Question: is there a difference between doing a straight up porno, something with a ridiculous title like Moulin Splooge or H.R. Muff N’ Stuff or My Brown Eye, Not the Winker, The Stinker with established porn stars and the whole deal, and doing a more “legitimate” movie with a well-known director where Hollywood actors actually have sex on film? I’m just wondering, because Shia LaBeouf is doing one of those things, and it sounds a little shady to me.
See, Shia is doing a filmed called Nymphomania with controversial director Lars von Trier. The movie also stars Nicole Kidman, Stellan Skarsgård, and Willem Dafoe. And they’re going to have sex.
The “Melancholia” director’s next film is said to follow a woman throughout her sexual life. What gives “Nymphomaniac” that signature von Trier spin of controversy is that the Danish director plans to make two versions of his film, one less explicit than the other. Early talk even suggested that the hard-core version would include unsimulated sex scenes.
LaBeouf joining the cast seemed to imply that he too would participate in the explicit scenes, and he confirmed that he is willing to go as far as von Trier asks.
LaBeouf told MTV News that he knows what he’s getting into with “Nymphomaniac.” “[Von Trier] is very dangerous,” he said. “He’s the most dangerous dude that I’ve ever showed up for. I’m terrified. I’m so terrified, which is why I have to go. We’ll see what happens.”
But how far will LaBeouf and von Trier go with “Nymphomaniac”? “[The movie] is what you think it is,” LaBeouf said. “It is Lars von Trier, making a movie about what he’s making. For instance, there’s a disclaimer at the top of the script that basically says we’re doing it for real. Everything that is illegal, we’ll shoot in blurred images. Other than that, everything is happening.”
“Nymphomaniac” won’t be the first movie to show actual sex onscreen. “Intimacy” from director Patrice Chéreau famously went there in 2001, but LaBeouf said von Trier’s movie will be different, adding that he and the rest of the cast are prepared for anything. “Whatever is asked. I think we all are,” he said. “I’ve seen ‘Intimacy.’ [Von Trier is] talking about something different. … It’s going to be a wild movie.”
Yeah, this grosses me out. There’s a way to be an edgy actor without, you know, actually having sex on camera. And if you want to have sex on camera, knock yourself out, but don’t play like you’re this big dedicated genius of an actor just because you do a literal sex scene.
Also, is the world really ready to see Shia LaBeouf’s penis again?