Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift Might Play Joni Mitchell in A Movie

A photo of Taylor Swift

Sometimes something happens that makes me roll my eyes so hard and for so long that I worry that they might get stuck mid-roll. That seriously happens: I roll my eyes long enough to have time to consider what would happen if my eyeballs got permanently stuck the wrong way. Roll your eyes and think about how long that takes. Whatever caused the initial eye roll has got to be some intense bullshit to start that cycle, right?

This time, it’s the fact that Taylor Swift is apparently in talks to play Joni Mitchell in an upcoming film:

Taylor Swift is circling the role of Joni Mitchell in Sony Pictures and Di Bonaventura Pictures’ adaptation of Sheila Weller’s book “Girls Like Us,” which would mark the pop star’s first turn in a bigscreen drama.Pic examines the careers of singers Mitchell, Carly Simon and Carole King. Swift does not have an official offer, but has been linked to the Mitchell role for several months as other actresses have auditioned to play Simon and King, including Alison Pill (“Midnight in Paris”) for the latter singer.

“House” exec producer Katie Jacobs, who optioned the book several years ago, is directing from a script by John Sayles. Lorenzo di Bonaventura (“Transformers”) is set to produce the Sony pic, which has not yet been greenlit, though it is tentatively skedded to start production later this year when the three leads’ schedules allow for filming.

Swift, who’s currently featured on “The Hunger Games” soundtrack, made her feature acting debut in ensemble rom-com “Valentine’s Day,” and recently voiced a role in Universal’s “The Lorax.” Before that, she appeared as herself in the 2009 Miley Cyrus vehicle “Hannah Montana: The Movie.”

No, Taylor. Please, no. Anything but this. I just got over the trauma I experienced when it was reported that you were going to play Eponine in the Les Miserables movie, and now this? Now you’re trying to ruin Joni Mitchell? That beautiful, inspiring legend of a woman, Joni Mitchell? I just can’t.

But what do you guys think?

And Here We Have A Video of Taylor Swift And Her Cat

I’ll say this much about Taylor Swift: she can be pretty cute sometimes. But you know who pulls off cute way, way better? Her cat, Meredith. Meredith is a zillion times cuter than Taylor could ever even dream of being, and it’s clear who the real star of this video is.

By the way, this video? Hush, Taylor Swift. I really appreciate you for showing off one of the most precious kitties I’ve ever seen, but you need to stop pretending like you don’t know you’ll win this Entertainer of the Year award at the ACM Awards again this year. I swear, if I have to see your surprised face one more time, I may very well lose my mind. And that would never do, because then how could I cleverly plot out how to kidnap your cat?

You guys. That cat.

Taylor Swift Made How Much Money Last Year?

A photo of Taylor Swift

Look at Taylor Swift up there, frolicking on the beach, looking so happy and carefree, without a care in the world! Why does she look so happy? Because she really doesn’t have a care in the world. Because Taylor Swift made almost 36 million dollars last year. Just think about that for a moment, how much money that is. Can you even fathom it? Do you need a little help? Ok, that’s more money than Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, and Adele made last year. Combined.

From MTV:

Lady Gaga, Katy Perry and Adele had huge years in 2011, with major tours, strings of hit singles, Grammy wins and #1-hogging chart-topping albums. But when Billboard magazine compiled its 2012 list of “Music’s Top 40 Money Makers” it was Taylor Swift who ruled them all. In fact, the 22-year-old country-pop darling out-earned all of her fellow ladies combined.

According to the magazine’s calculations, Swift earned her #1 spot on the list thanks to reported earnings of $35.7 million in the 2011 calendar year. Those earnings came from a combination of revenue from the quadruple-platinum-plus sales of Speak Now and its accompanying tour, which grossed $88.5 million in the U.S. alone.

But because Swift writes her own songs, she rolled up a big chunk of change in songwriting royalties as well.

Right behind Swift was iconic rock band U2, who earned a reported $32.1 million thanks to their record-setting 360 Tour — which grossed a whopping $736 million total over two years — including $50 million in merchandise sales and 1.4 million in digital track sales.

Country singer Kenny Chesney was #3 with $29.8 million, followed by previous tally topper Gaga at #4 with $25.3 million. She stayed in the top 5 thanks to sales of Born This Way and its accompanying Monster Ball Tour, which grossed more than $51 million. She also moved 12.7 million digital tracks. Lil Wayne rounded out the top 5 with $23.1 million, made up of 12.3 million digital track sales, $44.7 million in tour grosses and cash from his gig as founder of Young Money Entertainment.

