Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tila Tequila

Tila Tequila Is Converting to Judaism, Admits She’s A Slut on Facebook

A photo of Tila Tequila

You know what, I love my job. I really, truly do. I have a lot of fun, I get paid to do something that I love, I work with a couple of marvelous ladies. It’s really a pretty sweet gig. My only complaint? By the time I got here, Tila Tequila‘s fifteen minutes were pretty much up. I am absolutely fascinated by this girl, but it’s so rare these days that she does something interesting enough to tell you guys about.

But I think I found something this time, because Tila is converting to Judaism. And not for attention! Maybe!

TMZ has learned Tequila has been taking classes at a NY temple to begin the conversion process … and even skipped Christmas this year to focus on change.

We spoke with the former MTV reality star about the situation and she explained, “As time passed, I started to become more and more fascinated with Kabbalah, the culture, and the way of life of the reform Judaism religion.”

And even though she starred in a sex tape, Tequila says … “I feel Orthodox is a little hardcore for me at this stage.”

Tila adds, “I just feel like the Jewish people have such a beautiful way about them, and I can’t wait to officially be Jewish! Shabbat Shalom.”

Could this be the start of a brand new Tila Tequila? Is this girl turning over a whole new leaf? Does she, dare I say, deserve some respect and admiration for this new stage in her life?

Nah, I don’t think so. Like, two hours ago she went and posted all this stuff on her Facebook about how her fans should go play in traffic and how big a slut she is.

Anyone who doesn’t have a sense of humor. PLEASEEE GOD DELETE YOURSELF FROM MY PAGE AND GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC! Not now, but when it’s busy in the daytime. Preferably traffic in NYC or the 405 in LA. Or maybe you should get that stick out of your ass. It’s making you STIFF and GRUMPY! Fart it out bro…. let some life blow back into that hole cuz ppl with no sense of humour seriously needs to 1: GET LAID or 2:GO PLAY IN TRAFFIC and if you’re shitty personality, or lack-there of, interferes with you getting laid, then I guess you should just play in traffic. Everyone who agree’s say I. LOL I got laid so I’m fine. Oh wait, that makes me a slut now doesn’t it? Gosh darnit…nothing I do is right. *kicks rocks* *Hugs a tree* lol

and if you HAVEN’T GOTTEN LAID or just CANNOT then I’ll be charitable just this once and help you. Who’s first? LMAOOOOO! and if you say “EWWWW” or “SLUT” please remove urself from my page. People like you are labeled “DEBBIE DOWNERS” womp! Womp! Womp!!! lol

Pshh I love it how guys always say “GIRL YOU AIN’T READY FOR THIS!” and then they bust a nut before I even take my panties off. MUAHAHHAHAA! C’mon boys…no need for that macho man talk. Just shut up and go downtown ok? thanks. LOL

Awww look at these 12 year olds calling me a slut. Don’t make Miss Tila come and WHOOP YO ASSSS! Go to bed child… go to bed. Where yo parents at? Oh yea, ur Mama’s being a slut with someone that is NOT ur Dad right now… but you wouldn’t understand anyway cuz you’re only 12. Don’t worry sweetie, one day you will and I’ll still be your friend. :) ?

Oh trust me… I aint NO SLUT hunny! I am VERY HARD TO GET, however once you DO GET ME… ohhhh yess I admit.. I will do some very naughty things to you. So in that case, then hell yea I’m a slut! Woohoo! Just not an easy one to get. LOL Well I’ll make an exception when u get me my pink diamond ring. Then I can be your slut all day and cook you dinner wearing my slut lingerie in 7 inch stilettos! I’m clumsy tho so I might “DROP” stuff constantly and will need to bend over to pick it up. OOPSIE! SOWWIE! lol PS-GO TO BED KIDS. MAMA TT IS BEING BAD RIGHT NOW SO CLOSE UR EYES OR GET TO SLEEP! lol

What a gift, right?  Love her.

Just in Case You’ve Been Missing Tila Tequila …

A photo of Tila Tequila

Here she is! To end your Sunday evening with a bang, I’ve compiled a lovely little gallery of Tila Tequila performing in a bar in New York last night. And no, I know it isn’t clear if she’s singing or stripping, but that’s not my fault. That’s just Tila Tequila for you!

Tila Tequila Wants A Piece Of Charlie Sheen

A photo of Tila Tequila

And really, can you blame her?

Tila did a little interview recently, and someone had the brilliant idea to ask her about Charlie Sheen.  And this is what our girl had to say:

“I could definitely do a better job than [Bree Olson and Natalie Kenly] can,” Tila says. “He won’t need anyone else around. There’d only be one goddess. I could show Chucky a good time — but also help him out.”

She went on to talk about how Charlie needs help, so on and so forth, but I say save that talk for Dr. Drew (who, by the way, thinks that maybe Charlie needs to be put on a 5150, or an involuntary hold for not-so-stable people).  All I care about is how Tila Tequila wants to be Charlie Sheen’s goddess.  Can you even imagine how fantastic that would be?  Charlie could save Tequila from Juggalo attacks and make classy sex tapes with her, and Tila could give Charlie that Shot at Love – real love – that he truly deserves.

