Today's Evil Beet Gossip
Posh Spice

A Letter to Posh

I thank the Beet quite often for introducing me to The Gilded Moose. It is one of the funniest, smartest, snarky sites out there and today they published quite an amusing letter to Miss Posh Spice who recently moved into Meg Ryan’s old digs in Bel Air.

Dear Posh Spice,

Welcome to Los Angeles. We are so excited to have you here! Also, congratulations of purchasing your new home in Bel Air, the one you bought (allegedly) from Meg Ryan for 20 million dollars. I bet for that much you get a full kitchen with a built in dishwasher (just think, no more dish-hands, Posh!)

But one part of this whole thing is troubling to us: WHERE WILL MEG RYAN LIVE NOW????!!! Is she just supposed to live in her car. Her car doesn’t even have a roof anymore after Puente ripped it off when he was on meth. Maybe she can stay with friends for a few months, but that gets old after a while. And Billy Crystal’s couch is not very comfortable AT ALL. Everyone knows that.

Look, all I’m saying is think about the people you’re displacing when you move into an area like Bel Air and start to gentrify it, okay. Meg Ryan has feelings too.

The Gilded Moose

When the Brits move in its all over…Where will fallen A-listers go now? Burbank? Glendale?

Late-Night Links

Halle Berry claims she’s never had plastic surgery. [Bossip]

Gold is the new rehab. [INO]

Solange Knowles tells her husband … eh … Lisa beat me to it. [A Socialite’s Life]

Fantastic. As soon as we find a fashion designer who’s not gay, he turns out to be a rapist. [Warship]

Um, who is Julie Bowen and why is she talking about her body hair? [Celebslam]

I hate to admit it, but Donald Trump’s little boy Barron is probably the cutest child on the planet. [Monica Monroe]

Get this: Janice Dickinson is probably a lot older than the appearance of her face would imply. [Yeeeah!]

Eh. Jessica Simpson is not adopting a child anytime soon, I assure you. But since everyone is reporting this, here’s a link. [Mollygood]

Jennifer Hudson uses her MySpace blog to try to convince us that not everything you read in the gossip columns is true. Yeah, right. Like I’m supposed to believe that from a girl who tried to bail last-minute on the Soul Train awards! [SOW]

The Beckhams settle on an L.A. home: Meg Ryan’s. [Rumorficial]

Cameron Diaz will have to battle Lindsay Lohan if she wants to get to Jude Law. [BYLTH]

Ryan Seacrest: His Straightest Moments. [Gawker]

Reese Witherspoon jogs the blues away. [Drunken Stepfather]

Late-Night Links

Hayden Panettiere does Comic-Con. Don’t get too excited, guys. She’s still totally unattainable. [Ninja Dude]

Is Katherine Heigl quitting Grey’s? [Warship]

Michelle Pfeiffer stopped aging somewhere around 1974. [popbytes]

Tyra Banks gets kicked off a city bus. [DListed]

Prepare yourself for way more PoshKat pics. The funniest ones are when they pretend like they eat. [A Socialite’s Life]

More Dirt – Posh and Katie Not Sitting in a Tree

It seems as though Posh and KatCruise are in a tiff.

Why you ask? Perhaps it has something to do with Posh slamming the Science religion. There are all sorts of fun quotes here but it’s my sacred duty to distill them into one comedy nugget. Here goes:

According to Victoria’s friend, it all boils down to this: “Scientology is an expensive religion; Victoria is too cheap to convert.”

According to the NY Daily News, Victoria told a pal: “There’s no way I’d spend any money on that nonsense,” regarding the cultish “religion.”

You got it, the issue isn’t Xenu or the fact that the religion was written about 40 years ago by a guy whacked out of his mind on sedatives, no it’s all about the finances baby.

Posh remembers those pre-Spice days, back when she was eating Chef Boyardee out of a can. And who can blame her? Baby Spice is probably working the street right now.

Late-Night Links

Yay! Trista and Ryan from The Bachelorette are expecting a baby! [Gone Hollywood]

Donald Trump may pull a Britney. [Cele|bitchy]

The Beckham’s actual reality was too dull, so they’ve created scripted characters for their “reality” show. You know, just like every other reality show ever. [POTP]

Kurt Cobain would have been forty this Tuesday. [Bree]

Reese Witherspoon and George Clooney? I’m sure this is not true, but I’ll dutifully pass along the rumor. [Holy Candy]

Paris Hilton’s birthday party in Vegas had not a single A-lister. She partied with midgets and monkeys. She’s probably going to check herself into rehab tomorrow just so someone will pay attention to her. [The Blemish]

Mischa Barton’s kid sister checks into rehab. [A Socialite’s Life]

Nicole Richie pleads not guilty to DUI, writes heartfelt thank-you letter to Britney Spears. [Hollywood Grind]

Late-Night Links

After hubby Becks signed with the L.A. Galaxy last week, Victoria Beckham arrives in Los Angeles to do whatever it is that Victoria Beckham does. [DListed]

Well, the sooner Denise Richards marries Richie Sambora, the sooner she can leave him for her best friend’s husband. No, I’m kidding, that would never happen. Denise Richards doesn’t have friends. [A Socialite’s Life]

It’s about time we started rumors that Jessica Alba’s engaged. [The Blemish]

Britney Spears takes Sean Preston to the park, pretends to interact with him. I’m not sure if she’s more neglectful toward her child or her hair extensions. It’s a tough call lately. [Celebrity Smack]

Lauren Graham (aka Lorelei Gilmore) is reportedly a diva on the set. [Celeb Warship]

Is it possible all Saturday Night Live really needed was YouTube? Following the smash Internet success of “Dick in a Box,” the ailing SNL is back in the blogosphere with Jack Gyllenhaal’s brilliant rendition of Dreamgirls‘ “You’re Gonna Love Me.” [popbytes]

Lindsay Lohan looks stunning in her new Miu Miu ads. Also: she doesn’t look anything at all like Lindsay Lohan. [Dirty Laundry]

Agent Provocateur releases the third film in their series, “Kate Moss in Underwear Saying Nonsensical Yet Remarkably Underwear-Selling Things.” [Agent Bedhead]

Ah, the changing of the celebrity gossip guard. Molly Goodson is movin’ on up to PopSugar, but be sure to swing by Mollygood to heckle the new guy. [Mollygood, PopSugar]

Los Angeles is Getting Even Sexier!

Los Angeles will be the new home of Posh and Becks! David Beckham today agreed to a five-year deal with the Major League Soccer team the Los Angeles Galaxy. This has been in the works for a while but I am so excited that he is going to be coming to the United States. I love soccer, and the MLS needs a boost which David will provide for sure. The president of the Los Angeles Galaxy is quite excited about this move as he stated today,

“David Beckham will have a greater impact on soccer in America than any athlete has ever had on a sport globally. David is truly the only individual that can build the bridge between soccer in America and the rest of the world.”

I’m guessing that they will be spending quite a lot of time with their new BFFs Katie and Tom. This move will provide a lot of tabloid fodder which I know that the blogosphere is quite happy about.