The rest of the top 10: Sade (#6, $16.3 million), Bon Jovi (#7, $15.8 million), Celine Dion (#8, $14.2 million) andJason Aldean (#9, $13.4 million). Adele rounded out the top 10 list at #10 with $13 million, mostly from the unstoppable streak of her 21 album’s chart run,? which included sales of 6.7 million copies last year alone.

The “Glee” cast were just outside the top 10 at #11 ($12.5 million), Katy Perry hit #14 ($11.9 million), Britney Spears was at #16 ($10 million) and like her sisters in pop, Rihanna made it to #22 ($7.6 million) through a combination of album and single sales and touring revenue.

Other notable entries: Enrique Iglesias (#23, $7.4 million), Usher (#30, $6.2 million), Foo Fighters (#31, $6 million), Justin Bieber (#35, $5.5 million), Kanye West (#39, $5.3 million) and Linkin Park (#40, $5.1 million).

Billboard calculated the figures based on proprietary data from its Boxscore archives for concert grosses, Nielsen SoundScan for sales of physical and digital albums, singles and ringtone sales, and Nielsen BDS for terrestrial radio play and streaming service information.

I was going to get really annoyed by Taylor Swift’s popularity like I do, but then I saw that Kenny Chesney is third on this list, above Lady Gaga and all those other insanely popular ladies I previously mentioned. So there’s no way on earth that this could be accurate, right? Kenny Chesney? Really?

Love It or Leave It: This is How Taylor Swift Wooed Tim Tebow

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Come on, don’t act as if you didn’t know. Tim Tebow is totally using Taylor Swift for her body, duh. Jake Gyllenhaal? Took the risk of being the brunt of Taylor Swift‘s passive-aggressive songs just for the pleasure of being able to run his hand down her … spine.

Now don’t get me wrong: I didn’t say that they were, like, going to do it or anything (the outrage! the scandal!). It’s just that Tim’s got someone to focus his fantasies on – even if he’s not going to act them out – and Taylor? Well. She’s just the perfect little subject, now, isn’t she? And eyewitnesses say that Tim and Taylor’s date (bad, bad Home Improvement flashback right there, guys) went really, really well:

Oh, wait, sorry, not that. This:

A source told Us Weekly: ”There were no public displays of affection between Taylor and Tim, but she surely looked happy to be there.” Another insider added: ”Yes, she has a crush on him. She is a massive fan, but I don’t think he sees her that way.”

During the two-hour meal, the ‘Mean’ hitmaker was spotted sipping on a cafe latte, while the Denver Broncos quarterback enjoyed chicken paillard, fettuccine bolognese and cappellini.

However, the blonde beauty is said to have embarked on a ”friendship” with the 24-year-old hunk, rather than a romance. The source added: ”They actually have been speaking a lot about the Bible and Christianity. Right now it’s on the friendship tip – even though that frustrates her.”

So, Taylor sat around drinking coffee while Tim ate, what, for both of them? Sigh! I remember those days – back in high school. It was so uncool to have a guy you were dating see you eat. I mean, what was less hot back then – letting the object of your adolescent affections see you shove something in a hole in the middle of your face while chewing and gnawing, gnashing your teeth and having it ultimately be something that sounds like ‘masturbating’ (masticating)? Oh Taylor. How you make me smile with your young-at-heart … heart.

More importantly, how do y’all like Swifty in her bikini, frolicking down under like it ain’t no thing? Check out the gallery for more photos of Taylor from all angles on the beach.

Guess Who Taylor Swift is Dating?

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If you guys don’t know who this dude is, you apparently don’t watch a whole lot of football. This would be Tim Tebow, the quarterback for the Denver Broncos, and he’s rumored to be dating Taylor Swift.

Our friends at Celebuzz initially reported that the pair were seen getting cozy at a pre-Oscar party, as you can see here:

Taylor Swift was spotted chatting up one of football’s most eligible bachelor. Who was it?

Tim Tebow, of course! Our insider told us that Taylor, who was spotted rocking a black dress, spent most of her evening talking to the hunky quarterback. “They were together for almost an hour,” adds the insider. “She approached Tim and he looked more than happy to be talking with her.”

And now, Clevver News is reporting that the two were seen out to dinner earlier this week, looking quite the couple:

Sweet, right? I don’t quite know. Tim is America’s football’s savior, and Taylor is America’s wannabe sweetheart (who sings country, nonetheless), so it’d just make so much sense for the two of them to get together, right? Look at Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson. Or Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush. Bliss, right? Plus, Tim claims that he’s a virgin, and you know that Taylor has just got to be – otherwise, she’d be married by now, but … I don’t know. I’m just not as tickled by this as I thought I’d be.

