Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Rihanna Is Sexually Frustrated, Makes It Awkward for Everyone

A photo of Rihanna

Lately, everything that Rihanna does has one of two effects on me: one, “ugh,” or two, “LOL.” There’s no “oh, that’s respectful,” or “that’s really neat!” There’s not even any kind of “lookin’ good, girl!” It’s either ughs or LOLs with Rihanna, and in a recent interview on Ellen she took things a little more towards the uncomfortable.

On being single: “I’m not necessarily happy being single. It’s not really that cool. It sucks but it is, what it is. Let me say this right, because I don’t want to make it seem like, my work is my everything. I do put a lot into my job. Most of my time if not all of it. It definitely affects my personal life. My personal life is pretty much non-existent. Which is not good, not for the long run. Not for me, not for “Her”(points to in-between her legs) It’s not fun.”

On her taste in men: “I like men that are more aggressive but mysterious but I like a man to be very sure. I like them to be sure of them selves and know that you’re the man. I’m the lady and the only way for us to make this work is for us to play our roles. You know, I can’t really be the man for you. I don’t want to have to be. I’m the man at work all the time.”

Also Twitter: “That’s why I stay on Twitter a lot. So I can conversate with my fans. Because I don’t get any booty calls.”

Does anyone else have That Friend?  You know, the one who’s always all “man, I haven’t had sex in forever.  I need to get laid.  I’m so sexually frustrated.  I have intense anger issues that stem from the lack of someone else’s genitals directly in contact with mine. ” Because I do, and it gets old quick.  And so does Rihanna.

But hey, at least she isn’t a gimmick, right? That would be so awkward.

Stop Tweeting Chris Brown About Rihanna, Ok?!

A photo of Chris Brown

For real, you guys, stop. It’s not cute anymore. I know that back in 2009 or whatever it was the cool thing to do, you know, like “oooh, Chris Brown, why did you viciously assault your girlfriend, Rihanna,” but that was like three years ago. It’s 2011 now, and you guys that haven’t forgotten about that one measly act of domestic violence just need to grow up and get over yourselves.

Here, let me let Chris tell you how he feels in his own words, the ones he Tweeted then deleted:

dont say sh*t to anybody and everyone feels its cool to attack me. GROWN ADULTS!!!! that sh*t happened three years ago!

i know alot of you wack @ss(OLD) celebrities probably wanna f*** my ex but talking sh*t on me wont get u far!

and to be REALLY HONEST… yall wonder why n*gga spazzes all the time? Lol

So, to recap, you guys are way immature for saying things to Chris Brown about the whole Rihanna thing, especially since he hasn’t even done anything, if you do say anything negative to Chris about how he beat his girlfriend, it’s just because you want to have sex with her, and it’s our fault that he spazzes all the time. Got it?

Poll: Is Rihanna A Gimmick?

A photo of Rihanna

I ask because Rihanna recently made this quote:

“It’s all about the music. I don’t want to become a gimmick, ever.”

Here’s where I stand, and I don’t want my opinion to taint yours, but everything this girl does is a gimmick. It’s all sex and aggression and sex and ridiculous clothes and also sex. It’s not all about the music, which, coincidentally, is also largely about sex.

But that’s just my opinion. What’s yours?

Is Rihanna a gimmick?
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Rihanna Does Pretty Much All the Same Stuff in Her Personal Life as She Does in Her Professional Life

photo of rihanna pictures on vacation in italy pics photos facebook private
Which more or less means that her entire existence is a party featuring gads of women, minimal men, How Stella Got Her Groove Back reenactments, and lots of gratuitous bikini footage featuring nipple rings, ample bums and tattoos.

Thanks, Rihanna.

Coldplay Covers Rihanna’s “We Found Love,” Makes It Listenable

Right? When Rihanna first released this tragic song, it was all I could do to get through the entire thing. If I remember correctly, the only way I managed it was by letting my guinea pig listen along with me and repeating “it’ll be over soon, Aladdin*. It’ll be over soon.”

But Coldplay went and did the unthinkable and made a Rihanna song into a song that I actually enjoy. This is monumental. This is a great moment in history. This is precisely why Coldplay needs to cover all the songs.

*His name is Aladdin, but like Bowie‘s Aladdin Sane, not the more traditional Aladdin. As you can imagine, he is one fierce guinea pig.

Rihanna Found Love With an Abusive Chris Brown Look-Alike

For her video that is, her new video for just-released single ‘We Found Love,’ which seems to be an almost-spin-off of her former relationship with Chris Brown. The dude in the video even has the same hairstyle and color as Chris had at one point. The only thing that appears to be different is that I don’t think Rihanna puked ribbons, and I don’t think Chris Brown was as soulful as this guy is (he doesn’t have a soul, remember?).

The video itself is pretty neat and there are a lot of cool visuals. However, it hits just a little bit too close to home to be comfortable with, and I don’t think the Chris Brown comparisons are going to stop here.