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Tupac

Suge Knight Doesn’t Think Tupac’s Dead, Probably Thinks That the Hologram is Real

photo of tupac and suge knight pictures
Did you guys hear? Suge Knight saw the Tupac hologram, lost his mind, and now he’s claiming that the dead rapper was never dead. Same story, different cast of characters, and yeah, it totally makes sense that Tupac would fake his own death, blah blah blah NOT. From TMZ:

There is a VERY good chance Tupac Shakur is alive and well … and hiding … this according to the man who was with him during the supposedly fatal shooting in Vegas, Suge Knight.

Knight just appeared on 93.5 KDay in L.A. with Tattoo and Cee Cee … and pumped some major fuel into the biggest urban legend in hip hop … that Tupac FAKED his own death.

Knight says his theory explains why cops never found his murderer — because there was no murder.

“Maybe the question is … Pac’s not really dead … pac’s somewhere else,” Knight says.

When asked if he ever saw Tupac’s body following the 1996 shooting, he adds, “Nobody seen Tupac dead. ”

Knight explains, “The person who supposedly cremated Tupac … this guy got about 3 million dollars .. personally from me … cash … and next thing I know I never heard from the guy or seen him again … he retired and left.”

OK, here’s my theory: Tupac got tired of all the fame, the money, the women, the public adoration, and at the ripe old age of twenty-five, instead of making some kind of lame-ass announcement that he was “retiring” (hello, Amanda Bynes! Lookin’ at you, girl!), he decided that he’d go out with a bang—no pun intended. He’d disappear from the streets of LA, flake out on all of his friends, his family, and his lovers, and not come back until the technology was in place to pretend that his grand return was a festival out in the desert as a holographic image and then hide behind that ’til he got bored. I hear the next big plan is for the Tupac “hologram” to go on tour, until “Tupac” gets sick of it and kills himself off the scene again.

Sure, right? No. Sounds like someone’s been watching too much Jem to me.

Dead People Giving Concerts Are All The Rage This Season

This whole mess started when my beloved Tupac was resurrected in the form of a hologram to perform at Coachella this past weekend. It was weird and awkward, and I don’t know why it happened. As much as I love Tupac, which is a whole lot, I wouldn’t want to see him perform. Because he’s dead. And if I were Snoop Dogg, I don’t think I’d want to perform with my friend that, you know, has been dead for 16 years. Is that a hard thing to understand?

Apparently it is, because Tupac’s probably going on tour:

“This is just the beginning,” Digital Domain’s chief creative officer, Ed Ulbrich,told the Journal Monday. “[Dr.] Dre has a massive vision for this.”

Spokespersons for Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg have declined to comment, but Dr. Dre’s production team first approached Digital Domain a year ago about creating a virtual Tupac. The team started focusing on the Coachella performance around four months ago, according to the newspaper.

The months of creative and technical planning aside, a stadium tour is feasible, or possibly smaller arenas, to bring in the talents of Eminem, 50 Cent and Wiz Khalifa.

But wait, the madness doesn’t stop with Tupac! No, it looks like Michael Jackson could be gearing up to go on the road one more time as well:

The late music legend’s brothers Jermaine, Jackie, Tito and Marlon just announced that they are joining together for Unity Tour 2012, a 27-city jaunt that kicks off June 18 in Louisville.

It marks the first time they’ve toured together since the Victory Tour in 1984.

“I just wish Michael was here with us, but I’m sure his spirit will be in the house,” Jackie exclusively told me this morning.

And he may be with them afterall. Jackie said a Michael hologram could very well be part of a bigger tour they’re planning for next year after they release a new album with their recently reunited record label Motown.

“It could have Michael—absolutely,” he said. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful? As a matter of fact, we had that idea two years ago for Michael’s Cirque du Soleil show.”

The brothers are still working on the set list for Unity. “There are so many songs,” Jackie said. “That’s the hardest part because we want to include all the favorites and not leave anything out. We’re going to sing some of Michael’s stuff, too. We’re going to honor him on the stage. He’d want us to do our thing to the best of our ability.”

Wow, sounds super! But hey, you know who I’d really like to see in concert? Someone who’s been dead for much, much longer. Can you help me out, Dr. Dre?

Jimmy Hendrix and Marvin Gaye? Sounds like a blast, Dre, but holler when you can get me someone like Billie Holiday or John Phillip Sousa, someone who’s been dead for a real substantial amount of time. If we’re going to do this thing, let’s do it right. I’ll see you guys at Bonnaroo, I hear Mozart is going to do some sweet mash-ups with Skrillex, and Jesus is going to be the MC.