Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tommy Lee

Watch This: “Sh—t People DON’T Say in LA”

The “Ish People Say” YouTube trend has finally exploded. Or imploded—I’m not sure which, actually. How can I tell? David Spade is all over it. David Spade. Is all over it.

Oh, also? Watch for Alison Brie (love her) and Tommy Lee. And Kevin Farley, who I did not recognize!

Lolololololololol at “I don’t cry myself to sleep.” The rest of these one-liners are a little too crass to list. (And by the way! Don’t watch this at work!)

Is This Tommy Lee’s New Squeeze?

You might recognize this paragon of class as Daisy de la Hoya, from Rock of Love 2. It’s kind of hard to tell it’s her, because her middle finger is covering most of her absurdly Botoxed lips, which are her most recognizable feature. In fact, the lips on her face are almost better covered here than the lips between her legs. She’s just that much of a lady. But I digress.

Rumor has it that Daisy’s been dating rocker Tommy Lee recently, after previously being attached to Dave Navarro.

Meanwhile, Pamela Anderson has struck up a new relationship with a member of Abu Dhabi’s royal family. I wonder if she feels at all threatened by this new relationship. I doubt it.

Isn’t Abu Dhabi where Garfield was always trying to send poor Nermal? Also: that is the one and only thing I know about Abu Dhabi. Yup, that’s it. If someone were like, “Name one thing about Abu Dhabi or I’ll kill you” I would be like “IT WAS WHERE GARFIELD ALWAYS TRIED TO SEND NERMAL!!!” and then if they were like “Okay name one more thing about Abu Dhabi or I’ll still kill you” I’d be like “PAMELA ANDERSON IS REPORTEDLY DATING A MEMBER OF ITS ROYAL FAMILY!” and then if the mean person were like “If you can name a third thing about Abu Dhabi I’ll let you go, otherwise you die” then I would just have to die. Because we would have exhausted the list of things I know about Abu Dhabi.

Anyway.

Pamela should send Daisy to Abu Dhabi.

Pam and Tommy: Back On!

Oooooooooof course.

These two are like the Ross & Rachel of the real world.

Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee are reportedly living together again.

Pamela and the kids have moved in with me,” Tommy tells Rolling Stone. “It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together … We’ve only given it a try 800 times — 801, here we go.”

Note: I know this photo includes Courtney Love, and Courtney Love has nothing to do with this story. But I found it while searching for photos of Pam and Tommy — it’s from 2005 — and I just thought it was funny as all hell.

Kid Rock Won’t Face Charges for VMA Smackdown

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I guess Tommy Lee decided to be the bigger man here, and asked Clark County police not to press charges against Kid for their Alicia Keys-interrupting VMA fight.

“The Clark County District Attorney’s Office will not pursue a battery charge,” Chief Deputy District Attorney Ron Bloxham tells Extra. “It should be noted that Tommy Lee has requested that there be no prosecution relating to the incident and there were no injuries to either person.”

So basically they’re both lousy fighters.

Kid Rock still faces charges in Atlanta for that little Waffle House incident.

Tommy Lee Weighs in on His VMA Smackdown

Tommy Lee and Criss Angel at the VMAs

What on earth did we do before blogs?

How did celebrities ever speak their minds?

Tommy Lee wants to tell his story of the fight he had with Kid Rock at the VMAs, so he’s taken to his blog to get the word out. What you need to focus on here are the letters that come in between the super-ellipses. I know all the dots on the page are hard to ignore and very, very important — not to mention grammatically essential — but please try to direct your focus to the actual words.

Yeah!! …..here I am minding my own biz having a great time with my friend Criss Angel (magician) and watching the Mtv awards in the front row saying hello to all my friends……Pamela comes and sits on my lap who I love and adore….and also say hello to my friend Travis Barker and his wife!…..and i get a text from another friend P. Diddy and he says come sit with me…..and he’s sitting with Miss HOT AS FUCK!!!!…..Megan FOX!!! So I go over and sit with P!! Not a minute later and Alicia Keys starts her amazing performance….”i apologize sweetie”…..i had nothing to do with the timing and disrespect, ……back to the stupid-ness!!….so….. I get a tap on the shoulder from Kid Pebble…i stand up and embrace him with a semi hug and say “Hey dude…What up”?? He punches me in the face…..well if ya wanna call it that!?….more like a bitch slap!…….Wuss!! Anyway….i go to knock this jealous no career havin country bumpkin the fuck OUT….and before I can have a meeting with my fist and his ugly ass mug ….security guards…NOT MINE at the Palms grab me and haul my ass outta the award show threatening me that if I move they’ll break my arm……yeah whatever!!….my security guard Bruce grabs them and say’s I got him….let go!!! So im fine and of course leave to my room with police and owner George Maloof……the rest is paper work and bullshit!… Anyway…… I would like to apologize to Alicia and George and Mtv for the disrespectful bullshit caused by a piece of shit called Kid Pebble!!

Much Love always!!…..Tommy!!

Okay, am I the only one who feels dumb about actually laughing out loud at Kid Pebble? I’m not sure why I think it’s so funny. It’s not funny in a brilliantly witty way, but it’s funny in an oh-my-God-a-grown-man-and-the-father-of-children-just-said-this kind of way. Also, I love the name-dropping, Tommy. I wish I were cool enough to know George Maloof. Then I could say his name for reason at all, too.

Also, can I get a brief essay from you on why exactly you put an apostrophe in “say’s”? What, exactly, is the apostrophe replacing there? I’m genuinely curious to hear your thoughts on that.

Even More About the Tommy Lee/Kid Rock Fight: Kid’s Going to Court

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Tommy Lee gave The Insider the following quote about the incident:

“I was minding myself and then he goes and punches me on the cheek,” claims Tommy. “I was trying to be the bigger man, but he was acting childish.”

He added that after Kid came up and punched him, he “was ready to go in the alley and kick his ass. I was about to put Kid in the emergency room when security grabbed me,” says Tommy. “They said, ‘If you move, we will break your arms.’”

Tommy went on to express why Kid probably acted the way he did, saying, “This is what people do when they have shitty albums and their careers are going down the drain.”

Ouch!

(By the way, Tommy Lee’s story is not consistent with what nearby audience members reported seeing.)

Tommy Lee decided to press charges against Kid, who was cited for misdemeanor battery. He will go to court in three to five weeks to enter a plea. The maximum punishment would be a $500 fine and six months in jail.