Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Prince Harry

Harry thinks royal baby #2 is a one big joke

prince harry

Prince William and Kate Middleton have been forced to procreate a second time (seriously, I can’t imagine Kate in particular would be so keen to get pregnant again already, especially considering how awful her first pregnancy was) and the one person who’s sitting back laughing is Prince Harry. It’s all one big joke to Harry. Life’s a party, eh?

From People:

Harry was smiling at an Invictus Games training session for athletes when he joked, “I can’t wait to see my brother suffer more” with the arrival of a second child.

And if the Duke and Duchess have a girl this time, Harry quips that he would “love to see him try and cope with that.”

After welcoming wounded and injured soldiers to compete in the sports event that he helped to create, Harry, 29, continued to comment on the pregnancy news, this time in a more serious tone.

“I hope the two of them have the opportunity to go through the process again with a little bit of peace and quiet,” he said, adding that sister-in-law Kate was feeling “pretty poorly” from morning sickness, but “doing the best she can.”

I said it the other day and I’ll say it again: I hope they have a girl! Just because it would be adorable. Harry also thinks that Prince George will love being a big brother. We’ll see about that!

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Prince Harry Left His Girlfriend

Cressida+Bonas+Prince+Harry

If you’re seeking a single British royal who once ran around Las Vegas, naked, you’re in luck — Prince Harry split from his girlfriend, Cressida Bonas, according to People. More on the story:

After dating for nearly two years, Harry, 29, recently confided in friends that things were not going well with the 24-year-old beauty.

“He found her too needy and it just wasn’t working out,” says a source close to the prince.

Hey, Harry, here’s a novel idea: try dating someone closer to your own age. Early 20s vs. later 20s is a world of difference. You can get along with someone okay if they’re in their early 20s and you’re later, but you really shouldn’t seek romantic fulfillment with that kind of age difference. I speak from experience. Come on, somebody else has to be with me on this one. It may not seem like a huge difference, but in these key stages of young adulthood, it is.

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Oh No! Prince Harry’s In Danger!

prince harry

Well, not really, but here’s the scoop: Prince Harry is at the South Pole (in? on?) as part of the Walking With The Wounded South Pole Allied Challenge, but it’s now been halted due to inclement weather, which has made the terrain all wonky and totally unsafe to be on. The Challenge’s director Ed Parker released the following statement:

“Until now, the three teams have been racing against one another across the Antarctic plateau, but yesterday I took the decision to suspend the race.

“The reason for this is entirely simple – safety, which remains the core principle of our expeditions. While all three teams were progressing well, it was becoming evident that there was a higher degree of stress imposed on the team members, due to unprecedented terrain on the plateau.”

Don’t worry, though – the whole thing hasn’t been cancelled, just postponed. When it starts up again, the Australian-Canadian, UK and US teams won’t even have to compete against each other any more. They can just travel at their own pace and enjoy the scenery, I guess.

I’m just glad Prince Harry’s safe. He’s got to protect the throne of the Most Handsome Ginger.

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Prince Harry Protected a Gay Soldier Against An Attack (By Fellow Soldiers)

prince harry

We all knew Prince Harry was a total babe, but you can add to that the fact that he’s a really stand-up guy because it turns out, he actually defended a fellow soldier against a homophobic attack by other, more dickish soldiers back in 2008. Harry never told anyone about this, of course – he just did his thing and moved on in his life. It’s the soldier whose ass he saved who revealed the incident in his new autobiography.

From Digital Spy:

Lance Corporal James Wharton, who was Prince Harry’s gunner during their training exercise, revealed the incident in his autobiography Out in the Army.

Wharton explains in one chapter how he reported the homophobic threats to the prince.

“I told him, ‘I think I’m about to be murdered by the infantry’,” Wharton stated. “I climbed into the turret and talked Harry through exactly what had happened.

“He had a complete look of bewilderment on his face. I didn’t hold back: I told him everything that had gone on. I couldn’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes.”

Wharton continued: “He said, ‘Right. I’m going to sort this s**t out once and for all’.”

“Harry climbed out of the tank and started having a go. I worried he was about to make the whole thing worse, but he wasn’t holding back. Prince Harry was sticking up for me and putting a stop to the trouble. I had been on track for a battering and had been rescued.”Prince Harry was reportedly able to calm the other soldiers down. “He came back 10 minutes later and told me the problem had been sorted,” Wharton recalled.”I will always be grateful to Harry, and I will never forget what happened.”

Hey, homophobic dudes – how about we take it down about 800 notches? It seriously blows my mind that so many people still actually care what someone else does in their spare time and with whom. Are you a guy who has no interest in sleeping with other guys? Good news – you don’t have to! But shut the f-ck up about those who do, already.

The Taliban’s Jealous of Those Prince Harry Nudes

photo of prince harry pictures nude pics
No, really, they probably are! Wouldn’t you be, if you were one of a miserable bunch of men sitting around with nothing to do but plot the demise of those who think you’re evil incarnate?

From TMZ:

Prince Harry is being targeted for death in Afghanistan … so says a rep for the Taliban (yes, they have a rep).

Harry — a helicopter pilot in the British military — is currently on a 4 month tour in Afghanistan … where he is reportedly fighting Taliban insurgents on the front lines.

Obviously, his presence has pissed off the Taliban … and now terrorist spokesman Zabihullah Mujahid tells Reuters the group has made it a top priority to kill or kidnap the Prince.

