It’s that time of the year again. Not Halloween, or even autumn. The time of the year I’m referring to is the three weeks leading up to Halloween in which I am bombarded by photo after photo of celebrities taking their kids to go pick out pumpkins and gourds at that motherfuckin’ Mr. Bones Pumpkin Patch. This place is like the seasonal version of The Ivy. You can get a pumpkin or a meal any place in town, but if you hit up Mr. Bones or Robertson Blvd., you’re looking to be seen. It infuriates me. Sasha and I posted about it a coupleof times last year and people told me in the comments that my bitterness will be the reason I die alone. I can live and die with that.
But Punky Brewster aka Soleil Moon Frye is a childhood hero of mine, so I’mma let this one slide. Her kids are pretty cute, too.
Soleil Moon Frye wanted to do something special for her massive-sized online audience in celebration for hitting a million Twitter followers. What you are about to witness is what she determined was the best gift she could possibly give. Clearly, she could use an Oprah-sized lesson on extravagant gift-giving. I want a car, and after watching that video I kinda feel like I deserve one. With heated seats.
The surgery-free Demi Moore, best friend to Soleil and an obsessive Twitterer, was there to “direct” this “masterpiece”, but you only hear her voice from off-camera. At first you think this is just going to be a kind of ho-hum video and then Punky goes totally fucking nuts. I’ll never get the image of Soleil Punky Frye screaming “Punky Power” at me. Just like her show, she’s super cute for the first two minutes and then you can’t wait for her screen time to be over.
Anyway, I’m sick of talking about Jon Gosselin (even though he just said in an interview that Kate verbally abused him), so today, we allow an irrelevant ’80s flash in the pan to verbally abuse us. Enjoy.
The little girl’s name is Jagger, which is a hell of a lot better than her other daughter’s name, which is Poet. Poet? Way to set the kid up to be an angsty teen. There will be some angry musings scribbled in the margins of that girl’s algebra notes, mark my words.
Soleil currently runs a baby boutique in LA called The Little Seed.