Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Tammy Lynn Michaels

How Melissa Etheridge Ruined Christmas

A photo of Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels

You remember that awful custody battle between Melissa Etheridge and her ex, Tammy Lynn Michaels? Tammy keeps writing bad poetry about it on her blog, and Melissa doesn’t really talk about it all that much? The last we heard, Melissa was giving Tammy $23,000 a month in child support. But now we’re hearing that that’s not nearly enough, and now Tammy can’t afford to buy their kids any Christmas presents. SAD.

Here’s the deal, according to Tammy:

fascinating you know— secrets, they are. People, places, things and accounts, houses, waived rights AND relationships, money —-secrets are sick—a sign of an illness within—disease—playing games with money—phoney baloney—hide and seek—can you find the ball under the clam shell? —christmas is coming—chase the check—chase the check —chase the check—can’t —catch it—oh watch the girl go—empty stockings and tiny boxes—-don’t worry– —i’ll teach them what’s important—nothing close to —what i have to chase in the stupid mail box—but rather—what is in the heart—which could never–never never ever be found in a mail box anyway…………… millionaires in their mansions—-tricking with trusts—-hiding money from Paul behind Peter—–just to steal from the minor in the end—-integrity is a mystery in—-the town of gold dust—-pyrite—fool’s gold —-at times i do feel——as narcissistic as this sounds—that i might be the only —one—with a moral compass —-this side of the Indiana State Line. —tell me it’s not true—-no—-show me—-show me—-someone show me it’s not true…………

If you can’t make sense of that, the deal is that while Melissa is sending Tammy checks, the checks are slow to arrive. Which I guess means that $23,000 is so little to Tammy that she goes through it all in a month, and now that it’s December she doesn’t have any extra to get Christmas presents. That’s what I’m gathering, at least. And that’s so preposterous.

Despite the fact that gifts are obviously not what the holiday season is about (my 12-year-old niece asked me for a laptop, and I sort of laughed in her face, then cried inside a little, and then told her she was getting books instead), I still find it so hard to believe Tammy here. Unless when she talks about the checks being late she means that they’re several months late, then I really don’t want to hear about it. If money is that hard on $23,000 a month, then maybe you need to reevaluate your life. Maybe move somewhere less expensive, maybe review your expenses. I don’t even know, maybe just pray about it. This is the silliest thing in the whole world.

Melissa Etheridge Still Has A Crazy Ex

A photo of Melissa Etheridge and Tammy Lynn Michaels

Ok, so the last time we talked about Melissa Etheridge and her former wife, Tammy Lynn Michaels, was back in 2010, so yeah, it’s been a while. If you weren’t around then or don’t remember, here’s a real quick rundown: Melissa and Tammy broke up, and they had a really, really ugly divorce. Melissa seemed to be pretty collected about everything, but Tammy Lynn wrote a series of bizarre poems on her blog ranting about what an awful person Melissa is. We only covered one of those here, but I read tons more, and a quick peek at her blog shows that she hasn’t slowed down.

Are we all up to date now? Good, let’s check out the details of Tammy’s latest crazy fit, courtesy of TMZ:

Melissa Etheridge’s ex-GF Tammy Lynn Michaels claims she’s barely scraping by on the $23,000 a month Melissa currently pays her in partner and child support — and now, she wants a massive raise … this according to new court docs obtained by TMZ.

Tammy just filed the papers in the couple’s infamously bitter separation claiming Melissa makes roughly $177,882.00 PER MONTH … and got Tammy accustomed to an extravagant lifestyle while they were together … so the $23k is incredibly unfair.

Tammy — a former actress — also claims she has “virtually no savings” and would need “extensive retraining” if she were to rejoin the workforce.

Tammy claims Melissa is also brainwashing the kids — training them to be emotionally distant and rude to Tammy … and now they won’t even give her a hug.

Tammy also accuses Melissa of cursing around the children — including one instance … when she told Tammy to “get the f**k off my back” in front of the kids. According to Tammy, Melissa also refuses to let the kids get vaccinated.

As for the reason behind the mudslinging — Tammy and Melissa are headed into a settlement conference in May to determine support and custody issues … so it’s important for Tammy to demonstrate she’s the better mom.

On top of increased support, Tammy also wants Melissa to pay her $120,000 legal bill. Calls to Melissa were not returned.

Now, of course it’s awful if Melissa is talking negatively about Tammy to their children, and if she’s talking to her like that in front of the kids, then that’s not ok either. I think we can all agree on that, so I don’t want to discuss that part. I want to discuss the money part.

This woman can’t live on $23,000 a month, seriously? I’m sure that the cost of living here in Tennessee is much less than it is wherever Tammy lives (probably L.A.), but I could do so incredibly well on $23,000 a year. I could provide wonderfully for my boyfriend and our four pets, we could afford an adorable, roomy house easily, and there would be absolutely zero financial stress. I’m not trying to make this into a “poor me” issue at all, but listen, Tammy, shut up.

This is one of my least favorite things, when a celebrity gets with a less famous or not famous person, they break up, and then the celebrity has to pay exorbitant amounts of money because their ex got “accustomed to an extravagant lifestyle.” You can get unaccustomed real quick if you have to. No one needs the amount of extravagance that is in most celebrity’s lives, right? You can survive without manicures and tons of designer clothing and unnecessarily huge homes and flashy cars. You don’t need it. Take care of your kids, and if you want all those fancy things, then get you a job and work.

Does anyone actually understand that “extravagant lifestyle” argument, or am I right here?

Quotables: Melissa Etheridge Says “All is Fair in Love and War”

“Well, all is fair in love and war. A woman is always entitled to speak her mind, and that’s the way she speaks her mind. It’s always one person’s perspective, and one person’s perspective through hurt and fear, and anger. You’re going to get a pretty dark picture. We’re working things out, how about that? Have I jumped into dating? Suffice it to say, I am a very happy woman. Yes.”

- Melissa Etheridge responds to her ex-wife’s public complaints that she’s left her and the kids high and dry.

I kind of love that this is Melissa’s take on things, although I can see someone with this much clarity being somewhat of a manipulative psycho to deal with behind closed doors. I think that most people would probably freak out and give an equally unbalanced reaction back. Sure, her calmness freaks me out, but