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Snoop Dogg

Snoop Dogg Tells it Like it Is, Calls Kim Kardashian a Ho

Video is pretty NSFW for language – so don’t say I didn’t warn you!

Here’s the transcript from the video, in case some of you couldn’t (or wouldn’t) watch the clip, based on what it actually is:

[Dolphin screams "Bitch!"]

Advice for Kris Humphries and her, uh, Kim Kardashian: the first advice is, you dumb ass n-gga, you shouldn’t have tried to wife the bitch, man. She’s not that type of a ho. She gets around, man, you see when Reggie [Bush] took the bitch to Africa, she was looking at the Africans ’cause they had bigger dicks than him. He didn’t know how to act afterwards, they sent his ass to Miami. Ray-J the only n-gga that bounced back from the bitch, man. She’s cold-blooded. I’m pretty sure she have a book in a month, talking about all the n-ggas she got and how she played ‘em. My advice is, look. You can’t make a ho a housewife. Don’t try to reinvent the wheel. Let her do what she was born to do. HO. Yeah. HO. Punk bitch.

[Dolphin screams "Bitch!" again]

That should pretty much sum up what Snoop Dogg here thinks of Kim Kardashian. Or rather, what the entire world probably thinks of her. The funny thing, however, is that, given the chance, Snoop would still probably hit it. With another brother’s dick, all triple-wrapped and stuff, but he’d still be all about it, more than likely. If you take all of the nasty away from Kim Kardashian and her conniving ways and her beat-up kitty cat, she’s still a pretty alluring chick, but then again, if you take all that stuff away, then she wouldn’t be Kim Kardashian – she’d be, like, Princess f-cking Jasmine or something, you know?

You Know It’s a Slow News Day When You’re Reporting That Snoop Dogg Was Arrested for Weed Possession

photo of snoop dogg smoking pot on stage pics photos pics
And if it happened, say, anywhere other thanTexas, which – ask Chace Crawford – probably has some of the strictest pot laws in the US, the attending officers would probably have just asked for a hit of that shit and took a few photos instead of arresting and citing Snoop.

TMZ claims that Snoop was busted this past weekend with approximately a half-ounce of pot, which he claims to have a prescription for, though in Texas, none of that medical marijuana stuff flies. Sources also state that if Snoop is convicted of the drug charge, he could get up to six months in jail.

This is, though, as you probably know, not the first time Snoop’s been busted for having pot illegally – he was arrested in 1998, 2001, and 2002 for pot possession. Then, again in 2007, Snoop was put on 60 months probation (that’s five years for all you non-math majors like me) after officers found pot, coke, and a firearm in his vehicle. He was released for good behavior, or whatever the f-ck you get released early for when you’re on probation, back in May of 2011.

Ironically enough, Snoop’s bus was stopped at almost the same place where Willie Nelson was busted for weed back in 2010. My guess is that border patrol had the heads-up that Snoop would be rolling through and had planned ahead of time on stopping his bus ’cause they figured it’d be a sure bet.

How do you guys feel about all this – cut Snoop a break or let the law lay ‘em down low?

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Snoop Dogg Wants to Start A Rap Version of Idol

A photo of Snoop Dogg

I support Snoop Dogg in everything he does, and so should you. This is a man with many a dream, and I hope he achieves every single one.  You might say that that’s because I would love to live in a world where you could marijuana easier than you can buy Girl Scout cookies, and that’s fair, but it’s also because I believe in people, and I especially believe in people who want to bring me a mass amount of solid entertainment.

Here’s the story from the New York Post:

Snoop Dogg wants to launch rap’s answer to “American Idol.” The rapper has been pitching a TV series to discover the next hot hip-hop act. We hear that Oxygen, Bravo and NBC aren’t biting but that E! and MTV have shown interest. Sources say Snoop is touting that the show could be as popular as Fox’s “American Idol,” but TV execs are not convinced.

The story goes on to say that Snoop wants Jay-Z involved, but Jay-Z’s people are like “no, no, stop talking about it.”  Meanwhile, Wiz Khalifa is like “hey, I can do it though, let me help.”  Oh, please, whoever is in charge of shitty music competition shows, just give this one a pass.  Just for a moment, then it can die a serene, dignified death.

Would you guys watch a rap version of American Idol?