4The Taliban’s Jealous of Those Prince Harry Nudes

No, really, they probably are! Wouldn’t you be, if you were one of a miserable bunch of men sitting around with nothing to do but plot the demise of those who think you’re evil incarnate?

From TMZ:

Prince Harry is being targeted for death in Afghanistan … so says a rep for the Taliban (yes, they have a rep).

Harry — a helicopter pilot in the British military — is currently on a 4 month tour in Afghanistan … where he is reportedly fighting Taliban insurgents on the front lines.

Obviously, his presence has pissed off the Taliban … and now terrorist spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid tells Reuters the group has made it a top priority to kill or kidnap the Prince.

“We are using all our strength to get rid of him, either by killing or kidnapping,” Mujahid said during a phone interview either conducted in a cave … or a suburb in Pakistan.

During the interview, Mujahid referred to the Taliban plans as the “Harry Operations” … added, “We have informed our commanders in Helmand to do whatever they can to eliminate him.”

And the reason they are so “pissed off” is because Harry’s allegedly fighting on the front lines … in his birthday suit. OK, that part’s not exactly true. But it’s no more ridiculous than the Taliban targeting our darling Prince Harry for anything other than a Medal of Worldwide Acceptance and Love, right?

September 10, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Sarah

6Prince Harry’s Hookup Girl Tells All: He Just Wanted to Show Las Vegas His “Royal Jewels,” Guys

The chick’s name is Carrie Reichert, a fellow Brit, and word has it that Prince Harry went out of his way to woo the lady (though, let’s be honest, would it really take all that much to woo anybody at all when you’re Prince Harry?), and though they had some fun, it was “nothing serious.” From the UK’s Mirror:

“We kissed, he was naked at the time, and pretty open. It was a drunken fumble. It wasn’t romantic, just fun. He was a gentleman, but he was so wasted. The alcohol affected him. I was there for 15 to 20 minutes.”

So I’m assuming we can go ahead and draw our own conclusions that they didn’t sleep together, and that they probably would have if Harry … well, if Harry hadn’t drank so much that evening. Interesting, to say the least.

Carrie’s thirty-two, and this is her:

Here’s more from the Mirror:

Carrie, 32, is the only girl to come forward to reveal her story of what happened on the now-infamous night when Harry, 27, was caught on camera frolicking naked with a girl after a game of “strip billiards”.

She first spotted the prince and his upper-crust pals when she was by the swimming pool at the Encore At Wynn hotel earlier that evening. Carrie, from San Diego, who was visiting Sin City with girlfriends, said: “They were walking around and I knew exactly who he was. “I was born in England and I’m pretty familiar with the royal family, but I didn’t know the guys he was with. I was the only one who knew who he was. Everybody else was like, ‘Who’s that?’ And I’m like, ‘Oh my God, that’s Prince Harry!’ It was pretty clear who he was.”

Later one of Harry’s entourage ­approached Carrie and asked if she wanted to join his party in the penthouse. Carrie said: “They said ‘Hey, would you like to party with Prince Harry?’ I’m not going to pass an opportunity to party with Prince Harry. At first you think it’s a line. People will say anything to get you to go anywhere in Vegas. There was a bunch of us, it wasn’t just me and my girlfriends, it was just random. They were just picking really pretty girls, about 10 of us.”

Without being checked by security staff, Carrie and the group were taken upstairs to the VIP room where they found the party in full swing. Beautician Carrie said: “We all went up to this huge VIP high-roller suite, and went in and the music was going, alcohol was flowing. “Harry was already undressed. It was just crazy. He looked actually delirious. There was a pool table and he was ­playing air guitar with pool sticks.

“He was screaming out, ‘Somebody get me a glove! I’m going to do a Michael Jackson impression!’ He would just randomly walk up to you and hug you. He was just really friendly and there were just really ­random naked hugs. It was funny.”

Talking about the mobile phone ­pictures of naked Harry cuddling a mystery girl during the game of strip pool, Carrie said: “I didn’t actually see them play the game but it was there and it was going on. I saw the girl, there was just a lot of hugging and maybe some kissing. Just a lot of laughing. It seemed like he was overbearing a …

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September 4, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah

4We’re About to See “Something Pretty Gigantic” Involving Prince Harry

From The Daily Mail:

He may have thought the worst of the Vegas ordeal was behind him as he tries to distance himself back in the UK from his partying antics. But one lone source has claimed the nude strip billiards picture of the Prince is nothing compared with the rest of the story.

A single quote from an anonymous source, used by celebrity blogger Norm Clark on his Las Vegas gossip page, says: “Something pretty gigantic” is involved; something more serious than “strip billiards.”

The claim is the latest in a string of revelations to potentially tarnish the third-in-line-to-the-Throne’s Royal image. Last night, The Palace had no comment on the vague accusation.

