Russell Brand wants to get married again. I didn’t take sides in the Katy Perry/Russell Brand split, but after hearing that he asked for a divorce via text, I’m team Katy. But if that doesn’t bother you and you’d like to be the new Mrs. Russell Brand, here’s what he’s looking for. From The Mirror:
I would like to marry again and have a family. I am looking for my future wife. I hope she’s kind and sweet and sexually adventurous. I don’t ask for much, do I?
He’s apparently dating some chick named Alessandra Balazs who is 23 and is Chelsea Handler’s stepdaughter. Here is what she looks like:
She really puts the “girl” in “girlfriend.”
In case you were curious, Russell Brand is 38.
June 23, 2013 at 10:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Russell Brand has decided to cancel an upcoming stand-up show to the Middle East, I guess over “safety concerns”. What concerns exist now that didn’t when he first booked the thing is beyond me, but whatever. He was planning to head to Lebanon and Abu Dhabi in August, which is sort of hilarious because I can’t see his humour translating to their audience – especially since much of it doesn’t even translate in the Western world.
From BBC Radio 5:
“Those gigs have been banned, pulled because of threats from extremists that if I went there, there would be problems.
“The venue contacted us and said we can no longer guarantee your safety.”
June 21, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer
Oh, Russell Brand. He’s a generally decent guy with a rampant sex addiction and a strange sense of humour, and you’d got to admire his forthright-ness about some of the shit he’s done in the past. His latest “revelation” is that he tried getting with Mila Kunis back in the day, only to get knocked back when she told him she was dating Macaulay Culkin. Oh, snap!
From The Mirror:
He was married to one ofthe world’s hottest women and previously bragged about having sex with more than a dozen birds in one night.
But Russell Brand still regrets missing out on adding another notch to his severely splintered bed post.
The edgy comedian was filming with Mila Kunis when he tried to charm the gorgeous actress only to discover she was already dating someone.
And the serial shagger – who debuted his new stand-up Messiah Complex world tour in London last night – was stunned when he found out the Hollywood stunner was seeing “the lad from Home Alone”.
He gushed about Mila: “She’s so gorgeous, just so gorgeous and I was chatting her up and got the conversation around to have you got a boyfriend, and then you know that feeling of how long do I have to entertain a conversation?
“Then I go away and she keeps talking about her boyfriend Mac, this is when I was on Sarah Marshall. Eventually she said he’s coming tomorrow and there was some sort of fanfare, she was so excited.
“Then when he came it wasn’t Mac – it was Macaulay Culkin. He’d got longer and looked pale and scared of himself, like a shaved horse.
“There was a horror about him and I thought, ‘you can’t f**k him – that’s the lad from Home Alone’.”
LOL to that. Just goes to show you, Russell, looks aren’t everything! Not that he’s the world’s handsomest guy or anything, but I’d venture to say he has slightly more sex appeal than Kevin McAllister. Also, good for Mila for not being pulled in by him. That would have been a DISASTER.
June 20, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer
Katy Perry has her first Vogue cover shoot and with it, a lengthy interview about all things Perry. And all things Perry include her 14 month marriage to David Lynch BFF, Russell Brand. Both she and Mr. Brand have discussed their marriage before. But in this interview, Ms. Perry gets a little…ominous. Gotta bring out your A-list material for Vogue, right?
He’s a very smart man, and I was in love with him when I married him. Let’s just say I haven’t heard from him since he texted me saying he was divorcing me December 31, 2011.
Ominous statement. Also, who the f-ck asks for a divorce via text? Dante’s gonna open up a whole new circle for people who ask for divorce via text.
There were signs of disrespect on Mr. Brand’s part for his wife and for their marriage. For example, Ms. Perry recalls a particular incident:
[He was] hysterical in some ways. Until he started making jokes about me and he didn’t know I was in the audience, because I had come to surprise him at one of his shows. So. Hysterical to a point. I mean, I have to claim my own responsibility in things. I do admit that I was on the road a lot. Although I invited him time and time again, and I tried to come home as much as I possibly could. You saw that in the movie.
Ms. Perry hints that the reason for their divorce may be a lot deeper, and possibly darker, than what we think it is. She reveals,
At first when I met him he wanted an equal, and I think a lot of times strong men do want an equal, but then they get that equal and they’re like, I can’t handle the equalness. He didn’t like the atmosphere of me being the boss on tour. So that was really hurtful, and it was very controlling, which was upsetting. I felt a lot of responsibility for it ending, but then I found out the real truth, which I can’t necessarily disclose because I keep it locked in my safe for a rainy day.
I let go and I was like: This isn’t because of me; this is beyond me. So I have moved on from that.
