In this week’s edition of “Girl, You Could Do So Much Better”, rumours are flying that Uma Thurman – who recently ended her lengthy engagement to Arpad Busson – is already shacking up with weirdo director Quentin Tarantino. I know – I gagged, too.
The pair have been friends for years, of course, but apparently Quentin has “always loved [her]” and they recently decided to take their relationship “to the next level”. Oh boy.
From US Weekly:
Us Weekly can confirm that the two have taken their relationship to the next level. Sources tell Us that the pair recently spent time together at the 2014 Cannes Film Festival in the South of France, where they even shared a villa.
“They had a thing and got together again recently,” one insider tells Us. “He’s loved her for years.” Both Thurman and Tarantino were presenters at the closing ceremony of the star-studded film fest on Saturday, May 24. The willowy blonde star, 44, wearing a floor-length canary custom Atelier Versace couture gown, walked arm-in-arm on the red carpet with the Oscar-winning director, 51.
Just one day before their grand entrance, the two reunited with John Travolta at a Pulp Fiction screening. (The 1994 Tarantino-directed crime flick was Thurman’s breakout moment in Hollywood. She later went on to collaborate with the director as the heroine of Kill Bill: Volumes 1 and 2.)
“There has always been an attraction,” another source explains. “She has indulged from time to time, and that’s how their relationship has always worked.”
She’s “indulged” from time to time? Come on – Quentin Tarantino is a weirdo foot fetishist, not a sprinkled donut (I think I’d prefer him more if he was the latter). The whole thing is just really bizarre to me, but hey, I guess it’s different strokes for different folks.
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Well, okay. Quentin Tarantino was on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno this week and decided that a great story to tell would be about that one time he got in a fight with a cab driver and the guy bit him on the nipple. I suppose this is the point we’re all supposed to say, “Only in New York!” but all I’m thinking is, “Uh, what?”
“I was in the back of this cab and this taxi driver who was a big guy – he was a real jerk. So he was such a jerk I said, ‘Pull over to the side of the road and let me get out’. So he’s acting all huffy. Say the fare was $4.50 and I gave him a $5 but he was such a jerk I didn’t even want to give him 50 cents tip.
“So I was like, ‘Give me my money’, and he was like, ‘Fine’ and he gives me the two quarters and he refers to my date and says, ‘Use it to buy her a new face’. So I’m sprinting around the back of the cab because I’m going to attack him. I come over and I hit him so hard that he goes right back in the cab. I start punching him in the face.
“Now this is all happening in front of a club. So the bouncers grab me and pull me off of him. The guy sees that I’m being held and he attacks me and tries to bite me on my nipple. He didn’t hit me… he sunk his teeth into my chest.”
”I go, ‘Maybe he doesn’t know who I am. I can’t tell anybody about this. I can’t tell my best friend about this.’ So for a year I didn’t tell anybody about it to see if anybody would know about it and it went away. I have been in two fights this year, already. One that I started, one that I didn’t. In both cases it was a big deal, it was all over the newspapers and I paid $30,000 each time. That’s the price of doing business when you’re famous and you punch somebody.”
Don’t you feel better knowing that? I feel like it explains a lot about what a weirdo Quentin is, but maybe that’s just me. Here’s a clip for ya:
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This is probably my favourite story of the day because it’s hilarious and insane. Apparently Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are at odds over a few potential wedding guests, namely… Jonah Hill and Quentin Tarantino? Brad wants them there, Angelina says no way in hell – what will happen? Oh wait, I forgot to add that Philip Seymour Hoffman isn’t welcome, either. Now THAT one is cold as ice. I can see Jonah because he’s an asshole and Quentin is a bit insane, but why not Philip? He’s getting clean! Angelina, noooooo!
From The Sun:
The actor’s missus has banned him from inviting some of his heavier-drinking pals to the bash.
Angelina has given strict instructions for JONAH HILL, QUENTIN TARANTINO and PHILIP SEYMOUR HOFFMAN to be left off the list of invitations in case they get too leathered.
She has also warned that his best friend GEORGE CLOONEY needs to control his wine intake at the nuptials.
A source said: “Angelina wants the whole affair to be very civilised and is concerned about the habits of some of Brad’s more raucous friends.
“She thinks that if Jonah and Quentin come, they’ll hit the bar early on and cause a commotion.”
Brad’s pals aren’t the only problem being ironed out before their big day – the couple are also disagreeing over who should be best man.
Angelina is keen for her brother James to have the gig, while Brad thinks his brother Doug should take on the role.
Either way, they should definitely hold back on any Dutch courage before the wedding starts.
First of all, no one tells the Silver Fox to control his wine intake. Second of all, this story is so great because it’s so regular. I love the idea of Angelina giving Brad a hard time about the wedding guests. Ugh, God help me, I’m totally starting to love Brangelina. :(