After a nude photo of the Prince emerged last week from a private party in a hotel room in Las Vegas, Prince Harry has removed himself from Facebook, where he operated under the pseudonym Spike Wells. Following advice from his private secretary, Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, who is heading an inquiry into the Prince’s trip to Las Vegas, Harry deleted his account. The Mail on Sunday has been told that the Prince’s two best friends, Tom ‘Skippy’ Inskip, 25, who joined him in Vegas, and Arthur Landon, 30, have also closed their Facebook accounts, as has one of his key Scotland Yard minders.

So, there’s a sex tape, right? What else could make Harry, Arthur, and Skippy delete their Facebooks? What else would be so bad that you would give up the option to passive aggressively bitch about every single thing and the ability to quote Taylor Swift lyrics to indirectly tell your crush how you feel about him? What else could quiet the great Spike Wells?

Drugs, hookers, sex tape, some weird kink thing, more Nazi costumes. A tape of Prince Harry in a Nazi costume doing cocaine with hookers while also having sex with them. While sploshing. With sauerkraut. Mystery solved.

August 28, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

0Prince Harry Is Being Offered Ten Million Dollars to Star in A Porn

Poor Prince Harry. Imagine not even being able to play a simple game of strip billiards without having the photos leaked and everyone getting all up in your business. Honestly, if a man can’t go to Vegas and get naked with some girls under the pretense of playing pool, then what has the world even come to?

But things aren’t all bad. Thanks to the leaked photos, Harry has gotten offers from Playgirl (one million dollars for dick pics) AND Chippendales (this one’s a job opportunity, so there’s no specific details on the payment). But now he’s got an offer that he simply can’t refuse: Vivid Entertainment wants to give him ten million dollars, just to star in a porno flick.

Oh my god, you guys, I’m just kidding. Not about the offer – that’s real – but the part about it being an offer he can’t refuse. Because of course he’ll refuse it. Why are these people even bothering with this? Do they not realize how much money he already has? That he won’t need any money for the rest of his whole entire life? Do these people honestly think that Harry might consider their offers, or are they just goofing? I need answers!

But just in case Harry does accept Vivid’s offer, I want you all to know that the film will be titled The Trouble with Harry, and according to the boss over at Vivid, “the sex will be well-scripted.” Of course it will, guy. Of course it will.

August 27, 2012 at 5:30 am by Emily

5Prince Harry Is So Grounded

After those lovely photos of Prince Harry playing strip pool were leaked, it didn’t take the guy long to get on a plane headed back home. And when he gets there, the queen herself is going to send him straight to his room without dinner. No cell phone, no computer, and no video games, either. Because Harry needs time to think about what he’s done. He’s been a very, very bad boy.

From Us Weekly:

Prince Harry is in hot water after TMZ posted naked photos of the single British royal, 27, partying in a Las Vegas hotel room last weekend.

“This is a mess,” a source close to Harry tells Us Weekly. “This was not the type of fun he was supposed to be having. He’s in trouble.”

But the third-in-line to the British throne isn’t the only culpable party in the debacle.

“Protection officers are also in trouble because they could have controlled this,” the source explains of the pics, in which Harry and others (including an apparently nude young woman) were playing “strip pool.”

But a second source close to the party-hearty redhead shrugs off the birthday suit brouhaha.

“He’s a lad!” the second insider says. “This is just him messing about on holiday. No one was hurt, he’s on proper vacation from his work, so he’s not breaking any rules. He’s using his own money.”

And however shocking the snapshots appear, “The photos look sleazier than they are,” the source continues. “They were playing strip billiards.”

It’s not the first time Harry has been photographed in a less-than-dignified light. Back in 2005, he attended a costume party wearing a Nazi swastika armband, later apologizing for the “poor choice of costume.”

One royal watcher who’s not applauding the naked snapshots? His more mild-mannered big brother.

“William was told about the photos this morning,” a third royal insider tells Us of Kate Middleton’s hubby, 30. “He’s not impressed.”

I get that Harry has this image he’s supposed to uphold or whatever, but no. He’s a 27-year-old dude who went to Vegas and got into a friendly game of strip billiards on his vacation. I think we can let him pass on the public flogging, just this once.

August 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm by Emily

32LEAKED PHOTOS: Prince Harry Partied Naked in Vegas and You Missed It

So as it turns out, Prince Harry was playing a little strip pool, and the ladies he was playing with decided to take it to Twitter. AND POSTED NAKED PHOTOS OF PRINCE HARRY TO TWITTER. Do you understand the gravity of the situation? Nudes! Prince Ginger Harry nudes!

In one of the two shots (above), Harry is seen cupping his genitals to preserve some … I don’t know, modesty, or maybe it was because he just didn’t want to show off. I mean, we’ve all seen his penis anyway, so we know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, so I’m thinking it’s probably that second thing I said. In the second shot (after the jump, due to it’s semi-NSFW nature), he’s seen “bear-hugging” another naked woman with his ass crack exposed. And when I say “bear-hugging,” I mean something along the lines of “butt-f-cking,” if that term isn’t too passe to use.

Anyway, this is what a rep for the royal family had to say about the photos:

“We have no comment to make on the photos at this time.”

Images courtesy of TMZ

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August 22, 2012 at 6:30 am by Sarah