Saturday Night Live has been criticized lately for not having any black female comedians on their show. They hired 6 new comedians for the new season, all white, most male. They really need as many white dudes as possible so they can continue to do stuff like this. No, but seriously, it’s pretty ridiculous that there hasn’t been a woman of color in the cast since Maya Rudolph left in 2007. And before her, there were only 3 black female cast members throughout the history of SNL: Yvonne Huson, Danitra Vance and Ellen Cleghorne. That’s pretty pitiful and ridiculous (yes, I’m using that word again, I can think of none better) for a show that’s been on since 1975.
So, producers/executives held “secret” auditions for black female comedians only, at the legendary Groundlings imrpov theater in Los Angeles. It would have been secret but some women (above) tweeted and Instagrammed about it. Yeah, and I’m sure the producers are reeeeeeal mad that this was leaked.
It is like Remington Steele or Moonlighting, but in a sitcom. These two stars of a hit network comedy can’t stand each other. They always are competing for more lines and the male half of the show is really upset at the special treatment his female co-star gets because of her burgeoning career. He would love to see the couple get divorced on the show so he could have it all to himself. He actually said he would love to see her character leave the show in other ways, but they are not very sitcom friendly so would settle for the divorce.
– Hit network comedy.
– Female co-star has a “burgeoning career.”
– They play a married couple.
If we were still in the 1990′s this has Mad About You written all over it. Goddamn they were an annoying couple. Could it be Mike & Molly starring Melissa McCarthy and Billy Gardell? Her career has really exploded since Bridesmaids and she’s still rising. 2012 was a great year for her. That’s my best guess as of now. What you guys think?
Prince Michael Jackson I AKA , Prince Michael, AKA Michael Joseph Jackson Jr., AKA Michael Jackson‘s oldest son, is working as a special correspondent for Entertainment Tonight. Is everyone else thinking, “Wait…what?” Jackson is 16. Meanwhile Lindsay Lohan still can’t get a job. His first interview for the show was with James Franco, Zach Braff, and Sam Raimi of Oz the Great and Powerful. Ewww, Zach Braff. Sorry, at this point, that’s just a reflex I picked up from the ’00s.
I’m looking to become well-rounded as a producer, director, screenwriter and actor.
Dude, I don’t even doubt him. I bet he can do it. In this video, an ET exclusive, Jackson is composed, smart, and sauve. Brooke Anderson, his mentor that’s interveiwing him, is the opposite of all of these. Anderson gushes and giggles,
You’re only sixteen but you seem so much wise and older than your years!
To which Jackson responds,
That’s all thanks to my dad.
And then Anderson lets out a hushed and awed, “Aaohhhhhhhhh” like Jackson just told her, “I am the reincarnation of an Egyptian Pharaoh which is why I’m so much older and wiser beyond my years, shamone.”
Courteney Cox and Matthew Perry, AKA Monica + Chandler = 4eva, are going to be reunited on television. Ms. Cox is filming a role on Mr. Perry’s show Go On [And Cancel Us Already] at this very moment. Yay! Above is the photo she posted on her twitter account with, “My first box husband.” (I guess she means first television husband? What an…interesting way to say that. Or something? I don’t know, what’s going on?)
THEN, Perry posted a photo of his own, on his twitter account, tweeting “Yayyyyyyyy!”
Yay indeed, everyone! Seeing this photo is making me feel old. Cox looks like my therapist now. And Perry looks adorable but may want to rethink that 12 year-old at the skater park hairdo. Or not, whatever. I’M BREEZY!
Helena Bohnam Carter, despite looking nothing like Elizabeth Taylor (to quote Bohnam, “I look nothing like her”) but is totally stunning and beautiful in a different way, is going to play her in a film for the BBC. Suck it, Lohan! Titled Burton and Taylor, with Dominic West as Richard Burton, this television film will mainly focus on their relationship in the ’80s. In 1983 Burton and Taylor, 7 years divorced (for the second time), starred in the Broadway play Private Lives. Liz & Dick focused more on their relationship in the ’60s and ’70s and spent about 2 minutes on his death, giving us the amazing scene of Lindsay in a full-on Liz Taylor-White-Diamonds-Commercial-look mourning Burton’s grave.