Just In Case You Ever Wanted to See Jennifer Aniston Chat Up Tila Tequila

Between the charm of Tila, the beautiful, bitter sass of Jennifer and the mere presence of my one true love, Zach Galifianakis, I really couldn’t ask for anything more in an interview.  I mean, in a perfect world, this clip would also feature Katy Perry stumbling around in the background, talking ad nauseam about her breasts, but I find it’s always better to shoot for obtainable dreams, don’t you?

Oh, and just in case that wasn’t enough hilarious for you (and I don’t have to do this, mind you, this is just something I’m doing for you out of the kindness of my heart and out of the depths of my love for you), have you guys seen the Drunk History series on Funny or Die?  It contains such wonders as John C. Reilly and Crispin Glover reenacting the story of Tesla and Edison as told by a dude who drank a six pack and half a bottle of absinthe.

If you don’t laugh at either of those things, then I suggest you stop taking cues from Kristen Stewart and learn to let go a little.  That, or leave us a comment with something that actually does crack you up so we know that your heart is still beating.

Tila Tequila’s Hot Thanksgiving Eve Celebration Featuring Other Reputable People

photo of tila tequila giving kate major a lap dance pictures

If you’re like a lot of people, you probably went out and celebrated Thanksgiving Eve with a night of debauchery and libations, hoping vaguely through muddy thoughts that you’re not too hungover the next day for the big eats and won’t puke on your plateful of Aunt Josie’s giblet stuffing which, ironically, looks much like your vomit. If you did, you weren’t alone. Some of my more … interesting memories have occurred on Thanksgiving Eve, and most of them I will probably never live down.

Kind of like our girl Tila Tequila. Tila, who is normally pretty demure, took her antics up a notch this past Wednesday evening at the House of Blues in LA, where she grinded and gyrated on top of Michael Lohan’s on-again, off-again girlfriend, Kate Major, who is apparently a good friend. And yes, we have the photos to prove it.

The evening was held in celebration to honor Kate’s birthday, along with Joslyn James’ and Gina Rodriguez’s. James, if you’ll remember, was one of the porn stars that got chummy with Tiger Woods’ pork sword, and Gina Rodriguez was the woman who allegedly had the affair with married Bones star, David Boreanaz.

And just when you thought the evening could get no trashier – Michael Lohan was also in attendance.

So if you’re still stuffed from yesterday, and the old finger-down-the-throat trick isn’t working to clear your gorge, just check out the photo featuring Tila whipping her greasy-assed hair around and that should just about do it.

Tila Tequila and Kate Major: New BFF Alert!

A photo of Tila Tequila and Kate Major

Photo via Radar

You know these ladies.  Kate Major, former girlfriend of Michael Lohan and Jon Gosselin, and Tila Tequila … well, I think we’re all familiar with Tila Tequila’s contributions to the world.  This picture was taken of the two women out at a party in L.A., and don’t they just look so chummy?  Understandably so – can you imagine the kind of hijinks these two could get in together?  Tila could introduce Kate to the world of music, and Kate could introduce Tila to the world of dating shady dudes.  This is the new Laverne and Shirley, guys, believe it.

Also, in that picture there, do you guys see a little scar where Tila’s oversized bandaid used to be, or is that just me?

The One in Which I Feel Bad For Tila Tequila

You know, I rag on Tila Tequila as much as the next person. I think she’s a conniving, vindictive, lying little famewhore that deserves zero iotas of fame, because not only is she talentless, but she’s also vapid and insipid, and tries to hide that with her big fake tits.  And that’s just bad.

But lets put aside my personal opinions on Tila Tequila’s inadequacies. These photos were taken of Tila Tequila in the aftermath of the ‘Juggalo Gathering,’ where she was attacked. Many said that Tila was making the incident up, but after Method Man’s admission that he, too, had problems with the crowd, many people changed their stories and said, ‘Hell, if Meth was attacked, Tila must have been, too, ’cause she’s so much more obnoxious.’

My opinion? While her ass shouldn’t have been there anyway — because really, who wants Tila Tequila at any public event that they have to pay money for; I’d be pissed, too — it was totally wrong and reprehensible for the crowd to react in the way they did. It was said that she ‘insulted’ the crowd. Funny thing.  Method Man was attacked because he supposedly ‘insulted’ them, too. My thoughts? These assholes in the audience were looking to be ‘insulted,’ and jumped at the chance to intentionally injure an onstage performer, no matter who it was, or what straws they had to grasp at in order to justify it.

So, yes. Tila Tequila is a pain in the ass, and she definitely does have some evident personality disorders and a plethora of emotional issues to match, but she is a person. And anyone who says that she ‘deserved’ this or ‘should have gotten worse’ is as bad as the people in the audience who were bombing people — OTHER LIVING, BREATHING HUMAN BEINGS — with broken glass, shit and beer cans.