Oh, no, sorry, this one‘s 20 years old. My bad. But really, the only one I don’t confuse in the Willis/Moore daughtership is Rumer, because she looks way different than the other two. It’s Talullah and Scout that I mix up, and this is Scout. (Talullah is the underage one, the one that’s going to go buckwild at any second.) I’m wondering if this is retaliation for Ashton Kutcher effing up their tight little singing duo family unit.

In any case, I’m not a fan of the look. She reminds me of this hot mess of a girl that I used to be in a cover band with. Without fail, the chick’d get wasted at every show, and end up doing something really stupid and embarrassing like tripping over the floor monitors and eating floor in front of the club-goers. Or, like that one time, pass out so hard in the bathroom that her dumb ass had to be dragged out into the parking lot for air, only to find out she wasn’t breathing. Let me tell you, I just love mouth-to-mouth on the ground outside of a dirty bar in the middle of frozen January. On a questionable girl. CIVIC DUTIES, folks.

My first reaction? PLEASANTLY SURPRISED. This could totally be a radio hit except for the verse with all of that coffee-themed weirdness (come on, ‘mocha latte’ just does not a good rhyme make). What do you guys think? Cute? Campy? Fucking stupid? Your call, as always.

At a rowdy 18 year old’s birthday party, you might expect the restaurant or the ladies bathroom to get trashed, but not the birthday girl’s 15 year old sister.

The Moore – Kutcher – Willis clan got together this past Friday night to celebrate Scout Willis’ 18th birthday with a 20′s flapper-style bash at L.A. restaurant Cicada. Guests included Dita Von Teese, Marisa Tomei, and Rumer Willis, doing her best to let everyone know exactly what kind of underwear she was wearing.

But the real star of the night was the youngest Willis girl, Tallulah Belle, who spent the night smoking, drinking, and hitting on older men. She reportedly ended the night by stumbling out of the restaurant with a pack of cigarettes and a pack of her friends, who attempted to keep her upright on her walk of shame to a waiting vehicle. Step dad of the year, Ashton Kutcher, looked none to happy about it either.

Now, to be honest, the drink the paps have circled in the above picture looks like nothing more than ice water– which may be damning enough evidence in itself, since no one drinks ice water at a party unless they’ve already gone overboard with the alcohol. If you’re going strictly non-alcoholic, you’ll have either soda, or juice, or a Redbull in your glass.

She’s also shoeless– another likely sign of inebriation– and in the pictures of her leaving the restaurant, she is quite clearly carrying a pack of cigarettes.

We get more of Rumer than we can take, and a decent dose of Tallulah, but it’s ever so rare that we see middle daughter Scout Willis photographed with her mom, Demi Moore. Scout’s almost 18 now, and she accompanied her mother (and their two hottie bodyguards!) for a walk around Nice.

I’m sorry, but these Willis girls are just proof that when beautiful people mate, the offspring are not always all that beautiful. Unless those two people are Brad and Angelina. In which case the babies are guaranteed to be beautiful. Really all babies anywhere just need to be touched by Angelina and they’re guaranteed to be beautiful. Demi Moore? Not so much. I have these internal debates as to whether it was Demi’s genetics or Bruce’s that caused all the facial problems with these girls. Seriously I dedicate minutes of my life to pondering this. That’s just how unexciting my sex life is.

But it would have to be Bruce, right?

Thoughts?