Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Sarah Silverman

Sarah Silverman Hooks Up With a Unicorn, Gets Burned

So when I was a lot younger, I had this obsession with Aerosmith, specifically the song ‘Angel,’ so this video? It totally SPEAKS to me. It makes me want to curl up on a twin-sized bed to reminisce about the boys I used to swoon over in middle school. This song would, of course, be playing in the background, and then I’d jam out with my girlfriends of yesteryear in a bedroom filled with blacklight posters, lava lamps, and beanbag chairs (no I didn’t grow up in the seventies, I was just always that. cool).

I know this unicorn really kind of seems like a heartbreaker, but I’d still rather take my chances with the unicorn over Sarah Silverman and her grimy hooves any day.

Stills From Take This Waltz

So, Michelle Williams has been blowing it up big time over the past few years, just churning movies out like butter, and the buck did not stop with Blue Valentine. Her latest project? A movie called Take This Waltz, which, according to IMDB (’cause I hadn’t heard of it ’til I saw the behind-the-scenes stills) is supposed to be a “funny, bittersweet and heart-wrenching story about a woman struggling to choose between two different types of love.”

I love independent films, and moreover, I’ve been a big fan of ‘major’ celebrities like Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling (Lars and the Real Girl? Awesome.) doing a lot of underground movies over the past few years. It’s bringing cinema back as an art, not just as, “Hey, let’s bring Jennifer Aniston or Cameron Diaz into some random movie plot and make it a zany romantic comedy, OK, but a different zany romantic comedy, not the same old-same old that we’ve seen sixty-five-thousand times already.” Oh, wait. Dammit.

Yeah, and in case you couldn’t tell from the photos, Sarah Silverman’s in the movie, too. And Seth Rogen, though he’s actually not pictured. But I could really give a crap less about either of them, anyway.

Sarah Silverman’s Show Has Been Canned

And quite frankly, I can’t believe that it’s stayed on the air even this long.

The Sarah Silverman Program is in its third season and execs state that this season will be the show’s last … and you know there was no avoiding the chopping block, in spite of the campaign that was waged on Twitter to save the show from imminent cancellation. These newfangled networking sites can do a lot — like bring Betty White to SNL — but can’t entirely save something that’s shit to begin with. Sorry, Sarah. Your ticket’s up.

Unfortunately for Sarah Silverman haters (like myself), she’s not going away anytime soon. She currently has a few projects up her sleeve including the promotion of her new book, which was released last month, and other D-list stuff.

I fully expect her to slink off into obscurity within the next few months or so. Weeks, if we’re lucky.

Oh, Yo. Sarah Silverman Just Gave My Brain The Biggest Boner

Sarah Silverman did a little interview with MTV this weekend and when they asked her about her opinion on marriage in a country where gay marriage doesn’t exists, Sarah went from funny to serious in a millisecond. What she had to say is transcribed here, although I would take a moment to watch her say it yourself if you can:

“Not only would I not get married, it actually actively bums me out that anyone who is for equal rights would get married right now. There’s nothing different between that and joining a country club that doesn’t allow blacks or Jews back then. Who needs to get married that bad that they’ll be a part of a club like that? This is embarrassing. It’s embarrassing.”

I know we talk about this issue a lot over here and well, everywhere, but when it’s said as plainly as this, you cannot hear it enough. We’re living in a country that’s treating homosexuals in the same abhorable way that blacks and Jews and Irish and whomever we decided we hated for a period in time were treated. That’s so fucked up. Something has to change because, like the reporter starts to say in the video, in 50 years we will all look back and be so ashamed that we lived in a country where this kind of exclusion and hatred was going on.

Five Reasons Why Sarah Silverman’s New Boyf is Hot

Sarah Silverman is dating some producer bro named Alec Sulkin and he’s a babe. Here are five reasons why:

  1. He kind of looks like a more attractive version of Noel Gallagher.
  2. He’s wearing a Patriots sweatshirt.
  3. He looks like he’s great at swearing.
  4. He has the eyes of a serial killer.
  5. He seems to make her genuinely happy.

So yeah, I’d do him.

Wouldn’t You Try Harder For Something Called ‘The Critic’s Choice Awards’?

Aight, aight. So I always have to admit whenever I critique people’s fashion that I really have no business doing so. I am wearing flared jeans as I write this. Yes, flared. They’re old and they’re really comfortable and you would wear them too if you didn’t have a will to live. ANYWAY! That being said, I was pretty disappointed across the board by the dress selections last night at The Critic’s Choice Awards. With the exception of a couple (Heather Graham, Emily Blunt, Amy Poehler), everyone looked like they bought their dress of the rack at Nordstrom in the really fancy section last minute. Lots of ill-fitting garments, lots of things that looked like last season’s trends or generally unstylish (from the dress to the shoes, I beg you to tell me: What the fuck is Sandy B. wearing in the photo above? Are those hooves?) Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh, or maybe I should consider that the Golden Globes are on Sunday and everyone’s saving their pretty for that, but you let me know what you think in the comments…

What Do We Think of This Person?

Hey, do we like Sarah Silverman? I like her public image, definitely. I always really sided with her after the Jimmy Kimmel break up (remember this baller move from her Emmy acceptance speech?), but I haven’t checked out her Comedy Central show in a long time or seen her do stand up. I think the closest thing to her work that I’ve seen her do recently was this video, and I wasn’t too crazy about that. So where do we stand on Sarah now? I need to hear your opinions to help me make up my mind.