Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Salma Hayek

Salma Hayek Talks Forever

A photo of Salma Hayek

I’m the sort of person who appreciates silence. When I’m in a group of people, I only speak if I think I have something important to contribute or something funny to say, and it usually takes me a while to feel comfortable enough to have a legitimate conversation with somebody. I’m definitely that awkward girl who looks kind of like a bitch and giggles weirdly at inappropriate times and fidgets constantly.

Salma Hayek, however, is not that girl. She’s the kind of girl who will talk about whatever, wherever, whenever, and for as long as she feels like. You can tell by reading this interview she just did with Lucky magazine:

On living in France: “It’s Paris,” she says. “Everywhere you turn, every corner, every flower, every street lamp—someone has looked, and taken a breath, and used their imagination to make something beautiful.”

More on Paris and also her hair: “It’s nuts, how good the people look, too,” she continues. “Nobody’s overweight, everybody’s well dressed, no tennis shoes—somehow, even though they walk all over the place, everyone manages to wear real shoes, nice shoes.” She points at her chic, low ponytail. “This is very Parisian. My husband, it’s funny, but he hates it when I have this Parisian hair! He loves my crazy-maniac-madwoman just-got-out-of-the-shower hair. He is like the lawyer for my thick, wild, natural hair. He’s like, ‘Why make it suffer?’ But you know for 45 years I’ve got this big hair, and these big boobs, and I’m this tiny person and sometimes—you just want to be … smaller.” She flips the ponytail, flashes her kohl-lined lashes. “He’s probably right—my mom always said, ‘You think you know better than God?’ ”

On acne causing depression: “My skin?! When I was 25 and I left being a soap opera star in Mexico to go try to be a movie star in Hollywood and all of Mexico was laughing at me? And I could barely get work as an extra? You want to talk about bad skin? I had acne. And this acne was so bad, it sent me into a severe, severe depression. Like I couldn’t leave the house. I’d wake up in the morning and lie there and touch my face before I got up, just to prepare myself to look in the mirror! The next stage with that sort of depression is food: too little, or too much. Guess what I did? I mean, I was fat and broken out, I couldn’t leave the house and I couldn’t pay the rent!”

On her skin care line: “Somewhere my grandmother is smiling. She believed in gentle things, so my serum has royal jelly, my cream has lavender. I’m especially proud of tepezcohuite, which they treat burn victims with in Mexico—I brought it to the chemists, who’d never seen it; that’s when you know you’ve got something new.”

On Botox and wrinkles: “Botox, trust me I’ve been tempted—but I resist! Think about what happens to your muscles—and your skin—if you’re sick and don’t move for a few days. It all atrophies! Plus, if you freeze a muscle in your face, other muscles have to compensate! And once you stop, what does that look like?” Before I can issue a rebuttal she offers another theory: “You know Latin people? African-American people? How our skin ages more slowly? Even though we’re dramatic, we move our faces, we eat higher-fat foods, we’re the ones with fewer wrinkles—it makes you wonder.”

On eating and Demi Moore: “I like to eat,” she sighs. “I’m always on the edge of how much can I eat without looking too—you know. If I eat something salty, it makes me want something sweet. I eat something sweet, then I want salty. And exercise is not my thing, though I do it. “Not like Demi [Moore, her close friend]. She’s so disciplined, I wish I could be like that.” She looks at me; Moore has been reported to be in rehab. “You watch,” she says. “Demi will be back. She’s an inspiration to all women.”

Her husband has issues with American fashion: “He’s so funny—we were in line at the airport somewhere in the States with these four girls in front of us, and he asks me sincerely: ‘This American style, with the sweatpants and flip-flops … ?’ And the feminist is coming out in me and I’m like, ‘They’re comfortable! Is it such a sin to want to be comfortable?!’ But he says, ‘If they want to be so comfortable, why do they have so much makeup on at 7 am?’ And he has a point: People spend all this time with makeup and then not with clothes. Why? I mean, don’t think I don’t love the Juicy Couture—I do.”

Doesn’t it sound like she’s incapable of not rambling? I love her.

Love It or Leave It: You Can Totally See Salma Hayek’s Boobs!

A photo of Salma Hayek

Oh, Salma, of course we would love to see your boobs. Of course we would. But not like this. This feels cheap, Salma, this feels tawdry and wrong and not at all how I imagined it. The lighting is all wrong, for one, and you know I don’t like it when you wear your hair like that. No, Salma, this just won’t do. Shame on you. Shame, shame, shame.

Check Out Salma’s Funny Little Lady

Salma's Sweetie

Well, just thought I’d take a moment out of my busy Precious Moments doll collecting, musical watching and sweatshirt puffy painting schedule to blabber on about another famous person’s child. Certainly you can’t think that all the time I spend choosing to write about how cute I think other people’s kids are has anything to do with the rapid speed of my biological clock and lack of things I truly care about! Surely that cannot be the case! Ahem. However, there is something quite special about seeing a tiny half-Salma Hayek running around town with her mommy looking all grown up compared to the little bundle she used to be. Yes, Valentina Paloma Pinault may just be one of my favorite celebrity kidlets, and her expressive toddler face sealed the deal in these photos snapped while the two went shopping in Beverly Hills Saturday morning. Check out the gallery below which includes many adorable facial expressions from the rubber-faced Valentina.