Wow. What could she mean by “the real truth”? It must be a real big one or she wouldn’t protect him. And whatever the secret is, she made it clear that it doesn’t have anything to do with her. It’s his issue. We’ve heard rumors that Brand cheated on her, but it sounds like this is more than that. It sounds Russell Brand relapsed into his sex addiction. He wrote a book that detailed his addiction to sex. This isn’t like “hardee har har he bangs lots of women it’s what he does”. It was a serious, dark problem that could have destroyed his career. He explains his addiction in My Booky Wook, via The Guardian:
Many people are sceptical about the idea of what I like to call “sexy addiction”, thinking it a spurious notion, invented primarily to help Hollywood film stars evade responsibility for their priapic excesses. But I reckon there is such a thing. Addiction, by definition, is a compulsive behaviour that you cannot control or relinquish, in spite of its destructive consequences. And if my life proves nothing else, it demonstrates that this formula can be applied to sex just as easily as it can be to drugs or alcohol, both of which I know more than a bit about.
He stayed at the KeyStone clinic to treat his “sexy addiction”.
It’s hard to get an exact number on how many addicts relapse. Given what we’ve seen happen though in the Entertainment Industry, we’ve seen certain people relapse quite a bit. So I wouldn’t be surprised if Brand’s (alleged) cheating was more than that; I wouldn’t be surprised if he relapsed and his addiction to sex is what ended their marriage.
But this is purely speculation on my part.
Check out the rest of her Vogue spread, plus the cover.
June 18, 2013 at 4:43 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Alright already, we get it: Russell Brand loves sex and he’s (by his own description) quite good at it. He loves it so much that he prefers having it with many different women rather than being married to one – and if his story about having nine orgasms in one night is actually true, I suppose we have to try and understand his logic.
From Huffington Post Live:
“Once in Dublin, [I had] nine. And it wasn’t even in a day, it was an evening. It was crazy there. What a mental night it was. I felt exhausted the next day.
“After I came off drugs, I had a lot of energy that needed to go somewhere, and I thought… that way. I think that if you’re having sex with someone, and you’re a man, that person’s got to have an orgasm first, haven’t they? Otherwise you’ve not done your job as a man… You’ve got to make sure that everyone is happy.
“I probably in the past have been guilty of thinking about sex too much, but, God, when you see a beautiful woman, doesn’t it disrupt everything? It disrupts everything! I can’t focus!”
Well, I suppose kudos to Russell for placing importance on the lady’s satisfaction – what a stand-up guy! I do think it’s hilarious how absolutely ruled by sex he seems to be (as many man do – uh oh, feminazi on the loose! LOL), but then, that’s just biology, I suppose.
You can watch Russell’s full interview below:
June 14, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer
Russell Brand spent 99% of his famous life as a notorious womanizer, but all bets were off when he met and fell in love with Katy Perry. Suddenly, the monogamous married life seemed as if it was calling his name and he exchanged some vows… only to get divorced a little over a year later. There’s been lots of talk about exactly what went wrong there, as Russell and Katy were just crazy enough of a couple to work. Turns out, a lot of the problem was just that Russell really, really likes having sex with the myriad of “options” in front of him. Oh, brother.
“I’ve given over too much of my life to [the pursuit of sex]. And I’ve probably harmed other people, by being selfish. And really, I’d like to be married. I’m just not transmitting that frequency of ‘Soulmate! Soulmate!’ I’m transmitting the frequency of ‘Mmm!’
Of course he’s tried marriage already. So what did happen with Katy Perry?
“When I’m in a relationship I’m diligently monogamous and stick to the principles agreed on within that relationship. You’ve got to, I think.”
He added: “But it’s going to be hard if I go into a monogamous relationship. I live a life where I have a lot of freedom, so if I meet someone and I go, ‘Right let’s be monogamous’, that’s a fucking change.
But I tried it and I loved it. I really think she’s a lovely beautiful person [Katy Perry]. It’s just hard isn’t it? She’s got a lot of options, I’ve got a lot of options, so you’ve got to really, really want it.”
“Some of it’s the fame, but I think getting married is… you’ve got a whole other person that you’ve got to make as important as you!”
Yes, that’s generally what a relationship is, Russell – you realise that the world doesn’t revolve around you. Lord almighty. It’s tough because I dig Russell as a dude and think he’s done a lot of great things, philanthropically speaking. When it comes to relationships though, y’all know Katy P is my girl and I can’t be having his fuckery. When she broke down crying in Part of Me? STOP. I can’t. No one’s here trying to police anyone from living their best life. If having lots of random hook-ups is your thing (that goes for a man OR woman), do it up. But hopefully you’d realise that’s your preferred lifestyle BEFORE you marry someone who plans on being with you for the rest of his/her life.
Anyhow, what do you think – was their marriage doomed from the beginning because you knew Russell wouldn’t be able to keep it in his pants?