Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Love It or Leave It: Taylor Swift’s Cutesy Swimwear

A photo of Taylor Swift

Here we have Taylor Swift roaming around the beach with a bunch of her girlfrans on the 4th of July, either before, after, or during her precious time with Arnold Schwarzenegger‘s son, the brand new love of her life. She’s also wearing the cutest f-cking swimsuit I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Look at those adorable polka dots, and that little bow on the front? That’s just darling. This whole thing is just darling. Do you love it too?

And as an extra special bonus “love it or leave it,” take a quick gander at the “garden” over at my new house:

That’s just the front half of it – it’s actually a pretty sizable piece of land, if you can’t tell. It’s also less of a garden and more of a huge patch of weeds with some wire around it to fence it off from the yard. See, the house is very much a fixer-upper. We’ve ripped up the carpets and we’re in the process of putting down hardwood floors, we’ve had to scrub every surface for hours to get the mold and the dirt to come off, and this weekend is going to be the super fun process of ripping up the bathroom floor because the wood has rotted from the water damage. I’ve learned such handy lessons like how to determine the square footage of a room (I think) and why we can’t have knobs shaped like bunnies on all the cabinets in the kitchen (though honestly, I still don’t get that one). But I have no idea where to even start with this big ol’ mess of weeds next to my house. Any tips?

PHOTO: Taylor Swift Has a New Man!

photo of taylor swift and patrick schwarzenegger pictures
Eyewitness sources claim that Taylor Swift has a new boy “friend”—and it’s none other than the son of another famous cheater, Arnold Schwarzenegger.

TMZ had cameras in the area up in Massachusetts yesterday for the Fourth of July, and they happened to catch Taylor flirting madly and disappearing on a long walk with Arnold’s eighteen-year-old son, Patrick Schwarzenegger.

It’s unknown if Taylor and Patrick are officially dating, or if Patrick wants to avoid that real-label shit like the plague—’cause who wants to be sung about in a negative way in six months anyhow—but judging from the above photo, it sure looks like the two were having fun.

Now if Taylor could just start dating men who are mature (this Patrick boy and Taylor Lautner aren’t exactly “mature” at the young age of 17 and 18; and dating the notoriously immature John Mayer doesn’t really do much for girl’s reputation in choosing men), she might actually be doing well for herself. She sure is getting around, at any rate.

‘Til then, I have no doubts that we’re probably going to hear some crappy, twangy country song courtesy of Taylor Swift squawking about how the apple don’t fall so far from the tree and how pregnant maids aren’t people—especially when they’re on their backs f-cking the real number one number two number three love of your life.


More on the John Mayer-Taylor Swift Feud

So sources are saying now that John Mayer treated Taylor Swift like shit during the time that they dated or slept together or John took advantage of Taylor or WHATEVER we’re calling it these days, and honestly, I’m kind of surprised that Taylor would take it, if she did. If you listen to the lyrics of Taylor’s song, ‘Dear John’, it seems like the relationship ended and she felt sad about it because she didn’t want it to end, even though ‘John’ (AKA JOHN) was a total bag of dicks, and that kind of shocks me. Cue lyrics:

Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you
Counting my footsteps praying the floor won’t fall through again
And my mother accused me of losing my mind
But I swore I was fine

You paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain
And I lived in your chess game, but you changed the rules everyday
Wondering which version of you I might get on the phone tonight
Well, I stopped picking up and this song is to let you know why

Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone
Don’t think I was too young to be messed with?
The girl in the dress cried the whole way home
I should’ve known

Well, maybe it’s just me and my blind optimism to blame
Or maybe it’s you and your sick need to give love then take it away
And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand
And I’ll look back and regret how I ignored when they said run as fast as you can

Dear John, I see it all now it was wrong
Don’t you think nineteen’s too young to be played with?
Your dark twisted games when I loved you so
I should’ve known

You are an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry
Never impressed by me acing your tests
All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes
‘Cause you’ve burn them out

But I took your matches before fire could catch me
So don’t look now
I’m shining like fireworks over
Your sad, empty town

See? Interesting. I mean, Taylor’s always kind of struck me as a “grr I’m woman hear me roar” kind of girl, and being under the impression that she’d take being treated like garbage is definitely news to me. And it certainly puts a different spin on things, too.

John Mayer Thinks Taylor Swift is Cheap and Humiliating

photo of john mayer pictures
Oh gosh, for the first time in the history of mankind, I agree with something John Mayer’s saying. Is it time to throw the towel in on being a normal, well-adjusted human being? Well, maybe, but I’ve been thinking about that for some time now, anyway.

From a recent Rolling Stone interview:

John Mayer says that he was “really humiliated” by Taylor Swift’s song “Dear John,” which the country-pop star allegedly wrote about him. “It made me feel terrible,” Mayer says in the new issue of Rolling Stone, on newsstands Friday. “Because I didn’t deserve it. I’m pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do. … I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call,” he says. “I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I’d already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you’ve ever been, someone kicked you even lower?”

Also, John says that Taylor’s schtick of talking about her boyfriends through a song is merely cheap songwriting. ZING!:

Mayer also takes issue with “Dear John” as a musician. “I will say as a songwriter that I think it’s kind of cheap songwriting,” he says. “I know she’s the biggest thing in the world, and I’m not trying to sink anybody’s ship, but I think it’s abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, ‘Wait till he gets a load of this!’ That’s bullshit.”

