Today's Evil Beet Gossip
R. Kelly

Lady Gaga’s weirdly rapey ‘Do What U Want’ video has thankfully been scrapped

lady gaga r kelly

I’m only vaguely shocked that Lady Gaga – someone who purports to be ingelligent, mindful and outspoken about equality and injustice in life thought it was a good idea to make her video for ‘Do What U Want’ – which features notorious (unconvicted) child molester R. Kelly, by the way – some big rape fest. So much so that the video has been scrapped, thank God. Oh, and did we mention that the vid was directed by Terry Richardson? #Feminism!

From Page Six:

The raunchy video starring Gaga and Kelly was directed by controversial photographer Terry Richardson and depicts racy scenes between the singers. Its release would have coincided with heated attention focused on scandals involving both Richardson and Kelly.

According to our source, Kelly plays a doctor in the video, with Gaga acting as his patient in scenes that riff on her real-life hip injury last year.

Gaga asks Kelly, “Will I ever be able to walk again?” The singer replies, “Yes, if you let me do whatever I want with your body.” The not-so-good doctor then adds, “I’m putting you under, and when you wake up, you’re going to be pregnant.” Alrighty, then!

A source told us, “Gaga had a video directed by an alleged sexual predator, starring another sexual predator. With the theme, ‘I’m going to do whatever I want with your body’? It was literally an ad for rape.” Reps for Gaga and Richardson didn’t comment. Kelly’s rep didn’t get back to us.

Wow. This is in such colossally bad taste that for once, I am actually rendered pretty speechless. I also find it pretty difficult to have serious discourse with/about someone whose head is obviously so far up her own ass that she can’t see the light of day. Whatever sexual fantasies you have, play them out in private – especially if they are potentially triggering/disrespectful to all of those who have been sexually assaulted/violated… and yes, there are millions. The thing is, this video didn’t just have ONE thing wrong with it. It had EVERYTHING wrong with it. I’ve always said that celebrities have no responsibility to be role models, and I don’t believe Gaga does, either. However, I do believe celebrities – and the rest of us – have a responsibility to be decent human beings. Big fail on this one.

Here’s a clip, if you can be bothered. If I have to see Gaga rolling around on a floor and masturbating one more time in my life, I swear to God…

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R. Kelly Can Even Make Sandwiches Sexual

r kelly

R. Kelly is one of those guys who’s a total freak and an absolute hot mess, but you also kinda can’t help liking him anyway because he’s so hilariously ridiculous and also super talented at the same time. At least that’s how I feel, and this video from Rolling Stone only reenforced that feeling.

The mag had a sit down with Kellz and since he was bragging about how he can make anything sound sexy, they put him to the test and asked him to make songs on the spot out of random phrases. The results are REALLY funny… and surprisingly good! The “sandwich of love” one is a bit weird, but you’ve got to give him credit for trying.

Here’s a little bonus for you, as well – if you pre-order the deluxe version of his new album, Black Panties, you’ll get an ACTUAL pair of black panties with the deal. CLASSY!

r kelly black panties

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So, Here’s What Lady GaGa and R Kelly Did on ‘SNL’

lady gaga r kelly

Well, Lady GaGa hosted Saturday Night Live this weekend, and while I still haven’t watched, I certainly have seen her performance of ‘Do What U Want’ with R Kelly and was, predictably, horrified. This is “art”? For real? GaGa got on her knees in front of R Kelly (can I call him just “R”?) before lying down and having him pretend to do push-ups over her and simulate kissing her neck. I just… I mean, whatever.

Not sure how she did on the skits – and yes, I will eventually watch this one out of curiosity – but people were posting gifs on Tumblr that looked pretty amusing.

Look, here’s problem with Lady Gaga: She acts like this bullshit is avant garde art instead of what it actually is, and that’s weird fucking pop music. Do your thing! Duet with R Kelly, try to do a rap song even though it makes zero sense, wear a giant chicken nugget on your head! But don’t pretend there’s some deeper meaning behind it and don’t take yourself so damn seriously.

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Lady GaGa Wore a Floral Thong for R Kelly

lady gaga r kelly do what u want

Well, sort of. Apparently Lady GaGa and R Kelly did a duet (WHY?) called ‘Do What U Want’. The song is from ARTPOP and it’s also being used in a Best Buy commercial in the US right now, apparently. It’s another total disaster, but I suppose it showcases GaGa’s “edgy” side, because what says edgy if not getting your ass out and taking a close up picture of it in a thong? Kim Kardashian would be proud.

I’m not quite sure what the point of any of this is. I don’t understand the photo, I don’t understand the child’s handwriting on the cover, I don’t understand why these two are working together… why?

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R Kelly’s New Song Is Above and Beyond Ridiculous

r kelly

R Kelly is getting ready to release his new album Black Panties - his 13th, if you can believe it – and leading up to it, he’s released his new track, ‘Cookie’, which is… special. It’s all about how much he wants to eat some girl out and how much she tastes like Oreos or whatever. Here’s some sample lyrics:

“Like an Oreo/ I love to lick the middle like an Oreo/ Oreo, Oreo, like an Oreo/ I want to bite it and get inside it till I get you gone.

“Cookie, cookie, cookie, I’m a cookie monster/ Break your back/ Crack it open like a lobster.”

Well, that’s special… but maybe stick to a food group, eh? Are we talking about cookies or seafood, here? It’s a bit too much. The whole song is ridiculous, but this one is SO ridiculous that I can’t help but love it in a rather hysterical way because like… seriously? Have a listen for yourself… I’m still holding my breath for the next 32 chapters of Trapped in the Closet.

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Oh, Good Grief: R. Kelly Is Ready to Film 32 New Chapters of ‘Trapped in the Closet’

photograph of R. Kelly

Here are some things you maybe didn’t know about R. Kelly:

- He has always wanted to be a movie director!

- His epic, Trapped in the Closet, was the product of “having nothing else to do, sitting around in the studio.”

- He told TMZ he now has 32 additional chapters in the bag. Now he just needs “investors” to help him film.

Thank you, R. Kelly. Thank you. This is the greatest Christmas present you could have ever given us.

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(Photo of R. Kelly via Bossip.)

Get Your Tickets Now: It’s the R. Kelly Cruise!

Photo: R. Kelly is definitely ready to party with you

If you didn’t read about this yesterday, I feel bad for you. BECAUSE IT MIGHT ALREADY BE SOLD OUT.

The Internet is abuzz with news of the R. Kelly Cruise. I KNOW! I once spent a full month trying to win a ticket onto the Jeopardy! Cruise, but this is on a totally different level.

Prices start at $1500—that’s right, $1500—which includes a ticket to an R. Kelly Boat Concert, as well as access to the “Karaoke Club.” I wish I were kidding.

But the ship sets sail in October 2012, so act now! Just try not to sit in the “splash zone,” if you know what I mean. Heh, heh.

(Image via SF Weekly.)