Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Shia LeBeouf

2012 in Review: The Year’s Most Bankable Thespians

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1. Natalie Portman: Returns $42.70 for every $1 paid.

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2. Kristen Stewart: Returns $40.60 for every $1 paid.

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3. Shia LaBeouf: Returns $35.80 for every $1 paid.

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4. Robert Pattinson: Returns $31.70 for every $1 paid.

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5. Daniel Radcliffe: Returns $30.50 for every $1 paid.

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6. Taylor Lautner: Returns $29.50 for every $1 paid.

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7. Bradley Cooper: Returns $25.00 for every $1 paid.

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8. Dwayne Johnson: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.

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9. Amy Adams: Returns $22.60 for every $1 paid.

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10. Kevin James: Returns $22.70 for every $1 paid.

[Source: Forbes]

Wait, Shia LaBeouf is a Jerk?

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From Page Six:

Shia LaBeouf was escorted out of the LA opening of The Box nightclub by security Friday night after a confrontation with a pal of shock rocker Marilyn Manson. The “Transformers” star “exchanged terse words with a friend of Manson’s, who lunged over the table at Shia, and Shia lunged back. Security stepped in quickly and broke it up before any punches were thrown,” a source at the party hosted by Belvedere Red told us, adding, “Two security guards led Shia out holding his hands behind his head. His girlfriend, Karolyn Pho, was clearly upset and ran down the stairs after them. Outside, he fell onto a barricade. Swearing, he picked himself up and ran off.” Despite numerous witnesses at the party, also attended by Jon Hamm, Lindsay Lohan and Chelsea Handler, Shia’s rep said: “[He] actually left the club early as planned … he went to see one of the bands performing in the showcase and left after they finished … exiting through a crowded room was apparently misinterpreted. No altercation occurred.”

We’re supposed to be surprised that Shia lunged at some Marilyn Manson cronie and then fell into a barricade? Why is this even news? Isn’t this, like, what he does (aside from sleeping with gorgeous women, which is a total head-scratcher in itself, and then blabbing about it)?

Of Course Wall Street 2 is Going to Suck

The trailer for Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2 was released today. I’m not posting this because anyone ever thought a sequel to Wall Street in 2010 even had a chance of being good, but because I can’t believe how unbelievably shitty this movie looks. It’s so infinitely worse than anything I could have suspected that I’m shocked. Michael Douglas is old. Shia LeBeouf is a cocky little hamface. The music sounds like it came from a CD of pre-liscened “tension” music. The message feels irrelevant, but not in an escapist way like with Oceans 11 or Boiler Room or any other modern movie about good-looking men in suits doing bad things for money. I’m going to do myself the favor of not seeing this so I can still enjoy the original.

Quite Possibly The Most Terrifying Quotable Ever

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“Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She’s an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.”

Shia LaBeouf sharing his secret and stomach-turning desire to bone his mother, in the Playboy article that Kelly wrote about over the weekend.

Shia LeBeouf Is In High Demand

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At least with the folks at the Burbank courthouse.

Shia was busted for smoking illegally outside some stupid gift shop in Burbank. His arraignment was today at 8 am, but Shia was a no-show. His lawyer didn’t show up either.

The judge issued a $1000 bench warrant for his arrest. His current whereabouts are unknown, but I’m sure that, wherever he is, he’s laughing his ass off about this, like he probably was with the ticket earlier.

Like, seriously, smoking is bad, kids, but I think it’s total bullshit that people aren’t allowed to smoke on the fucking streets anymore. I understand banning it from restaurants, or even from bars, but on the street? Like I love how every time I’m walking down the Santa Monica Promenade smoking a cigarette some kind pedestrian stops to remind me that you’re not allowed to smoke on the Promenade. And I’m always like “Oh, yes, I’ll take that under serious consideration” as I puff away. If anyone ever tried to ticket my ass for smoking on the Promenade I think I’d be like “Take this ticket and shove it,” much like Shia did. Fuck, dude, I don’t even pay my speeding tickets; you think I have time to deal with smoking tickets?

No hard feelings about this one, buddy.