Today's Evil Beet Gossip

PETA Hates Honey Boo Boo Child

A photo of Honey Boo Boo Child

How horrible, right? How could you hate an innocent little child like Honey Boo Boo? If you don’t like her, fine, or if you think she’s trashy, whatever. I see you up there on your high horse, I get it. But hate? That’s just sad.

It’s because she has a pet chicken. See that photo up there? The chicken’s name is Nugget. And PETA thinks that is the least cool thing to name a pet chicken.  They want her to rename the chicken “Not A Nugget,” which for some reason just isn’t as catchy, and they want Honey Boo Boo to teach her family and all her friends that “they should be nice to chickens by not eating them.”

They also let her know that there are some super tasty vegan-chicken nuggets in grocery stores, which have the fun and deliciousness of chicken nuggets without the slaughter. They sent her some of those nuggets, along with a shirt with a chicken on it that reads “I am not a nugget.”

Oh, PETA. Stay classy.

PETA Gets It Wrong Again

A photo of Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino

I love animals. Like, I really, really love animals. But I absolutely hate PETA, and it’s because of shit like this. Of course, there are other reasons why I hate PETA, like, for instance, the fact that they euthanize over 99% of the animals in their shelters, but this business just really gets under my skin. Spaying and neutering is important, obviously, but do we really need The Situation, shirtless and surrounded by innocent kitties, to make that point? Is anyone actually going to see this poster and think anything but “ew, gross” or “hell yeah, man, p-ssy is awesome”? Because I seriously doubt it.

Basically, all this poster does is make me hate PETA more than I already do, and also it makes me wonder if The Situation switched to steroids after he got out of rehab. He looks bigger, right? Like in the shoulders and upper arms, he looks unnaturally large. Thoughts?

PETA Is Hating on Reese Witherspoon’s Fashion

A photo of Reese Witherspoon

You see that purse that Reese Witherspoon is carrying up there? That’s a python, or rather, it used to be, and PETA doesn’t appreciate it. Are you surprised? Because you really, really shouldn’t be.

And now here’s the part where PETA attempts to publicly shame Reese.  Here’s a warning for the more tender readers among us: the middle paragraph is the extremely dramatic and graphic part where they talk about all the python had to go through to be made into a bag:

No matter how much Reese paid for that bag, the animals paid a much higher price.

Every year, millions of snakes are impaled on hooks or nailed to trees by their heads and skinned alive. Hoses are inserted into the mouths of large snakes—like pythons—and their bodies are pumped full of water to loosen their skin so that it will cut away more easily. The animals’ peeled, writhing bodies are then discarded, and it often takes days for the animals to die from the effects of shock and dehydration. We can’t imagine that she’d wish to contribute to this hidden suffering, especially for something as frivolous as a fashion accessory that can be replicated with no bloodshed.

These days, it’s easy to have a look that kills without killing—with fake snake, mock croc, python pleather, and other designer items that pay tribute to the beauty of these animals without massacring them.

I get PETA’s point, I really do, and I completely agree. I don’t think you have to skin a snake just to get a purse (which isn’t all that cute anyway, in my opinion), but there’s a better way to get that point across. You don’t always have to make people physically ill or showcase naked ladies, PETA. There’s more to the world than that.