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Russell Brand

1Russell Brand Jokes About His Sex Life With Katy Perry

russell brand katy perry MTV Europe Awards 2010

Russell Brand is getting lots of material out of his marriage to Katy Perry. On his new comedy tour, he’s got some real zingers in there. You know, the whole “monogamy is so hard” bit. From Daily News:

…the funny-man joked that after his divorce he considered becoming a monk. ”When you’re a monk, you’re not allowed to have sex with anyone,” Brand reportedly said. “When you’re married, it’s one person. That’s one more than a monk. It’s not that different.”

To the 38-year-old comedian being married to one person is apparently no different than being celibate. He went on to quip that he would often have to fantasize about other women.

“I’d be having sex thinking, ‘think of anyone, anyone else.’”

Yikes! Guess he’s still “devastated” by Perry’s comments.

The monk comment was pretty funny. That second part was just hurtful. If this is bumming you out too much, skip on over to our Russell Brand appreciation post.

August 5, 2013 at 6:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

0RUSSELL BRAND APPRECIATION POST

russell brand goes to yoga class

Russell Brand went to yoga today, as he does on many days and yet, today I saw these photos of him going to yoga and thought, “You know what? Let’s appreciate Russell Brand today.” We may give him some guff but we have nothing against the guy, and will love him forever for trying to trick Tom Cruise into recruiting him into Scientology. Plus anyone David Lynch trusts has to be a pretty cool dude.

So here’s to you, Mr. Russell Brand. Jesus loves you more than you will know.

And by the way, if you have a flat to rent in London, Russell is interested! He tweeted,

Seriously. Does Anyone have a flat in East London to rent btw July 30/Aug 14? For me? Tell me& @schullerinc send links/pics/kinky advantages

All you East Londoners with room in your flats (and hearts) for Mr. Brand should provide yoga mats, crystals, and lots of oversized sunglasses.

July 20, 2013 at 2:00 pm by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Russell Brand

3Russell Brand Is “Devastated” By Katy Perry’s Comments On Their Divorce

katy-perry-russell-brand

Katy Perry made some recent comments to Vogue magazine about her divorce to Russell Brand, namely that the last time she communicated with him was when he asked her for a divorce via text. This “devastated” him. Here’s why, from The Huffington Post:

He’s devastated by what Katy has said, given that they’ve been in contact on numerous occasions. He can’t understand why she would say all these things.

A few things can happen now:

– Katy Perry says she was misquoted.
– Russell Brand denies this story.
– Katy Perry clarifies her comments with, “We’ve been in contact but only about legal matters” blah blah.

Interesting that Brand didn’t address the part of the interview where Perry got all mysterious and ominous about the “real truth” behind their divorce.

Mr. Brand has said only very kind things about Ms. Perry since their split. He’s said that he “loved” being married to her and that she is, “a lovely beautiful person.”

July 3, 2013 at 6:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

3Here Are Russell Brand’s Requirements For A Wife

russell brand soho theater

Russell Brand wants to get married again. I didn’t take sides in the Katy Perry/Russell Brand split, but after hearing that he asked for a divorce via text, I’m team Katy. But if that doesn’t bother you and you’d like to be the new Mrs. Russell Brand, here’s what he’s looking for. From The Mirror:

I would like to marry again and have a family. I am looking for my future wife. I hope she’s kind and sweet and sexually adventurous. I don’t ask for much, do I?

He’s apparently dating some chick named Alessandra Balazs who is 23 and is Chelsea Handler’s stepdaughter. Here is what she looks like:

russell brand's girlfriend

She really puts the “girl” in “girlfriend.”

In case you were curious, Russell Brand is 38.

June 23, 2013 at 10:30 am by Catherine St. Ives
Filed Under: Russell Brand

0Russell Brand Won’t Be Heading to the Middle East Anytime Soon

russell brand

Russell Brand has decided to cancel an upcoming stand-up show to the Middle East, I guess over “safety concerns”. What concerns exist now that didn’t when he first booked the thing is beyond me, but whatever. He was planning to head to Lebanon and Abu Dhabi in August, which is sort of hilarious because I can’t see his humour translating to their audience – especially since much of it doesn’t even translate in the Western world.

From BBC Radio 5:

“Those gigs have been banned, pulled because of threats from extremists that if I went there, there would be problems.

“The venue contacted us and said we can no longer guarantee your safety.”

Well, can’t argue with that. However, the ‘Messiah Complex’ tour will continue around the world and will end in Reykjavik, Iceland in December, so here’s still a chance for you to see Russell live, if that’s your bag. Admittedly, I watched him on Question Time last night and the man knows how to speak. I hate myself for saying that, but it’s true.
June 21, 2013 at 11:30 am by Jennifer
Filed Under: Russell Brand

1Russell Brand Tried to Get With Mila Kunis, Lost To Macaulay Culkin

russell brand mila kunis

Oh, Russell Brand. He’s a generally decent guy with a rampant sex addiction and a strange sense of humour, and you’d got to admire his forthright-ness about some of the shit he’s done in the past. His latest “revelation” is that he tried getting with Mila Kunis back in the day, only to get knocked back when she told him she was dating Macaulay Culkin. Oh, snap!

From The Mirror:

He was married to one ofthe world’s hottest women and previously bragged about having sex with more than a dozen birds in one night.

But Russell Brand still regrets missing out on adding another notch to his severely splintered bed post.

The edgy comedian was filming with Mila Kunis when he tried to charm the gorgeous actress only to discover she was already dating someone.

And the serial shagger – who debuted his new stand-up Messiah Complex world tour in London last night – was stunned when he found out the Hollywood stunner was seeing “the lad from Home Alone”.

He gushed about Mila: “She’s so gorgeous, just so gorgeous and I was chatting her up and got the conversation around to have you got a boyfriend, and then you know that feeling of how long do I have to entertain a conversation?

“Then I go away and she keeps talking about her boyfriend Mac, this is when I was on Sarah Marshall. Eventually she said he’s coming tomorrow and there was some sort of fanfare, she was so excited.

“Then when he came it wasn’t Mac – it was Macaulay Culkin. He’d got longer and looked pale and scared of himself, like a shaved horse.

“There was a horror about him and I thought, ‘you can’t f**k him – that’s the lad from Home Alone’.”

LOL to that. Just goes to show you, Russell, looks aren’t everything! Not that he’s the world’s handsomest guy or anything, but I’d venture to say he has slightly more sex appeal than Kevin McAllister. Also, good for Mila for not being pulled in by him. That would have been a DISASTER.

June 20, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer
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