“We are using all our strength to get rid of him, either by killing or kidnapping,” Mujahid said during a phone interview either conducted in a cave … or a suburb in Pakistan.

During the interview, Mujahid referred to the Taliban plans as the “Harry Operations” … added, “We have informed our commanders in Helmand to do whatever they can to eliminate him.”

And the reason they are so “pissed off” is because Harry’s allegedly fighting on the front lines … in his birthday suit. OK, that part’s not exactly true. But it’s no more ridiculous than the Taliban targeting our darling Prince Harry for anything other than a Medal of Worldwide Acceptance and Love, right?

Prince Harry’s Hookup Girl Tells All: He Just Wanted to Show Las Vegas His “Royal Jewels,” Guys

photo of prince harry pictures nude pics photos
The chick’s name is Carrie Reichert, a fellow Brit, and word has it that Prince Harry went out of his way to woo the lady (though, let’s be honest, would it really take all that much to woo anybody at all when you’re Prince Harry?), and though they had some fun, it was “nothing serious.” From the UK’s Mirror:

“We kissed, he was naked at the time, and pretty open. It was a drunken fumble. It wasn’t romantic, just fun. He was a gentleman, but he was so wasted. The alcohol affected him. I was there for 15 to 20 minutes.”

So I’m assuming we can go ahead and draw our own conclusions that they didn’t sleep together, and that they probably would have if Harry … well, if Harry hadn’t drank so much that evening. Interesting, to say the least.

Carrie’s thirty-two, and this is her:

photo of carrie reichert pictures prince harry photos
Here’s more from the Mirror:

Carrie, 32, is the only girl to come forward to reveal her story of what happened on the now-infamous night when Harry, 27, was caught on camera frolicking naked with a girl after a game of “strip billiards”.

She first spotted the prince and his upper-crust pals when she was by the swimming pool at the Encore At Wynn hotel earlier that evening. Carrie, from San Diego, who was visiting Sin City with girlfriends, said: “They were walking around and I knew exactly who he was. “I was born in England and I’m pretty familiar with the royal family, but I didn’t know the guys he was with. I was the only one who knew who he was. Everybody else was like, ‘Who’s that?’ And I’m like, ‘Oh my God, that’s Prince Harry!’ It was pretty clear who he was.”

Later one of Harry’s entourage ­approached Carrie and asked if she wanted to join his party in the penthouse. Carrie said: “They said ‘Hey, would you like to party with Prince Harry?’ I’m not going to pass an opportunity to party with Prince Harry. At first you think it’s a line. People will say anything to get you to go anywhere in Vegas. There was a bunch of us, it wasn’t just me and my girlfriends, it was just random. They were just picking really pretty girls, about 10 of us.”

Without being checked by security staff, Carrie and the group were taken upstairs to the VIP room where they found the party in full swing. Beautician Carrie said: “We all went up to this huge VIP high-roller suite, and went in and the music was going, alcohol was flowing. “Harry was already undressed. It was just crazy. He looked actually delirious. There was a pool table and he was ­playing air guitar with pool sticks.

“He was screaming out, ‘Somebody get me a glove! I’m going to do a Michael Jackson impression!’ He would just randomly walk up to you and hug you. He was just really friendly and there were just really ­random naked hugs. It was funny.”

Talking about the mobile phone ­pictures of naked Harry cuddling a mystery girl during the game of strip pool, Carrie said: “I didn’t actually see them play the game but it was there and it was going on. I saw the girl, there was just a lot of hugging and maybe some kissing. Just a lot of laughing. It seemed like he was overbearing a …

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We’re About to See “Something Pretty Gigantic” Involving Prince Harry

A photo of Prince Harry

From The Daily Mail:

He may have thought the worst of the Vegas ordeal was behind him as he tries to distance himself back in the UK from his partying antics. But one lone source has claimed the nude strip billiards picture of the Prince is nothing compared with the rest of the story.

A single quote from an anonymous source, used by celebrity blogger Norm Clark on his Las Vegas gossip page, says: “Something pretty gigantic” is involved; something more serious than “strip billiards.”

The claim is the latest in a string of revelations to potentially tarnish the third-in-line-to-the-Throne’s Royal image. Last night, The Palace had no comment on the vague accusation.

After a nude photo of the Prince emerged last week from a private party in a hotel room in Las Vegas, Prince Harry has removed himself from Facebook, where he operated under the pseudonym Spike Wells. Following advice from his private secretary, Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, who is heading an inquiry into the Prince’s trip to Las Vegas, Harry deleted his account. The Mail on Sunday has been told that the Prince’s two best friends, Tom ‘Skippy’ Inskip, 25, who joined him in Vegas, and Arthur Landon, 30, have also closed their Facebook accounts, as has one of his key Scotland Yard minders.

So, there’s a sex tape, right? What else could make Harry, Arthur, and Skippy delete their Facebooks? What else would be so bad that you would give up the option to passive aggressively bitch about every single thing and the ability to quote Taylor Swift lyrics to indirectly tell your crush how you feel about him? What else could quiet the great Spike Wells?

Drugs, hookers, sex tape, some weird kink thing, more Nazi costumes. A tape of Prince Harry in a Nazi costume doing cocaine with hookers while also having sex with them. While sploshing. With sauerkraut. Mystery solved.