quite a while. There have only been a couple of seasons that I’ve watched Top Model when it was actually airing: usually I just get in a kick and plow through a whole cycle over a weekend. But if all three of these people are gone? Then so am I, you guys.

On a positive note, Nigel spoke with E!, and he told them that “this isn’t a Tyra thing. This is a network thing,” so that’s good. That means I can keep up my secret admiration of Tyra without all the guilt. That’s something, right?

Will you guys be watching the next season of America’s Next Top Model? Or have you even watched a season since 2008?