Also, let’s not pretend that one of your first thoughts wasn’t “Aww, how sweet – Taylor Tebow. She’s probably writing it all over her notebooks and guitars and, you know, skin.”

Taylor Swift Is Amazing

A photo of Taylor Swift

No really, I mean it. Taylor Swift is an amazing person. I’m using absolutely zero sarcasm right now.

“But Emily,” you might say. “You don’t even like Taylor Swift!” I know, friends, believe me, I know. I think she’s a mediocre musician who needs to live in the present and not in the eighth grade. But you just wait till you hear what Ms. Swift did today, and then you’ll understand. You’ll understand everything.

From E!:

Taylor Swiftknows from “Mean.” And it turns out she’s also pretty familiar with being absolutely lovely.

The country-pop superstar regretfully had to turn down an invitation to attend a prom in New Jersey with 18-year-old Kevin McGuire, who’s battling leukemia.

But Swift came up with one heck of an alternative!

“Kevin, I’m so sorry but I won’t be able to make it to your prom,” Swift wrote on Facebook today. “But I was wondering, the ACM Awards are coming up. Would you be my date? Love, Taylor”

Well, shoot!

What are the chances that, assuming McGuire is able to go, he’ll turn that down?!

The idea of getting Taylor to go to the Sterling High School prom in Somerdale, N.J., originated with McGuire’s big sister, Tori. Knowing that her brother’s spirits needed lifting, Tori started the Facebook page “Taylor Swift take KEVIN MCGUIRE TO PROM!”

“Kevin is the kindest, most noble 18 year old a person could even fathom meeting,” Tori wrote, “and throughout his ups and downs Kevin never even questioned ‘why me?’ Nothing, and I mean NOTHING brightens Kevin’s day more than Taylor Swift.”

McGuire, a varsity football player, was first diagnosed with leukemia when he was 13 and had been in remission since 2010 but recently suffered a relapse.

He is currently undergoing treatment at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia—and it’s an interview he gave to Philly’s Fox 29 about Tori’s efforts that really helped get the ball rolling on Twitter and Facebook. Swift ended up hearing the news while in Australia promoting her latest film, The Lorax.

Are you crying uncontrollably too? Because I just can’t with all this. I know you know that this girl gets on my nerves like no one else, but did you also know that my heart is not so cold to her that I can’t realize when she does something wonderful?

Just to keep the warm and fuzzies going, I’m going to show you guys all my animal babies: my two guinea pigs, my bathroom rat before she became a bathroom rat, and my regular rat. Feel free to keep the adorable going in the comments!

Quotables: Taylor SWIFT (Not Momsen) Just Slammed Miley Cyrus I Think

photo of taylor swift grammys pictures photos pics
“I’m never gonna have the moment where I’m like, ‘I’m a woman now, guys. I’m only gonna write dark songs and I’m gonna dance in my bra all the time’. That’s not really me. I find that 22 is an age where a lot of times artists are like ‘I’m a woman now, guys’. I don’t know. I feel like it should happen naturally for me.”

OK, read that one more time and look at this photo and then tell me that she’s not taking a swipe at Miley Cyrus:

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Right? Or maybe she’s just taking a leaf out of Britney Spears’ book by saying, “I’m not a girl, not yet a woman” or whatever that dumb song was. I just don’t know. Taylor Swift is just completely exhausting, and she might be a whole lot more tolerable if she didn’t open her mouth during these interviews or, you know, write lyrics to the music she composes.

And now wait. Before some of you go all nuts because I kind of get off shitting all over Taylor Swift, let me say that I actually have a POINT to make this time around. You all know that I’m not a fan. I don’t get her bubblegum country that’s all about throwing dudes she’s dated under the bus, and I also don’t get how – or why – she thinks she’s so much better than all of her peers combined, unless they’re people like Katherine Heigl. And that’s not saying a lot. Plus, she’s perpetually stuck in a sophomore state of mind and that, in itself, is annoying unless you are a sophomore in high school.

So, OK. The good side: she won a few Grammys. And some other musical awards. She’s got a solid following comprised of generally well-rounded people. I’ll say this – I’ve never met a Taylor Swift fan that was a horrible person. Girlfriend seems like she came from a decent home and she’s got a good head on her shoulders. But does she have any real friends? She alienates all of the girls that might consider befriending her and she obviously has a hard time remaining friends with any of her ex-boyfriends, so who does that leave? Her fans? Her mom and dad? Her trophies?

Dunno. But it’s sad how every time she opens her mouth, she’s inadvertently comparing herself to other people in the industry in some way, shape, or form. That might get you some talk in the newspapers and blogs, but it’s not going to gain you any friends, girl.