You know why? Because Mel Gibson‘s divorce from his wife of 28 years, Robyn, was just finalized on Friday. That means that Robyn gets half of everything Mel has. And Mel has a lot:

Among Gibson’s estimated assets: more than $600 million grossed by The Passion of the Christ alone; $100-plus million in real estate investments worldwide (he bought an island in Fiji for $15 million in 2005); and $75 million for film and TV projects for which Gibson, 55, executive produced.

It appears some of his wealth has already been transferred to Robyn, in particular two Malibu homes worth a combined $22.5 million. As for film residuals, Robyn is entitled to half of every future check Gibson receives for the rest of his life.

I would go on about how much Robyn deserves this and how completely unimaginable it would be to be married to Mel Gibson for nearly 30 years, but I just can’t. I’ve slept like four hours in the past two days and I just got all these student loan bills in the mail, which is always depressing, and on top of all that I have to explain to my little guinea pig that his first Christmas is over and he probably won’t get to open presents like that until his birthday in June. I just can’t think about being married to Mel Gibson or how some people have 800 million dollars.

But maybe you guys can! Which would you rather have: a few decades with Mel Gibson for a lover or about $400 million?

Oksana Grigorieva is dropping more bombs, guys. Every day this chick drops a new bomb on us. Today Radar is reporting that Oksana told law enforcement that she witnessed and heard of several occasions in which Mel Gibson was abusive toward his ex-wife Robyn and their son, Tommy.

From RadarOnline:

“Oksana told authorities about Mel’s ‘angry outbursts’ toward his own family and friends,” said a source, familiar with the investigation.

“She said that Mel, in her presence, hit Tommy, in the head, while they were in a box watching a hockey game.

“She said Tommy started crying and whimpered for the remainder of the game, choosing to sit by himself, away from his father.”

And regarding Robyn:

“Mel was telling several times how he threw a TV into her (Robyn) once when they were arguing,” the newspaper quoted the source as saying.

“Thank god he missed and the TV fell out a second story window.”

While these reports came from a source in Russia who claims to be close to Oksana, Robyn told the judge ruling over Oksana and Mel’s custody battle that Mel was never violent with her. Knowing that Robyn’s financial support most likely rests on Mel’s shoulders, it’s hard to know if she’s being honest, but one would hope that no one would compromise the safety of a baby for financial security.

Ewwwwwww ew and ewwwwwww!

Total scumbag!!!

Just weeks after Mel Gibson’s wife filed for divorce because he’s a cheating asshole loser, he showed up at the LA premiere of X-Men Origins: Wolverine with his new penis clamp, Oksana Grigorieva, who may or may not be pregnant with his child.

It kind looks like someone pulled a Wolverine on this woman’s face.

I take some comfort in the knowledge that his Robyn is going to walk away from this nonsense with a cool $450 mil. I can only hope she uses a portion of that to put a hit out on her douchebag ex-husband.

More proof has emerged that Robyn Gibson will deserve every penny of the $450 million she is expected to get in her divorce from actor Mel Gibson. When she finally filed for a divorce a few months ago, I don’t think I was alone in thinking that it was probably due to… oh, I don’t know… his insanity, his drinking problem, his philandering, or his anti-semitism, just to name a few lofty character traits.

As it turns out, she endured all that crap only to have a not-so-immaculate conception shoved in her face.

It’s being reported that the final insult which caused Robyn to pull the trigger on her divorce to Mel came when Russian T & A show Oksana Grigorieava began blabbing around town that she was pregnant with Mel’s child, and mad Mel actually moved the model into one a home that belongs to both him and his wife.

I’m not sure what he thought would happen. Maybe he was just tired of the whole Catholicism thing and thought he’d try a new religion– one where his many wives could all move into a  compound together and don smashing high-necked ruffly dresses and poofy prarie beehives while popping out child after child of the Gibson brood.

Or maybe he’s just a giant douche.

The Gibson fortune? Is estimated at $900M. When the couple met in the ’70s, she was a dental assistant and he was an unknown actor. They most certainly have no pre-nup. They share a $26-million Costa Rican pad, a $15-million island in Fiji, a $42-million church Mel is building in Malibu and the $12-million Malibu home they purchased from David Duchovny and Tea Leoni. The Gibsons also own second home in Malibu that they bought for $1.9 million and a 9-acre piece of property in L.A. valued at $3.5 million.

Robyn is expected to get 50% in the divorce, as per California law. “She’ll probably get $450 million,” says a California judge. This number is staggering, even by Hollywood standards. It’s nearly half a billion dollars. Michael Jordan’s ex-wife Juanita received $168 million and Neil Diamond’s ex, Marcia, was awarded $150 million. Steven Spielberg’s first wife, actress Amy Irving, walked with $100 million.

And let me tell you, this woman has earned it. Can you imagine being married to an alcoholic, homophobic anti-Semite who thinks he’s God’s gift for 28 years? Raising children with him? Sheesh. You take that money and have some fun, girl. Don’t look back.

Also, can we go ahead and get Prop 8 overturned in a hurry so that I can marry her? I’m 27 years old now, for chrissake. I’m ready to stop working and start buying islands. I’d be good at it, I think. I want one with elephants on it. Kthxbai.