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Tony DiSanto

21The Hills Finale Party: One Billion Photos!

We’re a day late on these, and I apologize, but I swear I couldn’t find them on the photo services until tonight.

All our favorite Hills castmembers were there: Audrina! Stephanie! Lo! Brody! Holly! Kristen! COCAINE! (not pictured)

And LAUREN CONRAD, who looks fucking fantastic and happy and wonderful and OMG I love you so much Lauren Conrad. There was NEVER a show after you left! And you are BY FAR the most beautiful of all these people and it doesn’t look like you’ve had a stitch of work done. I’m so happy for you that you ditched this train before it wrecked.

Conspicuously absent: Heidi and Spencer. Because they’re fucking insane and weren’t invited. Seriously, though, I was talking with a girlfriend yesterday about how freakin’ tragic it is for Heidi that this show ever happened to her. Like, she was this perfectly nice, cute girl from Colorado with a lovely future ahead of her who is now pretty much the textbook definition of what it looks like when someone gets sucked into Hollywood. Her face and body are mutilated. Her family hates her. Her marriage was a sham and her “husband” is a candidate for a lobotomy. I hate to say it, but I feel awful for her. I don’t know how you even begin to pick up the pieces after your life has become so shattered.

Lastly: I hate Kristin Cavallari as much as the next person, but I would give up a finger or two for her legs. This bitch gives Jen Aniston a run for her money.

July 15, 2010 at 12:30 am by Evil Beet