Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Trace Cyrus

Trace Cyrus Has a New Video Out!

GUYS. This is easily the most awkward thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Seriously. I cringed through 99% of it, and the other 1% I was putting Octonauts on for my daughter (which, I’ll admit to watching).

Look for a Miley cameo, and a jacuzzi tub shot of a girl with really, really, really big tits starting to float on her back toward Trace, and lots of hugging and kissing, because this video’s chock-full of it.

The thing about this, though, that I’m hearing is that Trace’s “band,” Ashland High, has got a pretty OK following. Meaning that there are people out there who listen to this and say, “Hey. Now that’s a song I can get behind,” but don’t get me wrong—all is not a waste. I love the upbeat idea of “sippin’ on sunshine” way way more than I’d like, say, something like “I hate my life and I want to drown myself in this nice big pool I have and curse my life and all of the things in it like my gold Rolex watch and famous family.” Because guys, that’s the truth.

I’d rate this a 7 on a scale from 1 to 10, and it’s only, only, only because—all snark aside—the concept for the video is actually really cute and endearing.

Look, More Disney Kids Are Having Kids!

photo of trace cyrus and brenda song pregnant pictures photos

The funny thing, when I went to go look up Trace Cyrus‘s and Brenda Song‘s respective ages, just looking for more fuel to feed the indignation fire, I found out that … they’re not actually all that young. Trace was 22 this year, and Brenda was 23. You know what this means, don’t you? It means I’m getting old.

Trace, you might recognize, as Miley Cyrus‘s older brother. Here’s a few fun facts about boyfriend:

  • Though he’s Miley’s kin, he’s only her half-brother; Mama Tish bore him of another man, y’all
  • He briefly dated Demi Lovato
  • Trace has the words “Stay Gold” tattooed on his fists
  • He dropped out of high school
  • He does vocals and guitar in two bands, Metro Station and Ashland HIGH

As for expectant mommy, Brenda Song, here’s another few tidbits:

  • A role on The Suite Life of Zack and Cody made her Disney-famous and later starred in Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior (which, no, I did not see) among other “feature” films
  • In 2006, she was named “Queen of Disney” (that just doesn’t sound very promising either)
  • She was also in The Social Network, if you can believe it
  • In 2004, she shared a magazine cover with Lindsay Lohan
  • According to Time magazine, Song is one of three Disney starlets who haven’t yet been involved in any kind of partying/drugs/sex scandal (Hilary Duff and Raven-Symone are the other two)

Consider yourself up to speed!

Me, though, I don’t know. You ask me, it looks like another Weston Cage situation just waiting to happen. Maybe it’s the creepy-looking dyed black hair and intensity burning below the surface (or maybe that’s just a urinary tract infection I’m thinking of), but this has the potential to maybe not play out so well. However, if Trace turns out to be one of those sensitive-like emo guys, and does something … I don’t know, better with his hair, he could actually be quite attractive. It could really go either way, friends.

Billy Ray Cyrus and Son: Paranormal Investigators!

A photo of Billy Ray Cyrus, Miley Cyrus, and Trace Cyrus

Ok, so here’s how this happened.  I was on the phone with my BFF last night, talking about spiders or Supernatural or something, when she stopped and was like “Emily.  Emily, listen.”  And then she told me this beautiful story, which I, in turn, am sharing with you guys.

Billy Ray Cyrus and his son, Trace (that guy up there hugging on Miley that used to be in Metro Station, and also a beautiful douchebag) are working on a new reality show where they “investigate conspiracy theories involving unexplained activity and paranormal phenomena.”  The show is called UFO:  Unbelievably Freakin’ Obvious, and here’s what ol’ Billy Ray had to say about it:

“Getting the opportunity to take this adventure with my son, who has always had a keen interest in this area, is a dream come true,” said the country music star. “I hope this series can shine a light on some of the activities we have questioned, and the mysteries that have long inspired us.”

So from what I’ve gathered, Billy Ray and Trace are going to road trip around the country, hitting up Roswell and Amityville and the like, trying to figure out how to work EMF meters and chattin’ up locals for no discernible reason.  Hopefully their research can unlock some secrets about the paranormal, but even if it doesn’t, I am still unbelievably freakin’ excited about this show.

Look Like Anybody You Know?

Meet Trace Cyrus.

Trace is the older brother of a young woman named Miley Cyrus, whom you may have heard of.

He’s also the lead singer and guitarist for a little band named Metro Station, whom you also may have heard of, thanks to their massively popular single, “Shake It,” on their eponymous platinum album.

Trace and Miley tend to keep quiet about the fact that they’re siblings.

I can see why.

Still, I think this guy’s adorable, and, if you haven’t listened to the entire Metro Station album, I strongly suggest you do — I love it.