Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Jake Gyllenhaal’s Pricey Birthday Gift For Taylor Swift

What do you get for the girl who has everything? Well, what she hints for, obviously.

According to the The Sun, Jake Gyllenhaal flew to Nashville to spend this past weekend with his sweetheart Taylor Swift for her birthday. The two popped into a guitar shop to poke around and that’s when Taylor set her eyes on a Fender Gretsch signed by country music legend Chet Atkins. After creating a fuss over the guitar, Jake went back and purchased it for her. Originally it was supposed to be a token of his affection, but he later realized that it would be perfect as a birthday gift.

Smart play on Taylor’s part. It’s almost as if she couldn’t afford to buy fifty guitars on her own.

Taylor Swift: Entertainer of the Year?

A photo of Taylor Swift

Ok, maybe that headline is a little wrong, because Taylor Swift was obviously officially named Entertainment Weekly‘s Entertainer of the Year, that’s not a question.  I guess the question is more of an incredulous “really?”

I think Taylor Swift seems like a sweet girl and everything, and I’m super excited about her new role as Jake Gyllenhaal’s beard, but Entertainer of the Year seems like a bit much.  Or really, I think her overwhelming popularity seems to be a bit much.  I’m sure her music’s enjoyable if you go for that sort of thing, but have you seen her live performance?  It’s not that great.  In fact, she’s sort of notoriously bad in concert.  I’m not saying that I could do any better, I’m just saying that I was at this party last night and in between rounds of shots, a couple of my friends played that classic game, “Turn the Shitty Pop Song Into a Showtune,” and their drunken theatrical version of Ke$ha’s “Take It Off” was way better than anything I’ve ever seen Taylor do.  And that definitely makes me question the integrity of this award.

Who do you guys think would have been better suited for this honor?  Lady Gaga?  Bristol Palin? Steve Guttenberg?

The ‘First’ Photo of Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift Emerges

photo of jake gyllenhaal and taylor swift eating dinner pictures photographs

And of course girlfriend is wearing a knit hat with hearts on it. Would you expect anything less? Tcha.  Thought not.

Earlier in the week, sources at People claimed that they’d seen Taylor and Jake out and about during the Thanksgiving holiday in New York City, where they ordered maple lattes at a nearby coffee bar.  (And have you ever had a maple latte? Because they are to die for, and I’m not kidding when I say that I made four of them for myself this past Thanksgiving weekend, and I’m paying the price today.)  Fast-forward two days and the plot thickens, as the couple was allegedly photographed at a restaurant in Nashville. The above photo is the apparent evidence that the couple does, in fact, exist. The picture was reportedly sent in to Perez Hilton by a reader who claimed that, yeah, the photo is the real deal and not a hoax manufactured somewhere on the ‘net.

So, fine readers – the pic.  Real, or faked by some people who had some bored Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal-looking friends who were too poor to spend all of their money on Black Friday, so they decided to take a crazy picture at a random restaurant in Nashville instead?

I’m going to go with ‘real,’ because I so want it to be, and because the two in the photo look just exhausted by a general depletion of bodily fluids; you can just tell that these two bumped uglies all Thanksgiving and Black Friday-weekend long, and you know what?  Good on them.

Quotables: Kanye West is Really Pissed at Taylor Swift

“Taylor never came to my defense at any interview. And rode the waves and rode it and rode it.”

- Kanye West, ranting about Taylor Swift’s behavior, during a surprise performance at NYC’s Bowery Ballroom.

I totally, 100% agree with Kanye West and I think you all need to get hip to his way of thinking.

Here’s the truth: After a year of her becoming the public’s lapdog and then condescending to him on national television with that rude-ass song she sang at the VMAs, a flat-out, “Yeezy’s not a bad dude, we’re cool,” would be the classy, right thing for her to do. It’s over a year later, he’s cried in interviews about how badly he feels about his actions and acknowledged his wrongness endlessly yet he’s still being villainized and harassed.

At this point, Taylor not publicly insisting to the public that she’s over what he did and probably a better person for it is like her way of torturing him. That leads me to believe that she’s comfortable playing the victim while actually getting everything she wants. And it’s that type of person who disgusts me the most.

Taylor Swift is Always Surprised

Rich from FourFour, who is a total genius, put together this clip of Taylor Swift’s surprised reactions from various award shows over the past couple years and it’s pretty hilarious. I don’t know if I’ve ever noticed that Taylor is so easily thrown for a loop, but the video evidence of this goes on forever.

Quotables: Taylor Swift Gave You Fair Warning

“Every guy who walks in my life has had fair warning that this is what I do. I’ve been this way for three albums. It’s easy for guys to forget that I write about everything because it’s my job and they’re in a relationship with me.”

- Taylor Swift spoke about her “trashing exes-only” style of songwriting to Bang Showbiz, not realizing how much it sounds like she took a page out of The Emily Gould Book of Excuses.

Looks Like This Whole Swyllengift Thing Might Be For Real

photo of taylor swift being romantic making heart signs with her hands pictures

Yeah, ‘Swyllengift.’  You heard it here first.  Totally made it up myself. Before coffee. So I haven’t even had a breath’s time to decide whether or not it sucks, or if I’m going to start referring to Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift as … Swyllengift. I mean, fuck. It’s better than Brangelina … Or worse, Bennifer. Do y’all remember the original Bennifer (Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez)? Those were some great days for gossip. The really seedy, voyeuristic part of me would like to see them both leave their spouses and hook back up, complete with pink and yellow diamonds and furs and the way that fake baking looks on Irish boys with large jaws who try too hard. I mean, marriage with Garner is pretty much almost out of the picture anyway, isn’t it?

Anyway, half of the couple I’m most fascinated with these days (Taylor Swift and Jake Gyllenhaal) appeared on today’s Ellen DeGeneres Show and of course, Ellen pushed Taylor for details on the relationship in that oh-so-coy way that she has. From People:

“Are you optimistic about love? How do you feel about love right now?” DeGeneres, addressing the topic at hand, asks Swift on The Ellen DeGeneres Show episode airing Monday.

“I’m always optimistic about love,” responds Swift 20.

Confirming Swift’s stance, DeGeneres repeats, “So you’re always optimistic about love?”

“Yes, always, sometimes,” says Swift, beginning to backtrack slightly.

“But right now you are?” asks DeGeneres.

“Well, why wouldn’t anyone be?” says Swift, before DeGeneres boldly states, “Especially if your boyfriend is Jake Gyllenhaal, because he is very handsome.”

But, DeGeneres concludes, “Y’all are just hanging out though, right?”

Swift acknowledges that she and Gyllenhaal were photographed together in New York last weekend. As the singer says to DeGeneres, “You have a picture of us on the [TV] screen, don’t you?”

“Right,” admits DeGeneres. “But it’s just y’all hanging out – this does not prove anything. I’m just saying he’s adorable and I like him very much, and so if that is the case that he’s your boyfriend, I think that’s fantastic.”

So, good. More of these non-details that continuously confirm that Swift and Gyllenhaal are dry humping, because I don’t see Taylor givin’ it up just yet. And by the way, Donnie Darko was on television last night. That a fucked up movie or what?