2What The Hell Is Rihanna’s Life?

No one lives it up quite like Rihanna. She takes “old enough to know better, too young to care” to a whole new level and goes buckwild pretty much 24/7. On the one hand, she’s still able to do all this while maintaining worldwide pop superstardom, but on the other hand, how many uppers is she on, because I got up at 6 this morning and I’m already ready for a nap.

Continuing her stream of not giving a f-ck (or “phuck”, as she annoyingly insists on spelling it on social media), Rihanna has proved that she’s not pregnant with Chris Brown‘s monster by going on vacation and wearing skimpy bathing suits (no “bump” here, thanks!), smoking a whole lot of weed on 4/20, going to see some strippers and whatever other nonsense she can think of to waste her money on.

Below, a gallery of some of Rihanna’s latest exploits. Since she has so much money to throw around, think she’ll pay my rent for me next month?

April 23, 2013 at 9:30 am by Jennifer

3Rihanna Pregnancy Rumors Run Rampant

Rihanna cancelled some tour dates, so of course this must mean that she’s pregnant. That’s TMZ’s theory:

Rihanna came out of a medical building in Bev Hills Tuesday … and said she’s doing a lot better, but it’s done nothing to stop the pregnancy talk.

Rihanna has cancelled 4 concert dates on her Diamonds World Tour … which kicked off on March 8.

Sources connected to the singer told TMZ in early March she was suffering from a throat infection.  Thing is … it’s been more than a month now and there are clearly still issues.

Because the info coming from Rihanna’s camp has been sketchy … there have been a slew of tabloid stories speculating that she’s pregnant.

Lol, yeah, and you’re one of them.

She was just hanging out with Chris Brown last week and also posted photos of her “bus party.” As one astute Instagram follower pointed out:

(The circled comment is “Yikes really looks like you have laryngitis…..”)

HAHAHA!

I don’t think she’s pregnant, I think she’s just burned out needs a break. What do you think?

April 17, 2013 at 4:30 pm by Catherine St. Ives

0Oh, Shit! Drake Says He Makes Better Music Than Chris Brown (And He Does)

Because, of course, it’d be impossible for a star to just let another star’s shit talk to roll right off their backs without responding (especially in the hip hop world), Drake has hit back (pun intended, I guess) at Chris Brown for calling him gay and generally being a total shit stain. In this case, I think he gets a pass.

During an interview with the Keep It Thoro radio show, Drake basically said what we all know: his music’s better than Chris’s, he f-cked Rihanna and she liked it and… he’s willing to make peace?

“His insecurities are the fact that I make better music than him, that I’m more popping than him and that at one point in life the woman that he loves fell into my lap.

“I did what a real n***a would do and treated her with respect. We have an issue and it’s either gonna drag out, or maybe in ten years we’ll laugh about it over drinks. Just let us solve that shit.”

LOL. Well, okay. Drake cracks me up – he tries to go hard talking about dropping bodies and shit and then he rounds it all up by saying the equivalent of, “But we could totally work it out if he wants to talk about it.” Ever the peace maker, that Aubrey. (And reminds me of Big Ghost’s review of Take Care – if you haven’t read it, do yourself a favour.) But seriously – Drake’s music is SO much better than Brown’s. That alone should say everything there is to say.

April 14, 2013 at 2:30 pm by Jennifer

14Rihanna’s Twitter Is Incomprehensible; Also Posts Photo Laughing With Chris Brown

Rihanna‘s tweets make no sense to me. I don’t understand what she’s tweeting. Like what does any of this mean?:

The link goes to a photo of her wearing a yellow dress (see above).

But the worst is that yesterday she tweeted with a link to a photo of her and Chris Brown smiling and having a grand ole time. Here’s the tweet:

Here is the photo:

They allegedly just broke up, but whatever, friends totally cuddle in cars and take photos of themselves that they know are going to give them a lot of publicity.

So, whatever. Whatever Rihanna. Also it says a lot when Amanda Bynes’ tweets make more sense than yours. At least she’s direct.

April 11, 2013 at 4:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

4Did Rihanna And Chris Brown Break Up For Real?

Rihanna and Chris Brown, maybe the most annoying couple ever, have apparently broken up (again). They’ve been dating for a while, then said they weren’t but were still seeing each other, and now E! News says they have a source who confirms that it’s really over. Let’s hear it:

We can finally close the cluttered chapter of our Rihanna and Chris Brownscrapbooks, because it’s officially over…for now.

A source exclusive to E! News has confirmed the couple’s split after a tireless frenzy of are-they-or-aren’t-they tailchasing. Per the insider, RiRi will always love Chris but has moved on and is reshifting her focus to her career and business ventures.

Currently running the final legs of her international Diamonds tour while spending solo time with her “mini tour family” and conceptualizing new creative ideas for future shows, the superstar is also working toward launching a new perfume and continuing with her ongoing fashion campaigns.

And Chris Brown now has solo time to shift his focus to things like harassing Drake and praying for Justin Bieber. So really, this works out for everyone!

What do you think? Do you think that

a. They’re still together.
b. They’re done.
c. They’re done…for now.
d. They’re done…forever.
e. I am done with them.

April 9, 2013 at 5:30 am by Catherine St. Ives

0Chris Brown Is Calling Drake Gay Now, I Guess

I’d rather be gay than, well, most things – but definitely rather than being a total woman-beating shit stain, but apparently Chris Brown disagrees. Still mad that Drake got down Rihanna‘s pants ages ago, he decided to lash out at him in a remix of Young Jeezy’s ‘R.I.P’ – because the best way to prove you’re totally secure in your own manhood and not at all jealous that your girlfriend went elsewhere is to call that same dude – who also beat your ass once already -  gay. Of course.

Here’s some of Brown’s choice lyrics, which are not only poignant, but also deeply poetic:

“Dearly departed, I bought a plane I departed/ And if you started from the bottom, go on and come out the closet”

Well, okay. Considering that Drake is pretty shamelessly emo as hell, I doubt he’d have any problems coming out of the closet, if said closet existed – especially since fellow artists like Frank Ocean and Lil B have already set the precedent of acceptance in the hip hop community. Also, shut the fuck up, Chris. Seriously, just lock your lips up and throw away the key for good.

Feel free to listen to this utter garbage below (thanks, DramaLikeTheDJ):

April 1, 2013 at 12:30 pm by Jennifer