Oh God. It’s official. I think I’m in love with this man. It just tickles me to death that someone could sock it to Taylor Swift like this, and hit her where it counts for being such a whiny pain in the ass. Something tells me that she’s going to write a song soon about how horrible it is not to be as important or as special as Jennifer Aniston. But it’s going to be “cryptic,” of course, so keep your eyes out or you might miss it. It’ll be named something like, “But I’m Even Sadder Than You So PAY ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD” or something.

And speaking of something, something to make me love semi-respect John even more? His new album, ‘Born and Raised’, is said to be authentic Montana-living cowboy, and that sounds like something I’d totally be into:

And this is what I dug up after a little searching:

Come on. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS. OK—I’m a little overexcited, I admit it. But how can you, at the very least, not enjoy this?

Way to go, John. I guess I’m totally in your corner these days.

But A Few People Looked OK at The Billboard Music Awards

A photo of Taylor Swift

Like Taylor Swift here. Taylor Swift looked ok at the Billboard Music Awards. In fact, I’d wager that she had the best look of the night, generally speaking. I really like her dress, and it obviously looks great on her.

Another lady who had a good look was Brandy, but to be honest, I can’t decide if I actually like her dress or if I just think she looks nice because I’ve always been envious of hair like that. Regardless, gold shoes!

A photo of Brandy

Next up is Jordin Sparks, who I’ve always thought was completely adorable, wearing a lovely little dress. This one is remarkable because it’s one of the only dresses I’ve ever seen on a red carpet that I would actually like to wear in real life:

A photo of Jordin Sparks

Then there’s one of our favorite ladies, Zooey Deschanel, going after my own heart in a sparkly dress and black tights:

A photo of Zooey Deschanel

But then we have my personal favorite dress, worn by the very fabulous Carrie Underwood:

A photo of Carrie Underwood

But which one was your favorite?

Everyone’s Talking About Taylor Swift’s Boobs

A photo of Taylor Swift

See? It’s because they look bigger now.

From Hollywood Life:

Taylor Swift may be known for her wholesome image and tearful love songs about boys that have broken her heart, but it seems the country cutie has jumped on the Beverly Hills bandwagon and had some plastic surgery. And you know what, I applaud her!

Taylor obviously felt self-conscious about the size of her breasts, so she did something about it!

Dr. Anthony Youn estimates that Taylor increased her cup size from a small A to a striking C.

“It looks very nice and proportional,” adds Beverly Hills plastic surgeon Dr. Richard Fleming.

Going up two cup sizes makes an obvious difference on Taylor’s tiny frame. Thankfully she didn’t overdo it a la Heidi Montag! While getting plastic surgery is indeed a personal decision, Taylor has a history of being open with her fans. She wasn’t ashamed to share when Joe Jonasbroke up with her over text message and she openly sang about John Mayer breaking her heart, so why is Taylor being so tight-lipped about getting implants?

Fake breasts in Hollywood are as commonplace as Starbucks. After next week, three of the eight Teen Moms will even have them! Instead of hiding her surgery, Taylor should use this as an opportunity to create a dialogue about body image with her young fans.

I don’t know. I mean, she obviously looks bigger, but I really didn’t think Taylor Swift would be the kind of girl to get breast implants. If she is, more power to her, but she’s worked so hard on her squeaky clean image and that middle school vibe that implants just seem really out of place.

But again, here’s Taylor on April 2nd:

A photo of Taylor Swift

And here she is on April 23rd:

A photo of Taylor Swift

What do you think? The photos were taken three weeks apart, so would that be enough time to get the surgery and heal up enough to go out in a cute, tight dress? Based on my extensive viewing of Bridalplasty, I’m pretty sure it is.

What's with Taylor Swift's boobs?
View Results

Taylor Swift Might Play Joni Mitchell in A Movie

A photo of Taylor Swift

Sometimes something happens that makes me roll my eyes so hard and for so long that I worry that they might get stuck mid-roll. That seriously happens: I roll my eyes long enough to have time to consider what would happen if my eyeballs got permanently stuck the wrong way. Roll your eyes and think about how long that takes. Whatever caused the initial eye roll has got to be some intense bullshit to start that cycle, right?

This time, it’s the fact that Taylor Swift is apparently in talks to play Joni Mitchell in an upcoming film:

Taylor Swift is circling the role of Joni Mitchell in Sony Pictures and Di Bonaventura Pictures’ adaptation of Sheila Weller’s book “Girls Like Us,” which would mark the pop star’s first turn in a bigscreen drama.Pic examines the careers of singers Mitchell, Carly Simon and Carole King. Swift does not have an official offer, but has been linked to the Mitchell role for several months as other actresses have auditioned to play Simon and King, including Alison Pill (“Midnight in Paris”) for the latter singer.

“House” exec producer Katie Jacobs, who optioned the book several years ago, is directing from a script by John Sayles. Lorenzo di Bonaventura (“Transformers”) is set to produce the Sony pic, which has not yet been greenlit, though it is tentatively skedded to start production later this year when the three leads’ schedules allow for filming.

Swift, who’s currently featured on “The Hunger Games” soundtrack, made her feature acting debut in ensemble rom-com “Valentine’s Day,” and recently voiced a role in Universal’s “The Lorax.” Before that, she appeared as herself in the 2009 Miley Cyrus vehicle “Hannah Montana: The Movie.”

No, Taylor. Please, no. Anything but this. I just got over the trauma I experienced when it was reported that you were going to play Eponine in the Les Miserables movie, and now this? Now you’re trying to ruin Joni Mitchell? That beautiful, inspiring legend of a woman, Joni Mitchell? I just can’t.

But what do you guys think?