Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Rachel Ray

Late-Night Links

Prince Harry has officially been deployed to Iraq, where his Nazi garb should go over particularly well. [A Socialite's Life]

Rumor has it Jennifer Lopez will be performing on American Idol in April. [IBBB]

Wow, even a wax version of Rachael Ray annoys me. [Agent Bedhead]

Nick Cannon marries a Victoria’s Secret model he started dating three weeks ago. In Vegas. Oh, like you wouldn’t. [Cele|bitchy]

The Britney “Shears” Photoshop contest. Seriously, some goddamn genius made a Smashing Pumpkins call. A must-see. [Stereogum]

That bothersome buzzing noise coming from the outer edges of the blogosphere is Kim Kardashian, still fucking talking about a sex tape that has nothing to do with Britney Spears or Anna Nicole. [Warship]

The video of the Judge Seidlin Show pilot Anna Nicole Smith verdict. [Ninja Dude]

Larry Birkhead claims that Anna Nicole miscarried a child by him in 2005. Additionally, he asserts that Princess Di used to send him naked pictures of herself, that Dana Plato planned to tattoo his face on her ass, and that there is an invisible purple elephant doing the Macarena in the middle of the room right now. Go ahead, prove him wrong. [INO]

Rachel Ray-cist?

AH HA HA HA HA HA! Okay, I wasn’t even going to run this story, and then I thought up that headline, and I was just pleased as punch with it. So here goes:

According to TMZ, Rachel Ray, whose fascinating cooking show was eventually introduced to daytime TV by Oprah, had some disparaging remarks for the talk show queen during a December 2005 dinner. Ray, after throwing back several glasses of wine, reportedly mentioned a still from Beloved that hangs in the Harpo Productions office, showing Oprah in a skirt from the slavery era and with scars on her back. “Why is she wearing slave drag?” commented Ray. “She obviously has problems being black.” What does that even mean? Like, I understand that it’s not a very nice thing to say, but I don’t understand how you get from Oprah in a slave skirt to the “obvious” conclusion that she “has problems being black.” But I can’t say this is the first time something about Rachel Ray didn’t make any sense to me. There are plenty of other mystifying things about her. Like how she’s famous. And why no one’s shot her. Rachel also allegedly called Brad Pitt a “pussy” and Angelina Jolie a “skanky, backdoor cunt,” and she’s totally right on both counts. Two out of three ain’t bad, Rach.

Ray’s camp denies that she made any of those comments, of course, and, unless someone has this on tape, it’s pretty much destined to become a non-story, because I trust Rachel has enough sense not to repeat it in a press conference, Isaiah-style.