(This is what I'm talking about. Is this not glorious?)
Look, as bad as that film was, it was also enjoyable. Grant Bowler did a good job of playing the dramatic and hammy Richard Burton, and Lindsay had one really great moment where she delivered a line really well while actually sounding and laughing like Elizabeth Taylor. The costumes were enchanting and Creed from The Office was in it. So the whole thing wasn’t a total waste.
I think we can all agree without question though that Ms. Helena Bee Cee will do a far better job, because of, you know, the ability to act. Perhaps the most shocking thing about this film is that Tim Burton isn’t working on it. The film will air sometime in the fall.
I know, I know, this might be hard for you to understand. But since we’ve been talking about theme songs already today, I figured we’d take a break from loving Jennifer Lawrence and checking out Miley Cyrus’ boobs and talk about something really relevant: the theme song from Frasier.
You remember it, right? There’s probably not a whole lot of remembering to do, because the last time I had cable, I remember reruns being on constantly and taking up some valuable Golden Girls time. And I never really liked the show, but I did catch it more than once, and I remember always being mystified by the theme song. “What do tossed salads and scrambled eggs have to do with anything?” I would wonder. A couple of years ago, I even tried to look it up. I took actual time out of my life to look up the meaning of the Frasier theme song, that’s how much it drove me crazy.
But hey, no worries! The songwriter just explained everything!
Having been the composer on a show called “Wings”, I was asked by the creator’s of that show to try to come up with a song for their next effort….that is to submit as one of three submissions for the “prize” in a blindfold test to chose the one they liked best!
I was told they wanted something pretty eclectic and jazzy, but to avoid any direct references to specific subject matter. So it was necessary to stay away from words about psychiatry, radio shows, the name “Frasier”, and anything else directly indicating aspects of the show.
I immediately wrote the song/music itself, but then needed a lyric that would work, so I called my friend Darryl Phinnesse who is really talented and really smart. I gave him the idea of the show and he called back with the idea of “Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs”. At first I was a bit baffled myself until he explained that these were things that were “mixed up”….like Frasier Crane’s patients. Once we agreed on this premise (by the time I fully understood it), we went into completing the song. I actually did contribute a couple lines, but the heavy lifting here was Darryl, and lucky for me that I went to him to him in the first place.
“Hey baby I hear the blues a-callin”-refers to patients with troubles calling into the radio show
“Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs”
“But maybe I seem a bit confused”-Frasier’s personality was a bit????
“Maybe, but I got you pegged”-Frasier does understand these people and helps them.
“But I don’t know what to do with those Tossed Salads and Scrambled Eggs”-it’s a tough business….gotta deal with these “crazies” every day.
“They’re calling again”-oh, oh….should be self explanatory.
And there you have it! Mystery solved! I feel about a million times better about the world, and I thought you might feel the same. We’ll get back to our regular business of sarcasm and worshipping Ryan Gosling shortly!
Friends: let us pause for a moment of silence, collectively click “play” on this video, and watch a stirring tribute to the television shows that died this year. Then, while you are fumbling for your handkerchiefs, I will loose the doves.
Uh. Tell you the truth, I thought Friday Night Lights ended its run like two years ago. Oh, sure, I remember the outpouring of grief when it ended and everything. It’s just that I… misremember… it happening… in 2009ish. Oops.
I did kind of like Human Target. And when any iteration of Law & Order gets yanked, all humankind suffers the loss. Oof.
And then there’s Outsourced—it was canceled? Oh, thank God. I thought that show was pretty offensive, but mostly I was offended because it was terrible.
And some shows—like HBO’s Bored to Death, which I looo-ooooved—aren’t memorialized in this video at all! Hmph.
What other shows are missing from this video? What shows were unceremoniously murdered before their time? And most importantly, WHICH SHOWS WEREN’T CANCELED SOON ENOUGH? Meet me downstairs in the comments, where we will all eulogize together.
P.S. Stop the video short if you don’t want to see how Big Love ends. Seriously.