Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Sheryl Crow

Best And Worst Celebrity Looks Of The Week!

Lady Gaga and Donatella Versace: it's like a "before and after" shot.

Lady Gaga and Donatella Versace: it’s like a “before and after” shot.

WELCOME BACK TO Best and Worst Celebrity Looks of the Week!! What a week for fashion! Check out our Oscars fashion post and last week’s best and worst celeb looks. Now let’s take a look at what celebs wore at Oscar parties, LAX, film premieres, and other outings, and judge them accordingly: pick 3 celebs for BEST, WORST, and WTF look of the week. As always, mine are at the bottom.

Have fun!

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Sheryl Crow Has a Brain Tumor

photo of sheryl crow brain tumor pictures
From the Las Vegas Review Journal:

“I worried about my memory so much that I went and got an MRI. And I found out I have a brain tumor. And I was, like, ‘See? I knew there was something wrong.’?”

I didn’t know whether Sheryl was joking or not because we had just been laughing about how she recently forgot some lyrics on stage. But she wasn’t kidding.

“I haven’t really talked about it,” she said. “In November, I found out I have a brain tumor. But it’s benign, so I don’t have to worry about it. But it gives me a fit.”

A month ago, Sheryl forgot part of “Soak Up the Sun” on stage in Florida. She told fans, “I’m 50, what can I say? My brain’s gone to (expletive).”

“Oh gosh,” she told me. “I will tell you a funny story. I have a history of forgetting my lyrics.”

At the Hard Rock Hotel in the 1990s, she forgot the intro to “A Change Would Do You Good.”

“Not only could I not remember the first line, I couldn’t remember the first line to any of the verses,” Sheryl said.

“I started laughing so hard! And I looked over at my guitar player, and he’s bent over like he’s gonna just start peeing.”

Wow. So, a brain tumor, huh? That’s … well, that sucks. I mean, yeah, it’s not cancerous or anything, but still. It can push on things and create not-so-good things to occur, right? My mom had a cancerous brain tumor a while back (she’s been in remission a little over ten years, now, I believe), and for the first few months that she had it, there were no signs. Then she started passing out everywhere and couldn’t figure out why. It wasn’t even like she blacked out or fainted or anything, she’d just fall asleep. Literally anywhere. Grocery stores, gas stations. It didn’t matter. If she sat still for five or ten minutes, she’d go out. We’d joke that she had narcolepsy or something but it was no joke when we found out that she had a brain tumor the size of your average doorknob pressing up against her occipital lobe.

She’s totally OK now, all credit due to good medical care, but yikes. What a scary thing to endure. I’m sure Sheryl wasn’t nearly as cool about it as she comes off, but I’m real glad that she’s going to be alright.


photo of rocker kid rock and sheryl crow together

“Will you just have my baby, and let’s just get it over?”

–Kid Rock to Sheryl Crow at this year’s CMT Music Awards.

Girl. Kid Rock is, by far, one of music’s hottest manly-man guys out there. He’s hot in that “I’m repulsed by my attraction to you and that makes it all the more hotter” kind of way, and if you had any inkling about what great sex is, you’d better take him up on his offer.

‘Cause, you know, unless he’s gonna be a sperm donor (which would be a waste of such hot, hot fornication), you’ve got to do the do with him.

One could only imagine that sex with Kid Rock would have to be a mind-blowing, spirit-altering experience.

Am I right or am I right?

Jennifer Aniston Celebrates Her 41st Birthday in Mexico

If you’re looking for something uplifting or inspiring, you’d best go read something else: you’ll find naught but bitterness here.

Bitterness because the fact that Jennifer Aniston is turning 41 makes me feel really, really old.

Bitterness because, at 41, she’s more attractive than my saggy 28 year old ass will ever be.

Bitterness because while I’m stuck here huddling under a blanket in the grips of  Snowtorious B.I.G. 2010 with nothing but my flaky, white, winter-ravaged skin to keep me company, her tan ass is prancing around in a bikini in fucking Cabo with Gerard Butler, Courtney Cox, and Sheryl Crow.

Can you taste that?

It’s the acrid taint of deep, bitter jealousy. Crack me a beer and pass the buffalo chicken dip– I’ve only got 14 hours (of Superbowl pregame shows) to get this taste out of my mouth.

Despite The Fact That No One Cares, Lance Armstrong Shares Reason For Split With Sheryl Crow


Oh, Lance Armstrong.  If he wasn’t busy with his knocked-up girlfriend, I’d so be trying to fix him up with Jennifer Aniston.  Why?  Because his biography, the imaginatively titled “Lance”, is coming out this summer and he talks about his break up with Sheryl Crow.  I know, I know-haven’t we all just been haunted, wondering “why?” ever since their split three years ago?  Anyway, I was thinking Lance and Jen would be the perfect couple.  They could get together and lament about Brad and Sheryl and we could all try to determine which of the four of them is the most tan.

As I’m pretty sure I said last December, Lance and Sheryl broke up in 2006 because they were in different places in their lives.  “Different places” is always code for “I don’t want kids,” or “I’m gay.”  She moved on and adopted a baby boy and he got his girlfriend pregnant because he thought his spermies were all dead soldiers.

In conclusion, this is what happens to you when there is a slow news day.  I talk about long-ended relationships that no one ever cared about even when they existed.  I will now go troll the wire looking for news on celebrity deaths, divorces and melees so we never have to suffer through another story like this again.  Wish me luck!

What a Cutie!!!

Here’s a rare shot of Sheryl Crow with her son, little Wyatt Crow.

OMG this kid is ADORABLE.

I need a baby NOW. There is only so long I can dress up Leo in varying outfits — he has a football jersey now that says “Quarterbark,” ha ha, GET IT??? So, put the word out, I am on the hunt for a baby. Preferably one who speaks perfect French. And also I am looking for at least two or three nannies for whenever the baby is doing something that is not cute.

Yoplait’s Save Lids to Save Lives 10th Anniversary

The Yoplait Save Lids to Save Lives campaign donates ten cents to Susan G. Komen for the Cure© for each pink foil Yoplait container lid that is mailed to them.  It’s a great cause and an easy way to contribute.  Who doesn’t eat yogurt anyway?  Well I don’t but I’m no poster child for normalcy.  And come to think of it, can you imagine if your job was to open all those incoming envelopes of lids?  Gross!  Because you know people lick those lids, put them in an envelope and mail ‘em out all in the name of cancer research.  And I cannot deal with unknown DNA.  It’s what killed my career in porn.  Sorry…so…last night was the 10th Anniversary celebration of this program and lots of stars turned out. 

I was a bit alarmed when I saw the pictures of Cynthia Nixon.  Was she always this thin?  She looks like she could stand to eat a Yoplait to help save her life.  I’m dramatizing but she is thin.  Also, I feel, as a public service announcement, I need to tell Sheryl Crow that there comes a time in every woman’s life when she must start wearing a bra.  For me, it was at twelve.  For you Sheryl, today is your day.

 Other celebs who arrived for this worthwhile cause include Kristin Davis, David Arquette, Laura Dern, Rita Wilson, Kelly Lynch, Rosanna Arquette and Kelly Kapowski Samantha Harris.  And please, a moment of silence for Judy Tenuta’s face as we used to know it.  I always thought she was so beautiful.